An unequal fight…
The Team: Mere paas Anna (Bada bhai) hai, tere paas kya hai?
Rahul: Mere paas maa hai!
(Aur bonus main baap, dadi aur pardada ki legacy!)
∙ It’s a shame that any leader would want to build statues of himself or herself all over the place.
Once again it’s an Indian bureaucrat that is covering a politician’s shame.
∙ Congress war cry: Hamse jo takarayega, Corruption main mil jaayega.
(Take that Team Anna, BJP…)
© Sunil Rajguru
Wife: Swami!
PC: Woh naam mat lo mere saamne!
Party worker: Ki chhora Ganga kinare waala…
Maya: Mat gaana ga woh! Chhora haath dho kar hi peeche pad gaya hai UP ke!
Worker: Can sir…
Rahul: Cancer? Stop talking nonsense!
Sometime after the World Cup final…
Madam: Sachin is a real bharat ratna!
PC (To himself): Hmmm, now we’ll have to change the rules!
© Sunil Rajguru
Rahul Gandhi: Bihar is not developed because NDA is not focusing on the poor.
Rahul Again: Orissa is not developed because though it is rich, the people are poor.
Rahul Yet Again: Punjab is not developed because Central funds don’t reach the poor thanks to the State government.
And Rahul Yet Again: UP is not developed because of people like Mayawati.
Who Else but Rahul: India will not develop till UP is developed.
First Voter: What do you think?
Second Voter: I think Rahul is not developed!
PJ of the day…
Yesterday’s slogan if you didn’t have enough money to do something…
Majboori ka naam Mahatma Gandhi
Today’s Congress slogan if you don’t have any more ideas to revive your party…
Majboori ka naam Rahul Gandhi
© Sunil Rajguru
Yuvraj: Ab main Uttar Pradesh ke baare main baat karunga…
(Par kuch log use bolne hi nahin dete…)
Pahala Prashna: UP se pahala Pradhan Mantri kaun bana tha?
Yuvraj: Errr… mere pardada…
Doosra Prashna: Aur aapki dadi kahan se chun ke aayi thi?
Yuvraj: Errr… UP…
Teesra Prashna: 1984 main kaunsa Pradhan Mantri Uttar Pradesh se chun ke aaye the aur saare Lok Sabha ke seats le gaye the?
Yuvraj: Errr… mere papa…
Chautha Prashna: Aap aur Sonia kahan se chunav jeet ke aaye hain?
Yuvraj: Errr… UP… par woh sab chhodiye, mujhe ye rajya sirf dus saal ke liye deejiye…
Paanchva Prashna: Congress ne UP main kitne saal raj kiya?
Yuvraj: Errr… lagbhag paitees saal… par woh sab chhodiye… Mayawati galat hain…
Chhatha Prashna: To sahi kya hain? Aapka vision kya hain? Strategy kya hai?
Yuvraj: Errr… koi vision nahin, koi strategy bhi nahin aur sahi kya hai main nahin jaanta, main sirf itna jaanta hu ki aap please please bheek mat mangiye doosre rajya ja ke!
Saatva Prashna: To kya isi rajya main bheek maange?
Yuvraj: Errr… errr… errr…
(Aur kuch log hasne lagte hain…)
Diggy Raja: Khaamosh! Haso mat! Ek din ye Pradhan Mantri ban-ne hi waale hain, tab hum sab hasenge aur aap sab roenge! Ha ha ha ha…
Moral of the story: He who laughs last, laughs the longest…
© Sunil Rajguru
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
PC.
PC who?
PC you see in Parliament, but PC we no see, says the Opposition and decision making goes out of the window. Chee chee!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dawood.
Dawood who?
They would still deny the existence of all dons, terrorists and accused hiding in their country.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Rahul.
Rahul who?
Dravid, if you want to save a Test match and Gandhi if you want to save the Congress.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kasab.
Kasab who?
Kasab ka hisaab aaya hain, Rs 16 crore spent in 3 years!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
The last couple of decades have thrown many an election jingle…
Here are the Rahul Gandhi remix versions of the same…
∙ Na billi hain na parcha hai,
Bas Rahul ka hi charcha hain,
Par ye kya wakayi accha hai?
Kyunki ye to baccha hain,
Uska soch bhi kuch kaccha hai,
Ye sab solaah aane saccha hai…
∙ Jab tak suraj chand rahega,
Bhrashtachar tera naam rahega,
Rahul beta tu kya karega?
∙ Rahul hai aur Gandhi hai,
Chai ke pyaale main aandhi hai.
∙ Rahul ka haath,
Aam aadmi ke saath,
Maro Manmohan ko laat,
Aur lagao desh ki waat.
∙ Rahul ko lana hai,
Congress ko bachana hai,
Bhale hi desh ko marwana hai.
∙ Manmohan hatao, Rahul lao,
Desh ko dubao, mewa khao,
Congress log naacho, kudo aur gaao.
∙ Koi jaat, koi biradar,
Congress main sabhi barabar,
Unless you’re in the Gandhi biradar.
∙ Aadhi roti hawa main,
Rahul Gandhi tawa pe,
Kya ye desh ki dawa hai?
Abbe kya tu daaru pee ke pada hai?
These jingle versions by Sunil Rajguru