Rahul Gandhi prime ministerial musings…

∙ Rahul Gandhi: The man with Zero achievements, a Thousand speeches, a Million sycophants and who’ll one day rule a Billion lives.

∙ Rahul Gandhi could not be made “working” President because for that, he would actually have to “work”.

Ae mere watan ke logon,
zara aakho main bhar lo paani,
desh shaheed hoga ab to,
kyu ki Rahul banega pradhan mantri.

∙ After 1991: Rahul was virtually No. 2.
When Sonia entered politics: Practically No. 2.
After 2004: Unofficially No. 2.
Now he’s officially No. 2.
So many promotions to stay in the same place!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Jab Yuvraj Uttar Pradesh ko bachane chale the…

Yuvraj: Ab main Uttar Pradesh ke baare main baat karunga…

(Par kuch log use bolne hi nahin dete…)

Pahala Prashna: UP se pahala Pradhan Mantri kaun bana tha?

Yuvraj: Errr… mere pardada…

Doosra Prashna: Aur aapki dadi kahan se chun ke aayi thi?

Yuvraj: Errr… UP…

Teesra Prashna: 1984 main kaunsa Pradhan Mantri Uttar Pradesh se chun ke aaye the aur saare Lok Sabha ke seats le gaye the?

Yuvraj: Errr… mere papa…

Chautha Prashna: Aap aur Sonia kahan se chunav jeet ke aaye hain?

Yuvraj: Errr… UP… par woh sab chhodiye, mujhe ye rajya sirf dus saal ke liye deejiye…

Paanchva Prashna: Congress ne UP main kitne saal raj kiya?

Yuvraj: Errr… lagbhag  paitees saal… par woh sab chhodiye… Mayawati galat hain…

Chhatha Prashna: To sahi kya hain? Aapka vision kya hain? Strategy kya hai?

Yuvraj: Errr… koi vision nahin, koi strategy bhi nahin aur sahi kya hai main nahin jaanta, main sirf itna jaanta hu ki aap please please bheek mat mangiye doosre rajya ja ke!

Saatva Prashna: To kya isi rajya main bheek maange?

Yuvraj: Errr… errr… errr…

(Aur kuch log hasne lagte hain…)

Diggy Raja: Khaamosh! Haso mat! Ek din ye Pradhan Mantri ban-ne hi waale hain, tab hum sab hasenge aur aap sab roenge! Ha ha ha ha…

Moral of the story: He who laughs last, laughs the longest…

© Sunil Rajguru

Remixed election jingles for the Yuvraj…

The last couple of decades have thrown many an election jingle…

Here are the Rahul Gandhi remix versions of the same…

Na billi hain na parcha hai,
Bas Rahul ka hi charcha hain,
Par ye kya wakayi accha hai?
Kyunki ye to baccha hain,
Uska soch bhi kuch kaccha hai,
Ye sab solaah aane saccha hai…

Jab tak suraj chand rahega,
Bhrashtachar tera naam rahega,
Rahul beta tu kya karega?

Rahul hai aur Gandhi hai,
Chai ke pyaale main aandhi hai.

Rahul ka haath,
Aam aadmi ke saath,
Maro Manmohan ko laat,
Aur lagao desh ki waat.

Rahul ko lana hai,
Congress ko bachana hai,
Bhale hi desh ko marwana hai.

Manmohan hatao, Rahul lao,
Desh ko dubao, mewa khao,
Congress log naacho, kudo aur gaao.

Koi jaat, koi biradar,
Congress main sabhi barabar,

Unless you’re in the Gandhi biradar.

Aadhi roti hawa main,
Rahul Gandhi tawa pe,
Kya ye desh ki dawa hai?
Abbe kya tu daaru pee ke pada hai?

These jingle versions by Sunil Rajguru