On the Delhi anti-rape protests…

· Delhi is now officially a Police State. Section 144. Metro stations shut.
100% tolerance to crime. 0% tolerance to crime protests.

· Strange mathematics….
In 2009, about 12% of India voted directly for the Congress to give it 38% of share in the Lok Sabha to give it effectively 100% dictatorial power till 2014.

· Congress agenda…
Lock the (India) Gate.
Make (Raisina) Hill impossible to climb.
Remove the “Jan” from Jantar Mantar.
Remove the “Dil” from Dilli.
Put “bhaya” (fear) into Bharat to make it Bhayarat.

· Protest Online, get Section 66A!
Protest Offline, get Section 144!
Kaun kambakht kehata hai ki Hitler mar gaya?

· Nargis: I’m Mother India.
Bal Thackeray: I’m Godfather.
Sonia: I’m Godmother India.

· Why didn’t the President come out and say Something… Anything to the protestors?
That’s because he was just too busy doing Nothing… as usual.

· Spot the difference…
Then: Rapists’ unarmed assaults against women.
Now: Delhi Police’s armed assaults against women.

· Mulayam-Maya: We will never let the Communal forces of BJP come to power and hence support the Dictatorial forces of the Congress forever.

· Manmohan Singh is waiting for more fake PMO Twitter accounts to ban thereby showing he can take tough action to the anti-rape protestors.

· The Congress does an Asrani in Sholay 2012: Hum angrezo ke zamaane ke politicians hai, ha ha!

· Congress Gabbar Singh ki tarah hai, zulmi.
Janata Thakur ki tarah hai, bebas and without hands.
Jai aur Viru kahan hai?

· Waiting for Manish Tiwari to come and say that people are protesting against Sachin’s ODI retirement and not anything else.

· Aaj New Delhi main Section 144 ka zabardast falooda ho gaya.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The world has ended musings…

∙ The world ended yesterday.
Today you are in the Matrix, an exact copy of our original world.
Now you are merely energy for computers.
Wait for Morpheus to contact you.

∙ The Mayan Long Count Calendar ended yesterday.
The next Long Count Calendar will end in 4772.
So you now suddenly have 2760 more years to make your life more meaningful!

∙ Your perfect world ended on a date much before Dec 21, 2012.
That’s when you came to Earth.

∙ There’s little chance that this world will come to an end any time soon.
Humanity may, though not the Earth.
If that happened, then the universe wouldn’t even notice.

∙ The world did end yesterday… for about 150,000 people… that many people die every day…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

BJP Gujarat victory musings…

· In 2007 Gujarat polls, BJP got 10 less seats. In 2012, 2 less. So if BJP gets 114 seats in 2017, Chidambaram will call it a hat-trick of wins for Congress.

· A tale of two would be PMs…
Every success takes me closer to the PM’s chair: Modi.
Funny! The same thing happens with my successive failures: Rahul.

· A tale of 4 Gujaratis…
Gandhi liberated India.
Jinnah created Pakistan.
Patel united India.
What will Modi do?

· Best to take your greatest fears head on.
TV Channels: We’re petrified of Modi becoming PM.
So let’s take it head on and discuss it non-stop!

· Waiting for Rahul to say that had Modi not been born, then there would have been no Godhra, 20% growth in the state and there would have been paradise on Earth in Gujarat.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The world will end musings…

∙ There’s some vague principle that says the universe exists because we’re there to observe it.
So if the world ends today and we’re the only life forms in the universe, then the universe will simply cease to exist because we’re not around to observe it any more.

∙ If the world is really coming to an end, then most people will pray for just enough time to update their last status message.

∙ If the world ends today, then Sachin would never have retired, the Congress would have never lost power, the global warming dudes were shouting for nothing and hell will burst at the seams.

∙ For many Indians, the world will end in 2014 if Modi becomes PM.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

A revenge series gone horribly wrong…

There were Prior failures, but India refused to listen to the warning Bell and our batsmen kept Trotting back to the pavilion thereby Cooking our goose. India de-Flowered at home! This has to be the Swann song for many Indians who are not in fine Nick. Will the BCCI get to the Root of the problem and make Broad-based changes or will we have another full Monty when Australia visits us?

© Sunil Rajguru

The Barney song for all occasions…

Original…
I love you, you love me,
We’re a happy family,
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
Won’t you say you love me too?

For Twitter…
I Follow you,
You Follow me,
We’re all Followers like Followers should be,
With a great big ReTweet,
And a mention from me to you,
Won’t you say you’ll ReTweet me too?

For Facebook…
I Like you,
You Like me,
We’re all friends like friends should be,
With a great big Comment,
And a Poke from me to you,
Won’t you say you Like me too?

For Congress-BJP bhai bhai in scams…
I help you,
You help me,
We’re all scamsters like scamsters should be,
With a great big deal cut,
And a share from me to you,
Won’t you say you’ll defend me too?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru