Hillary and US Presidential musings…

200 million voted for “Fascist” Modi.
52% voted for “racist” Brexit.
Roughly half of US supports “Hitler” Trump.
Maybe problem with “allegation hurlers”, not people.

Obama 2008 slogan…
Change we can believe in!
Hillary 2016 slogan…
That change which never came which we’re still trying to believe in!

Obama 2008 slogan…
Yes we can!
Hillary 2016 slogan…
We didn’t, but we still can, just 4 more years!

No Pak terror state.
No suing Saudis.
Surveillance State.
Targeting Snowden-Manning-Assange.
Negligence with secret mails OK.

Hillary to Pak: You can’t keep snakes in your backyard and expect them only to bite your neighbors. You know, eventually those snakes are going to turn on whoever has them in the backyard.
Q: Great! But aren’t you the handler of the snake handler?

US pensioners’ polls…
No matter who wins, towards the end of the term the President will be 70+ and the Vice President 60+.
Obama retires at 55.

Had Sanders become President, he would have turned his country into the USSR.
(United States Socialist Republic)

From 2017, we should have an Obama Day.
When all day we will talk and talk great things and vow “Yes we can!” but actually do no work.

Sanders, like all Communists, is a coward at heart.
Now forget fighting Hillary, he can’t even speak against her.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Trump-Hillary musings…

Hitler ruined Europe.
Obama-Hillary ruined the Middle East.
Trump hasn’t done anything yet.
So right now, who’s more like Hitler?

Pappu will destroy the Congress.
Corbyn will destroy Labour.
Hillary will destroy the Democrats.”

High stakes.
Hillary has the unconditional support of the President, liberals, media, intellectuals and powerful Left ecosystem.
If she loses, they all lose.

Trump has momentum.
Europe is burning.
Terror is alarming.
Hillary is unstoppable.
Europe on right track.
Get used to terror.

Ever since Obama made the intolerance comment on India, intolerance has skyrocketed in America.
Be careful who you make dig at.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings about America…

flag-75047_640Religious intolerance in India would’ve shocked Mahatma Gandhi.
Racial intolerance in US would have shocked Martin Luther King.

Obama made snide remarks about Indian intolerance.
US religious committees tried to butt in.
They should look into their own backyard.

18th century—Independent.
19th century—Ended slavery.
20th century—Ended segregation.
21st century—Still fighting for racial equality.

Thatcher first woman head of State of West in 1979.
UK repeating with Theresa in 2016, while US still struggling with a first.

UK got its first man PM in 1721.
It got a woman PM 258 years later.
US got its first man President in 1789.
1789 + 258 = 2047.
If Hillary misses the bus, then US could break UK’s record.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Trump is the enemy musings…

Q: What did Obama do for refugees in his 8 years?
A: Trump will build a wall.
Q: How did Obama help African Americans in 8 years?
A: Trump is a bigot.
Q: Did Obama really change America in any way in 8 years?
A: Trump will destroy America.
Q: Was Obama’s foreign policy a disaster?
A: Trump’s foreign policy will be a disaster.

Sanders supporters are typically doing what all Communist supporters do.
Verbal abuse, throwing of chairs, disruption…
They now have targeted both Trump and Hillary.

Had the super delegates backed Sanders, then he would have been ahead.
If Trump beats Hillary, then the Democrats only have themselves to blame.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

October 2013 Status Updates

Many years ago, they made a Tryst with Corruption.
At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the whole world slept, they looted the nation.

Both Rohit and Ishant made their international debuts in 2007.
Since one Sharma has come really good in 2013, they are hoping the other one will come good too.

Alice in Wonderland: I try to believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Diggy Raja: I try to say as many as six impossible things before dinner.

Congress strategy for 2014…
The Food Security Bill is the Aadhar for our personal NREGA (Nehru-Gandhi-Dynasty Recurring Employment Guarantee Assurance scheme).

(October 31)

A tale of 4 Gujaratis…
Gandhi liberated India.
Jinnah created Pakistan.
Patel united India.
Next in line: Modi.

As Indian election symbols include every object under the sun, polls will now be held during power shutdowns at night with fluorescent election booths.

If Narendra Modi takes over as PM, he could well say…
Humko mita sake ye zamaane main dum nahi, humse hai zamaana, zamaane se hum nahi…

Madhya Pradesh Congress wants EC to hide “Lotus” ponds from voters.
What next?
Roam around with your “Hands” in your pockets till elections?

(October 30)

Before you judge anyone, walk a mile in their shoes.
If you do this with everyone you judge, you will find yourself somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

We have some “Breaking Information” announces an Indian TV anchor.
I think most information is broken only by the time it hits TV channels.

(October 28 )

Yell in office.
Keep walking out of office.
Be corrupt.
Promote your family (Nepotism).
Drown your country & save yourself.
Live long.
(Reference: Indian Politicians)

USSR=Big Brother watching over all its citizens.
USA=Super Big Brother watching over all global citizens.

Obama: I spy with my little eye something beginning with M.
Merkel: Oh God! I thought it was a game. I didn’t think it would actually be my mobile!

(October 27)

Yesterday: How many movies are in the Bollywood Rs 100 Crore Club?
Today: How many cities are in the Onion Rs 100/kg Club?

Very soon Bollywood will release an exclusive list of stars who are not in the Rs 100 Crore Club.

If Ranbir Kapoor and Virat Kohli require deodorant to get female attention, then most of the girls in India will surely remain single.

(October 26)

Main bhi Sachin Tendulkar ban-na chahata hu.
#Onion #Petrol #Dollar #Century

(October 22)

© Sunil Rajguru

General international musings…

∙ Obama: Oh God! Enough of these hardships and burdens! Please show me the light and make my sufferings much less!
And God said… Let there be Republican primaries!

∙ Pak PM: And what kind of strange clock is this? Is it a Cuckoo Clock? Does it tell the time?
General: No! This is a Coupcoup Clock. It tells you when your time is up!

∙ Q: And why do you want Independence?
Scot: I don’t know! The whole world seems to be asking for it!

© Sunil Rajguru