I doubt there can ever be a Pappu Wave even within the Congress party.
Jab tak sooraj chaand rahega,
Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty bhaarat ko barbaad karega.
Anyone who thinks that only a PM’s son should be PM believes in both the caste system and eugenics.
#Pappu
Looking at his lineage, Pappu is probably the most secular politician in India.
Pity he has absolutely no other credentials.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
In an exam paper, Modi got 80/100 and Kejri got 0/100.
Kejri screamed, “Modi failed to get 100 by 20 marks!” a few dozen times.
Media reported: Modi failed by 20 marks.
Pappu couldn’t even give the paper.
Sonia said, “Had he given the paper, he would have got 100/100.”
Media reported: Pappu narrowly misses getting 100/100.
Final headline…
Pappu best candidate. Kejriwal best challenger to Modi.
(And that’s how we are comparing a man with Zero days experience as Chief Minister with a man with 49 days experience as Chief Minister with a man who has 4500+ days experience as Chief Minister)
© Sunil Rajguru
The diminishing dynasty…
Nehru: Ruled till death.
Indira: Ousted and returned.
Rajiv: Ousted in one term.
Sonia: Never made PM, but power behind it.
Rahul: Will never taste power?
Destruction ka dwaar Pappu sarkaar.
Ab ki baar Modi sarkaar,
Agli baar Pappu sarkaar,
Media ki pasand Kejru sarkaar.
The most successful Congress campaign slogan this time would be…
Agli baar Pappu Sarkaar.
(Would be valid in 2019 too)
After elections, AAP and Congress can merge to become Aam Aadmi Congress.
Party President: Pappu.
2019 PM candidate: Kejriwal.
NaMo: Maine use apni naani yaad dilaa doonga!
Pappu: Fail! Main daadi ko yaad kar raha hu!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Abki baari Atal Bihari.
Abki baar Modi sarkar.
Went bhains in paani, for LK Advani.
Advani’s 2009 campaign…
Death to rapists.
Will bring back black money.
Manmohan is a stooge.
Still got plastered.
Moral: Don’t be ahead of your times.
Love triumphs over hate.
The Congress started by hating Modi and ended up loving Vajpayee, Advani, Jaswant…
Changing times…
Emergency: Advani looks down on Media.
Babri demolition: Media looks down on Advani.
Today: Advani-media bhai bhai.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
In India, we have two pairs of glasses: Secularism and Communalism.
Depending on which pair you wear, the same thing can look totally different.
Note: The glasses are monopolized by one group only…
Secular X riot = Secular.
Communal X riot = Genocide.
Secular X Hate speech = Freedom of speech.
Communal X Hate speech = Fascism.
Secular X Very strong leader = Statesman.
Communal X Very strong leader = Hitler.
Secular X Journalist = Independent.
Communal X Journalist = Severe bias.
Secular X Gasbag = Intellectual.
Communal X Intellectual = Gasbag.
Secular X Corruption = Clean chit.
Communal X Allegations = Criminal.
Secular X Weak foreign policy = Diplomacy.
Communal X Strong foreign policy = Alarmist.
Secular X Status message = Power of Internet.
Communal X Status message = Section 66A.
Secular X Distorian = Historian.
Communal X Historian = Distorian.
Secular X Politician = Incorruptible.
Communal X Politician = Guilty.
Barack Obama X Revenge by voting = Secular.
Amit Shah X Revenge by voting = Communal.
Narendra Modi X Any good thing = Communal.
Sonia Gandhi X Any bad thing = Secular.
LK Advani X Rath Yatra = Communal.
LK Advani X Anti-Modi = Secular.
Any citizen remotely supporting Modi = Communal.
Any citizen soundly attacking Modi = Secular.
Post script…
India is a sovereign socialist secular democratic republic.
If he wins on May 16, Modi haters will declare India a communal fascist state.
© Sunil Rajguru
Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?
Sanjaya Baru’s book is fiction: PMO.
That Manmohan was ever PM itself is fiction: Citizen.
Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.
MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.
Baru ne kee MMS pe vaar,
Abki baar Modi sarkar.
Jag main sundar do hai naam,
Chaahe remote control kaho ya rubber stamp.
—Sonia Mata.
1992: Everyone knows Babri demolition planned.
2014: Breaking News! Babri demolition planned!
2004: Everyone knows MMS is Sonia stooge.
2014: Breaking News! MMS is Sonia stooge!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru