Monthly Archives: February 2015

Kejri is CM musings…

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1917: Lenin leads Russian Revolution.
1949: Mao leads Chinese Revolution.
1977: Basu leads Bengal Revolution.
2015: Kejri leads Delhi Revolution???

A million ‪#‎BlowToModi‬ headlines, reports, analyses, status messages, blogs… that were put into the trash can on May 16 have been retrieved.

Every small thing is ‪#‎TestForModi‬.
If he doesn’t fare well its ‪#‎BlowToModi‬
If he does, move on to ‪#‎NextTestForModi‬.
Started in 2002, still running.

2015 August Kranti Agitation …
Anna Hazare=Leader at Jantar Mantar.
Kejriwal/Bedi=CM/Opposition of Delhi.
Baba Ramdev=Government representative, negotiations at Ramlila Grounds.
Target—U̶P̶A̶2̶ NDA2

If BJP loses the New Delhi Assembly elections, then Anna Hazare may request a Ghar Wapasi to Kiran Bedi for his upcoming agitation.
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The grass is greener on the other side.
The banks are blacker on the other side.
(Or how to totally forget black money parked in India.)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

If AAP wins Delhi musings…

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Lord of Lutyens
2013: Fellowship of the AAP.
2014: The Twin Towers of Swearing in and Resignation.
2015: Return of the Kejri.

Every small thing is ‪#‎TestForModi‬.
If he doesn’t fare well its ‪#‎BlowToModi‬
If he does, move on to ‪#‎NextTestForModi‬.
Started in 2002, still running.

If Modi loses, then the Delhi cocktail circuit’s Happy New Year will finally begin on February 10.

Usually governments celebrate after 100 days in power.
This time in the Capital will go wild after 50 days.

After winning the World Cup, looks like a loss to Bangladesh.

Looks like TV news channels finally beat Modi.
(Kejri, Bedi, Shah all being incidental)

What They Don’t Teach You At Harvard Business School—Mark H. McCormack.
What They Don’t Teach You At Kharagpur Engineering School—Arvind Kejriwal.

The fall…
From 2009-14, media backed Sonia, the most powerful woman in India with 200+ Lok Sabha seats, 60+ Rajya Sabha seats and many States.
In 2015, media backed Kejri, a nobody with 4 Lok Sabha seats, 0 Rajya Sabha seats and 0 States.

Parity…
In 15 months BJP wins Lok Sabha plus India’s 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th*, 8th, 10th, 16th and 21st largest States (by area).
But if Kejriwal wins the 30th largest State, get ready to be told by media that Modi Wave is dead, Modi has failed referendum, Amit Shah is over, blah blah blah…
*PDP deal pending.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Nitish-Manjhi-CM musings…

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#‎NitishKumar‬
Expectations…
I will defeat Modi in 2014!
Reality…
I defeated Manjhi in 2015! Phew!
New expectation…
I will defeat (Sushil) Modi in 2016.

#NitishKumar
2013: I will be fighting for PMship in 2014.
2015: I am fighting for CMship in 2015 and political survival in 2016.

One Modi hating ex-CM recaptures his chair. (Nitish)
The other hopes to do so on February 10. (Kejri)

Every CM (except Modi) who wanted to be PM lost CMship…
Maya, Jaya, Nitish, Kejri.
Even Mulayam turned down CM’s post to be PM.
Next: Mamata?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Delhi Assembly election musings…

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Too close to call?
Best CM candidates…
1. Maken.
2. Bedi.
3. Kejri.
Most popular…
1. Kejri.
2. Bedi.
3. Maken.
Best “governance” party…
1. BJP.
2. Congress.
3. AAP.

In a parallel universe…
Delhi ka neta kaisa ho?
Ajay Maken jaisa ho!
Paanch Saal Maken Sarkaar.
Maken lao, Delhi bachao.
Maken, Maati, Manush.
‪#‎AbkiBaarMakenSarkaar‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kashmir versus Pakistan…

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Claim: Indian Kashmir is occupied by Indian Army.
Reality: Pakistan is occupied by Pakistani Army (and terrorist groups).

Claim: Kashmir is a troubled State.
Reality: Pakistan is the most troubled State.

Slogan: Save Kashmir.
Reality: Save Pakistan.

Claim: Indians don’t care for Kashmir.
Reality: Pakistanis don’t care for Pakistan.

Claim: There should be Plebiscite in Kashmir.
Reality: There should be Plebiscite in every State of Pakistan.

Claim: There will be peace in Pakistan when there is peace in Kashmir.
Reality: As long as there is no peace within Pakistan, Kashmir will always be targeted.

Claim: Kashmir should be part of Pakistan.
Reality: Pakistan’s claims on Kashmir will leave it in parts.

© Sunil Rajguru

Paanch Saal Kejriwal musings…

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AAP’s internal survey says that Arvind Kejriwal is already Chief Minister of New Delhi, though he may resign again on February 10.

Key to opinion polls…
Overestimate BJP and Modi bashing begins after results.
Underestimate BJP and Modi bashing done before results.
Either way Modi haters win.

Mr Natwarlal was released in 1979 and had a good run.
Mr Kejriwal was released in 2013 and is still running in 2015.

Delhi Assembly elections spoilt for choice…
Vote for…
a) A weak Delhi BJP.
b) A non-existent Congress.
c) A joke called AAP.
d) An impotent NOTA button.

Changing one at a time…
2011: India Against Corruption.
2013: Politics Against Corruption.
2015: Politics For Corruption.
‪#‎AAPFundingScam‬

Old Lakhan…
Dus ko main dus lakh karke dikhaa du…
New Lakhan…
Paanch ko main paanch million karke dikhaa du…

Years back an aam aadmi saw Laloo, Mulayam, Maya, Mamata, BSY etc and said…
Even I can emulate them!
And emulate them he did.
‪#‎PaanchSaalNautanki‬

Guess who?
My words are not worth even 0.5 aana.
Beggar gave me 5 Rupees.
I lasted (almost) 50 days.
My party may last 500 days.
Every day I lose 5000 supporters.
Anna gave me 5 lakh followers.
Crooks gave me 50 lakh Rupees.

Kejri’s Believe It Or Not!
Someone who worked in the Indian Revenue Service and campaigned nationally against black money is pretending that he is clueless about black money reaching the accounts he manages.

Even the Congress comes with a 5-year guarantee card.
The AAP one is valid for 49 days.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru