Monthly Archives: July 2013

Modi, tere paas kya hai?

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Indian Politician: Mere paas US ka ticket hai, elite institute ka degree hai, fancy English accent hai, exclusive club membership hai, international friend aur contact circle hai, dollars ki dher hai… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Saala ye US Presidential polls hai ki Lok Sabha elections?

Parliament: Mere paas murder accused hai, rape accused hai, 2G scam hai, Coalgate hai, CWG hai, ungineet scams hai, disruption ka power hai, anek walkouts hai, Swiss bank accounts hai, (in fact Sachin Tendulkar bhi hai)… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Aila! Aur aap criminal mujhe bolte hai?

Indian leader: Mere paas caste equations hai, minority votebank hai, regional satraps ka backing hai, pseudo-intellectuals ka fraud secular certificate hai… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Aur mujhe laga ki 1947 ke baad Constitution ne sab ko equal bana diya… no discrimination on the basis of caste, religion, region…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Can’t visit the US, can’t rest in India…

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· America is the new holy land.
If a particular person steps foot on it, it will become communal.

· Lose Lok Sabha election. Become PM.
Be murder accused. Become MP.
Get elected CM thrice. Get hounded like a common criminal.

· Everyone wants to select/veto Modi as PM.
But in the end that call will be taken by 545 old fogies, one-third of them likely to be chargesheeted, solely based on what “deal” they get.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu can’t rule saala…

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· Pappu to Congressmen: Behave yourselves! We are the most arrogant party in India!
Result: ‪#‎AditiRestaurant‬

· Pappu lives in a magical world and still thinks that India is beautiful…
His theme song…
Udhar tum haseen ho, idhar dil jawaan hai…

· Nirman=Under construction.
The actual slogan is…
Ho Raha Hai Pappu Nirman!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Indian politics…

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· In the world just about anyone can become a politician.
In India, just about anyone has.

· If corruption is eating money.
If India is a restaurant.
Then the citizens of the country are looking at unpaid bills in the region of maybe hundreds of lakh crore Rupees since 1947.
‪#‎AditiRestaurant‬

· Right now Kapil Sibal is reading and re-reading George Orwell’s 1984 and wondering how it can be implemented in India before 2014.

· Pappu + Decent language + Mahatma Gandhi =
Diggy + Tewari + Mani + Jha + Khurshid + Tehseen + Nirupam + Sibal + Renuka + Narayanaswamy + Singhvi.
(Equation balanced)

· The Diggy Raja logic…
For everything wrong with India, A: RSS formed in 1925.
For everything right, A: Congress gave India Independence in 1947.

· MMS has given 1300 “formalities” not “speeches”.
Nation is still waiting for one single straight from the heart sincere speech from him.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

PR kiya to darna kya…

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Just replace pyaar by PR and you get a host of great PR movies…

For those who love the industry…

Maine PR kiya… PR Karne Wale Kabhi Kam Na Honge… Jeena Hai PR Main… Hum Hai Rahi PR Ke… Har Dil Jo PR Karega… PR Zindagi Hai… PR ka Mausam… PR Kiye Jaa… PR Ki Kahani… Jahan PR Mile… Jab PR Kisi Se Hota Hai… PR Ke Kaabil… Kaho Na PR Hai… Aao PR Kare… Ye Raaste PR Ke… Rishta Hai PR Ka.

The haters…
Maine PR Kyun Kiya?… Kya Yahi PR Hai?… Kabhi PR Nahin Karna!… Lut Gaye PR Main… Paisa Nasha PR… PR Ke Naam Kurbaan… PR Hua Chori Chori… Hote Hote PR Ho Gaya… Pani Jaisa PR… PR Ki Pungi… PR Ka Rog… PR Impossible!… Ye Stupid PR… Inteha PR Ki… PR Ka Saudagar… PR Ki Saza… PR Ke Naam Qatl-E-Aam… PR Ka Karz.

When it triumphs in the end…
PR Jhukta Nahin… Ye PR Na Hoga Kam… PR To Hona Hi Tha… PR Ki Jeet… PR ka Devta.

When there’s too much of it…
PR hi PR… PR hi PR Main… Dekha PR Tumhara… Silsila Hai PR Ka… Kyun Tumse Itna PR Hai?… PR Ka Mandir… PR Do PR Lo.

Out of the box…
Anokha PR… Kuch PR Kuch Pagalpan… Kaisa Ye PR Hai!… PR Deewana Hota Hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Modi equations…

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Funny sounding Modi half-phrase <Greater than> Practically every other major lead story.

Allegations against Modi <Greater than> All Congress scams put together.

Anything related to 2002 Godhra <Equals to> Breaking news.

1 Ishrat encounter <Greater than> 1000 encounters of last 10 years.

I conditionally/partially support/appreciate Modi/His speeches/Gujarat development <Equals to> I am communal.

Modi is Hitler <Equals to> I am secular.

Blow to Modi <Equals to> Universal cut and paste for any story related to him.

Bonus:
Any Diggy Raja phrase <Equals to> 100% credibility.

© Sunil Rajguru