Mukhya Mantri Kejriwal musings…

2014…
Kaunsa film laga hai?
A—Dharna Zaroori Hai.
2015…
Kaunsa film?
A—Sequel. Dharna Mana Hai.
Par koi bolta asli naam—Dharna Zaroori Hai 2.
‪#‎DelhiTalkies‬

Same man with same ideology but…
2011: Great hope! What a challenger!
2012: Who is he? Media creation!
2013: Great hope! Modi challenger!
2014: Who is he? Media creation!
2015: Great hope! Modi challenger!
2016: ???

Wheel of fortune…
2014: BJP gets greatest Lok Sabha mandate since 1984.
AAP: 4 seats.
2015: AAP gets one of the greatest Assembly mandates since 1947.
BJP: 3 seats.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Kejriwal won Delhi by a landslide…

Delhi voter 1: Modi is dictator of India. We have to do something.
Delhi voter 2: What?
Delhi voter 1: Make Kejri dictator of New Delhi!
Delhi voter 2: Great idea!

1990s BJP Delhi CM…
Khurana, err Verma, err Sushma…
1998 Delhi voter: Forget it!
2010s BJP Delhi CM…
Goel, err Harsh Vardhan, err Mukhi, err Upadhyaya, err Bedi…
2015 Delhi voter: Forget it!

One explanation…
Anti-incumbency votes of Sheila government
+Pro-incumbency votes of 49-day government
+Anti-incumbency votes of Modi government
= 67/70 seats!

In 2013, BJP beat AAP 32-28.
In 2015, AAP thrashed BJP 67-3.
Both parties have exactly the same core ideologies.
Voters’ attitudes have changed.

If the entire Delhi BJP MLAs can fit on a cycle, then the entire Congress MLAs can fit on an electron of an atom.

2014: Kejriwal is CM for 49 days.
2015: Bedi is CM candidate for 25 days.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More #PaanchSaalKejriwal musings…

AAP after May 16…
Chaar bach gaye lekin party fir bhi baaki hai.
Delhi BJP Unit after February 10…
Woh gaana gaane ka huq bhi hum se chheen liya gaya hai!

Before: The AAP should merge into the Congress.
Now: The Congress should merge into AAP.

Dharnawaale: 67/70.
(Get ready for August Kranti 2015)
Ex-IPS led party: 3/70.
(Delhiites finally take their revenge over Delhi Police)
Sheila’s 15-year-legacy: 0/70.
(Pappu who?)

BJP 1998-2020…
Delhi door hai!

Now New Delhi will demand total Independence and freedom from Modi. AAPistan Zindabad!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#PaanchSaalKejriwal musings…

You can fool some of the people some of the time.
#2013
You can’t fool all the people all the time.
#2014
But you can fool some of the people all the time.
#2015

Modi finally beaten by AAP+JDU+CPM+Cong+MSM+TMC+AIIA+ABCtoXYZ…

The Communist Manifesto was released in 1848 and died in 1991.
However it was reborn in New Delhi in 2015.

Congress didn’t allow Kiran Bedi to be Delhi Commissioner.
Congress votebank transfer didn’t allow Kiran Bedi to be Delhi Chief Minister.

KB = Kiran Bedi. (The End)
MB = Moron Bytes (Ashutosh & Co. rule).
GB = Good Bye (Good Governance).

Now: (Kejri)Wall for Modi Wave!
Later: (Kejri)Wall for Delhi development!

1 Assembly poll first place
+ 1 49-day stint as India’s most insignificant CM
+ 4 Lok Sabha seats
= Greatest relative media coverage ever since 1947.

#‎PaanchSaalKejriwal‬
‪#‎PaanchSaalBawaalHiBawaal‬
‪#‎PaanchSaalBooraHaal‬
‪#‎PaanchSaalInternalLokpal‬
‪#‎PaanchSaalAshutoshKaKamaal‬

Looks like ‪#‎BlowToModiIsBack‬ with a bang.
‪#‎BlowToModi‬

India wins World Cup in 2011.
Loses to Bangladesh in 2012.
Analysis: OMG! India will lose the World Cup in 2015!
Key: India = BJP. World Cup 2011 = 2014 Lok Sabha Polls. Bangladesh = AAP.

Best of luck Delhi for the next 5 years!
(You are going to need it)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The short fairy tale of Arvind Kejriwal…

2011: Once upon a time there lived a great August Kranti mastermind…

2012: …who showed immense potential—getting great media coverage,…

2013: …then he ditched Anna Hazare, floated the AAP to storm to the Delhi Chief Minister’s chair…

2014: … but he threw it away to become first a pretender and then a joke…

2015: …finally the people of New Delhi still loved him and gave him a second chance and they lived happily ever after.

#PaanchSaalKejriwal

© Sunil Rajguru

Kejri is CM musings…

1917: Lenin leads Russian Revolution.
1949: Mao leads Chinese Revolution.
1977: Basu leads Bengal Revolution.
2015: Kejri leads Delhi Revolution???

A million ‪#‎BlowToModi‬ headlines, reports, analyses, status messages, blogs… that were put into the trash can on May 16 have been retrieved.

Every small thing is ‪#‎TestForModi‬.
If he doesn’t fare well its ‪#‎BlowToModi‬
If he does, move on to ‪#‎NextTestForModi‬.
Started in 2002, still running.

2015 August Kranti Agitation …
Anna Hazare=Leader at Jantar Mantar.
Kejriwal/Bedi=CM/Opposition of Delhi.
Baba Ramdev=Government representative, negotiations at Ramlila Grounds.
Target—U̶P̶A̶2̶ NDA2

If BJP loses the New Delhi Assembly elections, then Anna Hazare may request a Ghar Wapasi to Kiran Bedi for his upcoming agitation.
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The grass is greener on the other side.
The banks are blacker on the other side.
(Or how to totally forget black money parked in India.)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

If AAP wins Delhi musings…

Lord of Lutyens
2013: Fellowship of the AAP.
2014: The Twin Towers of Swearing in and Resignation.
2015: Return of the Kejri.

Every small thing is ‪#‎TestForModi‬.
If he doesn’t fare well its ‪#‎BlowToModi‬
If he does, move on to ‪#‎NextTestForModi‬.
Started in 2002, still running.

If Modi loses, then the Delhi cocktail circuit’s Happy New Year will finally begin on February 10.

Usually governments celebrate after 100 days in power.
This time in the Capital will go wild after 50 days.

After winning the World Cup, looks like a loss to Bangladesh.

Looks like TV news channels finally beat Modi.
(Kejri, Bedi, Shah all being incidental)

What They Don’t Teach You At Harvard Business School—Mark H. McCormack.
What They Don’t Teach You At Kharagpur Engineering School—Arvind Kejriwal.

The fall…
From 2009-14, media backed Sonia, the most powerful woman in India with 200+ Lok Sabha seats, 60+ Rajya Sabha seats and many States.
In 2015, media backed Kejri, a nobody with 4 Lok Sabha seats, 0 Rajya Sabha seats and 0 States.

Parity…
In 15 months BJP wins Lok Sabha plus India’s 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th*, 8th, 10th, 16th and 21st largest States (by area).
But if Kejriwal wins the 30th largest State, get ready to be told by media that Modi Wave is dead, Modi has failed referendum, Amit Shah is over, blah blah blah…
*PDP deal pending.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Delhi Assembly election musings…

Too close to call?
Best CM candidates…
1. Maken.
2. Bedi.
3. Kejri.
Most popular…
1. Kejri.
2. Bedi.
3. Maken.
Best “governance” party…
1. BJP.
2. Congress.
3. AAP.

In a parallel universe…
Delhi ka neta kaisa ho?
Ajay Maken jaisa ho!
Paanch Saal Maken Sarkaar.
Maken lao, Delhi bachao.
Maken, Maati, Manush.
‪#‎AbkiBaarMakenSarkaar‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Paanch Saal Kejriwal musings…

AAP’s internal survey says that Arvind Kejriwal is already Chief Minister of New Delhi, though he may resign again on February 10.

Key to opinion polls…
Overestimate BJP and Modi bashing begins after results.
Underestimate BJP and Modi bashing done before results.
Either way Modi haters win.

Mr Natwarlal was released in 1979 and had a good run.
Mr Kejriwal was released in 2013 and is still running in 2015.

Delhi Assembly elections spoilt for choice…
Vote for…
a) A weak Delhi BJP.
b) A non-existent Congress.
c) A joke called AAP.
d) An impotent NOTA button.

Changing one at a time…
2011: India Against Corruption.
2013: Politics Against Corruption.
2015: Politics For Corruption.
‪#‎AAPFundingScam‬

Old Lakhan…
Dus ko main dus lakh karke dikhaa du…
New Lakhan…
Paanch ko main paanch million karke dikhaa du…

Years back an aam aadmi saw Laloo, Mulayam, Maya, Mamata, BSY etc and said…
Even I can emulate them!
And emulate them he did.
‪#‎PaanchSaalNautanki‬

Guess who?
My words are not worth even 0.5 aana.
Beggar gave me 5 Rupees.
I lasted (almost) 50 days.
My party may last 500 days.
Every day I lose 5000 supporters.
Anna gave me 5 lakh followers.
Crooks gave me 50 lakh Rupees.

Kejri’s Believe It Or Not!
Someone who worked in the Indian Revenue Service and campaigned nationally against black money is pretending that he is clueless about black money reaching the accounts he manages.

Even the Congress comes with a 5-year guarantee card.
The AAP one is valid for 49 days.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

AAP versus BJP in Delhi elections…

World War I: AAP versus Congress.
World War II: AAP versus BJP.
World War III: AAP versus ex-AAP/IAC.

AAP campaign…
Modi for PM, Kejriwal for CM.
Translation: Mil baant-ke khaate hai.
Modi campaign…
BJP for PM, BJP for CM.
Translation: Na khaoonga, na khaane doonga!

India A̶g̶a̶i̶n̶s̶t̶ For C̶o̶r̶r̶u̶p̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ Politics…
Anna: Trinamool*.
Kejriwal, Yadav, Bhushan: AAP.
Bedi, Shazia, Binny: BJP.
*=Came in ad backing Mamata for PM.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru