Category Archives: International

Rest of the World versus Rupee scorecard…

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1. US Dollar = 65.
2. Kuwaiti Dinar = 227.
3. Euro = 86.
4. GB Pound = 100.
5. Chinese Yuan = 10.
6. Swiss Franc = 70.
7. Saudi Riyal = 17.
8. Bahraini Dinar = 172.
9. Australian Dollar = 58.
10. Singapore Dollar = 50.
11. NZ Dollar = 50.

Total: 905 (Innings not yet declared), may touch breach 1000.

Bowling attack…
Manmohan, Chidu, Montek, Pranab (Retired) and Raghuram (Being eased out of attack).

All of them started as fast bowlers but strangely all of them have resorted to spin off late.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

The Indo-Pak peace theme song…

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Please sing to the tune of Hum honge kamyaab…

Honge kaamyaab, honge kaamyaab (Pre-Independence mistrust),
Hum honge kaamyaab ek din (Congress-Muslim League face-off),
Ho ho mann main hai vishwaas (Post-Partition violence),
Poora hai vishwaas (1947-48 Kashmir war),
Hum honge kaamyaab ek din (1965 Rann of Kutch invasion).

Hogi shanti chaaro aur (1965 Indo-Pak war),
Hogi shanti chaaro aur  (1971 Bangladesh war),
Hogi shanti chaaro aur ek din (Pokhran I),
Ho ho mann main hai vishwaas (Pak Kirana cold N-tests),
Poora hai vishwaas (Siachen Conflict),
Hogi shanti chaaro aur ek din (Operation Brasstacks).

Hum chalenge saath saath (1990s Kashmir militancy),
Daale haathon main haath (Pokharan II),
Hum chalenge saath saath ek din (Pak Chagai N-blasts),
Ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas (Kargil War),
Poora hai vishwaas (LeT JeM wagaira wagaira),
Hum chalenge saath saath ek din  (26/11).

Nahi darr kisi ka aaj (China-Pak bhai bhai),
Nahi bhaya kisi ka aaj (US-Pak mama bhatija),
Nahi darr kisi ka aaj ke din (Dozens of failed talks),
Ho ho mann main hai vishwaas (Hundreds of ceasefire violations),
Poora hai vishwaas (Thousands of dead lives),
Nahi darr kisi ka aaj ke din (A totally bankrupt leadership).

This Satire of the Original by Sunil Rajguru

Indian border/LoC musings…

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Sad ugly truth…
China: Our soldiers don’t require visa to enter India.
Pakistan: Our soldiers don’t need to enter India. We fire from our positions and the Indian government does nothing.

What is common to Batman, Superman and Indo-Pak peace?
A: They are all fictional characters.
Tragedy is our leaders still believe in it as soldiers keep dying non-stop.

Pak leaders’ gifts…
Liaquat: 1948 Kashmir war.
Ayub: 1965 war.
Yahya: 1971 war.
Zia: Siachen conflict.
Benazir: Kashmir militancy.
Sharif: Kargil.
Sharif is back! Arre kamse kam koi usko return gift to de do!

Antony on KBC…
Antony: People in Pak Army uniform did it.
KBC: LoC kiya jaaye?
AKA: Errr… let me change my answer… Pak Army did it.
KBC: Full marks to you! Now we move on to the next question. What are you going to do about it?

We are an army of tigers led by wolves in lambs’ clothing.
(Summing up the soldier-politician relationship)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indo-Pak musings…

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Maybe the people spotted near the border were wearing Pakistani uniforms Made in China.

Next solution?
“Some unknown people wearing Chinese uniforms are being spotted regularly near the Indo-China border.”

Pakistan PM: Sorry sir, but I am not in control of my country.
Indian PM: Don’t worry. Neither am I.
‪#‎TheekHai‬

Aman Ki Asha is losing to Jung Ki Khwaaish.
(Maybe it’s always been like that since 1947)

Johnnie Walker…
Keep Walking.
The entire sum of the Indo-Pak peace process…
Keep Talking.
(While the results always go for a long walk)

Q: Since the public opinion is against talks with Pakistan, don’t you…
Congress: Public opinion? Woh kya hota hai?

Pakistan’s actions are unacceptable!
(Arre babu! Accept karke unacceptable bolne se kya fayada hai bhala?)

Sometime back on the phone…
Manmohan Singh: What should we discuss in the US?
Nawaz Sharif: Don’t worry! I will give you something to talk about.

On August 13, 1947, they were 40 million Indians.
On August 14, 1947, they suddenly became 40 million Pakistanis who virulently hated Indians.
Do you really expect sanity and peace to come out of this absurdity?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Aman ki Asha musings…

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Defence Minister: Some people dressed in Pakistani army soldiers’ uniform did it.
Citizen: Someone in the Prime Minister’s dress is ruling the country.

Foreign policies…
Theodore Roosevelt: Speak softly and carry a big stick.
Manmohan Singh: Throw away the stick and shut the hell up.

Jitna zor ye sab log Modi ko attack karne pe laga rahe hai, uska aadha energy bhi China-Pak ko counter karane main lagaate to hamari Foreign Policy effective hoti.

Forget Food Security.
What are you doing for Jawan-Kisan Security?

Q: Since the public opinion is against talks with Pakistan, don’t you…
Congress: Public opinion? Woh kya hota hai?

Pakistan’s actions are unacceptable!
(Arre babu! Accept karke unacceptable bolne se kya fayada hai bhala?)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Royal Baby musings…

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· Fact of the day…
‪#‎RoyalBaby‬ Prince George is son of Prince William who is son of Prince Charles who is son of Prince Philip who is son of late Prince Andrew.

· Prince Charles is 64 and yet to even start ruling as King of England (an irrelevant post anyway) and they’re already worrying about his grandson.

· Prince? Charming!
Now can we get back to normalcy?
‪#‎RoyalBaby‬

· We have a new hair to the throne!
Hair, heir, here, there, where… do you really care?
‪#‎RoyalBaby‬

· Will = 0.01% relevance to the world.
His marriage to Kate = 0.001% relevance.
Their child = 0.0001%. Coverage = 101%.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru