Tag Archives: #2014Polls

2014 general elections results musings…

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171 million people voted for the BJP.
That’s a new world record.
Congress 2009: 153 million.
Obama 2008: 69 million.

80 million people watched Kolaveri D on YouTube.
135 million Indians watched the 2011 World Cup cricket final.
171 million Indians voted for the BJP in 2014.

Directions from the 2014 electorate…
No Left turns and U-turns.
Turn Right and keep straight.

Bees Saal Baad finally gets a sequel.
Greatest mandate since 1984 or…
Tees Saal Baad.

End of the Lohiaites?
LS Seats: Mulayam (5), Laloo (5), Nitish (2), Ajit (0).
(Paswan: 0 in 2009, survives with the help of Modi in 2014)

PM pretenders…
Pappu: No numbers even for Opposition Leader.
Kejri: No entry to Lok Sabha.
Nitish: 2 seats.

Making chai for The Wife.
She came tired from office and said…
Chaiwallah Pradhan Mantri bana hai, kamse kam chai to bana do!

2002-14: Blow to Modi.
2014: Blow to Modi Haters.

Strange Indian TV channels…
He’ll be sacked as CM.
He’ll lose as CM.
He’ll never be PM candidate.
BJP will just fall short.
May 16: We were right! We were right! We were right!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ban gaya Modi sarkaar musings…

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Na billi hai na parcha hai,
Bas Modi ka hi charcha hai,
Ye desh ke liye accha hai,
Ye solah aane saccha hai.

This was the biggest polarization event in the history of Independent India.
The people were on one side.
The intellectuals, MSM, liberals and pseudo-seculars were on the other side.

In the world of Indian TV channels and Time magazine, Kejriwal has won 300 Lok Sabha seats.
In the real world however, he couldn’t make it to double digits.

Kerala…
Highest divorce rate.
Highest suicide rate.
Highest Congress Lok Sabha seat win rate.

All the Congress CMs have offered to resign. What about you?
Sonia-Pappu: We can’t do that. The Dynasty is of divine origin.

The Modi hater…
The Congress lost.
Kejriwal didn’t win.
The people were polarized.
Modi is lucky and he is in for trouble.

Amit Shah has more brains than Sonia, Pappu and Pappini combined.
Modi is way outta their league.

Modi haters get a new mission.
To undermine the office of the PMO.

Voters’ final message…
So called secular parties are communal.
So called communal party is development party.

Q1: Will the Congress rule?
Q2: Will the Third Front rule?
Q3: Will the Congress and Third Front join hands?
A: The Congress has become the Third Front.

Congress is a regional party.
BJP UP is bigger than Congress India in terms of Lok Sabha seats.

Modi+: Triple Century.
Pappu+: Half-century.
Kejriwal: Single digits.
Yet for the mainstream media, all three were the same.

Congress: #MissionSaveDynasty
D4: #Mission160
Modi: #Mission272
Goal-setting is the most important thing.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The (Mo)D-Day is finally here…

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Modi’s success is one-third ability (proved as CM) + one-third hard work (stunning electoral campaign) + one-third sheer luck (countless Congress self-goals).

Abki baar Modi sarkaar,
Agli baar bhi Modi sarkaar,
Pappu ko dikhao bahaar jaane ka dwaar.

Other battles won…
Right beats Left.
SM beats MSM.
Development beats pseudo-secularism.
Experience beats inexperience.

Today the biggest self-fulfilling prophesy of India has come true.
#ModiHaters

(If he delivers)
Tallest BJS/BJP leaders…
1. Modi.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Mookerjee.
4. Advani.
5. Upadhyaya.

Lord of the Kings…
2004: Fellowship of the UPA.
2009: The Twin Towers of Sonia and MMS.
2014: Return of the King (Modi).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Goodbye Congress musings…

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Goodbye…
UPA2.
MMS.
Sonia.
Goodbye and see you in 5 years…
Mrs Vadra.
Try to stay humble for 5 years …
BJP.
What will you do for 5 years?
Pappu.

In 1919 Motilal became Congress President and formally launched the dynasty.
If Pappu-Pappini lose in 2019 too, then they can put flowers on its tombstone on the Centenary.

Now the entire mainstream media can proudly call themselves anti-establishment.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Priyanka Vadra musings…

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Sometime in 2012…
A Congress leader looking at Pappu’s speeches and thinking, “2014 gaya!”
Sometime now…
The Congress leader looking at Mrs Vadra’s speeches and thinking, “2019 bhi gaya!”

Priyanka Vadra is campaigning in 2 Lok Sabha constituencies and not in the other 541.
Based on TV coverage, you could be forgiven for thinking that it’s the other way round.

The TV channels motto…
Abki baar Vadra sarkaar.

Aalochana karna aasaan hai, kaam karna mushkil hai…
Says the woman who has done absolutely no kaam in her entire life.
#MrsVadra

Q: Some say Priyanka Vadra.
Some say Priyanka Gandhi.
Which is the right way to call her?
A: Priyanka Who?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more 2014 General election musings…

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Most politicians of India…
Abki baar, Modi se takraar.

Even when he goes to vote, he’s mobbed by a paparazzi kind of crowd with mobicams.
#NaMo

Elections are the only time when you may be asked…
Please show me your finger!

Their strategy…
Attack Modi + Defend Sonia.
Prop up…
Pappu (Fail).
Then Kejriwal (Fail).
Then Mr Vadra (Fail).

Pro-Modi spin…
Giriraj said Modi haters can live.
Farooq said Modi supporters should drown.
Anti-Modi spin…
Giriraj asks Modi haters to take a walk to Pakistan.
Farooq asks Modi supporters to take a walk on the ocean.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru