Modi general election musings…

The BJP actually released its manifesto way back on September 13, 2013.
It was the shortest one ever and read…
Modi is our PM candidate.

Modi is like Windows.
The moment you take his name in a debate, the debate hangs and gets stuck.

Which is bigger:
Anti-Congress wave or pro-Modi wave?
Which is smaller:
Pro-Congress wave or anti-Modi wave?
Does it exist:
Any non-Modi non-Congress wave?

Modi hater: Do you think India will ever move on from 2002.
Correct question: Will the Modi hater ever move on from 2002?
Answer: No.

No agreement on…
World: Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
India: Did Modi mastermind Godhra or not?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Abki baar Modia sarkaar musings…

Abki baar Modi sarkar,
= Aakhri baar Dynasty ki sarkar.

Why not start campaigning for 2019…
Abki baar Modi sarkar,
Agli baar bhi Modi sarkar.

Ye manifesto kya cheez hai yaar?
Ab ki baar Modi sarkar.

The D4 slogan…
Ek, do, teen, chaar,
Ek, do, teen, chaar,
Chaaro milke saath chale to kar de chamatkar,
Par ye kya hai yaar,
Abki baar Modi sarkar.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

AAP election campaign musings…

They claimed…
ABC of national politics = AAP, BJP, Congress.
The reality…
ABC of irrelevance = AAP, BSP, CPM.

Is thappad ki goonj suni tumne? Ab is ki goonj ki goonj tumhe sunai degi, sunai degi…
—Dr Dang.
Is thappad ki goonj suni tumne? Ab is ki goonj ki goonj tumhe sunai degi, sunai degi saare news channels par 24X7.
—Mr Kejriwal.

The pattern…
1. Kejriwal attacked.
2. Attacker thrashed by AAPians.
3. Modi indirectly blamed.
4. Attacker turns out to be AAP/ex-AAP/an Aam Aadmi.

If the AAP is a B-Team of the Congress, then Rakhi Sawant’s Rashtirya Aam Party looks like a B-Team of the AAP.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

India T20 WC final loss musings…

India ki ho gayi WC main haar,
Ab ki baar Modi ki sarkar.

Cricket…
What the Yuvraj giveth to Team India in 2007 & 2011, he taketh away in 2014.
Politics…
What the Yuvraj giveth to Congress in 2009, he taketh away in 2014.

Change in captaincy?
Dhoni chooke lene ICC trophies chaar,
Ab ki baar Kohli ki sarkar.

Rahane-Yuvi-Dhoni: 18(36)
beat Kohli: 77(58).

Who would have thought?
After beating the greatest captains in the world, Dhoni loses to captains Rohit (IPL final) and Malinga (WCT20 final).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Differences between Rahul Dravid and Rahul Gandhi…

Dravid: Did all the work and someone else got the limelight.
Gandhi: Did absolutely nothing and still got the limelight.

Dravid: Saved India on many an occasion.
Gandhi: India needs to be saved from him.

Dravid: The Wall—Nothing could go past him.
Gandhi: The Gate—Everything goes through him.

Dravid: Retired at 38.
Gandhi: At 38 was still a political baby.

Dravid: People were ready to walk miles to watch him bat.
Gandhi: People want to walk miles away when he speaks.

© Sunil Rajguru

The ultimate Ab ki baar Modi sarkar rhyme…

Ab ki baar aar ya paar,
Ab ki baar no daraar,
Ab ki baar Delhi is not far,
Pappu PM only in jocular,
Pakki hai Congress ki haar,
Hil gaya Delhi ka durbaar,
Milega use ek naya avatar,
Milenge naye naye shikaar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

There’s only one charcha in the bazaar,
Only one conversation in every car,
In each and every seminar,
While gulping pizza or idli-sambhaar,
Or even eating caviar,
Only one man is on the radar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

It’s the ultimate political interwar,
This country has become bipolar,
Desh ke beech main hai deewar,
Par kahe cop, general aur tehesildar,
Bole neta, kisan aur zamindar,
Kahe jawaan, manager aur jamaadar,
Even the student who does ratta maar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

Detractors kahe ye hain brutal tsar,
Godhra kahe baar baar baar,
Par hai ye bandha superstar,
Yaane ke simply stellular,
BJP ka hai ye lodestar-polestar,
Hai ye Saffron ka renewed waar,
Dega apne opposition ko zabardast maar,
Badlega Bharat ka sansaar,
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

This version by Sunil Rajguru