#Demaunetization: When the silent one spoke!

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If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

Sonia released Robot 1.0 in 2004, it ran till 2009.
Sonia released Robot 2.0 in 2009, it ran till 2014.
Even Rajinikanth can’t beat that!

Manmohan as The Trinity…
1991-96: The Creator.
2004-09: The Preserver.
2009-14: The Destroyer.

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. #TheekHai.
3. In the end we are all dead.

Modi doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because it’s extempore.)
Manmohan also doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because someone else has written it and he’s given it at the last moment.)

His multiple choices …
a) First Manmohan Singh became Economist.
b) Second he became Bureaucrat.
c) Third he became Politician.
d) Finally he became “None of the Above”.

SINGH is King!
S = Spectrum, coal and many other scams.
I = Internet Emergency.
N = No spine whatsoever.
G = Gayab. (Awaaz, governance, etc…)
H = Home and abroad both equal failures.

A movie on Manmohan Singh’s life would be called O.H.M.S.
On Her Majesty’s Service.
He has been serving the Dynasty and not the nation since 1998.

Everyone knew Manmohan was a tubelight.
He started speaking about 2004-14 misrule only in 2016.

The problem with watching Manmohan Singh’s speech is that I funnily get the feeling that any time now he’s going to burst into tears.

Manmohan Singh…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?
MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Madam: #Demonetization kaisa hai?
Puppet: #TheekHai!
Madam: Kya!!! Aaj RS main blast karna hai!
Puppet: #TheekHai! (I’ll just describe UPA)

Even at the age of 84, after his speech he’ll have to go to her and say…
Madam! Main theek bola na? Aap khush to ho na?

Under the Manmohan regime, crooks freely converted white money to black with impunity.
He’s upset it’s all being undone by #Demonetization.

Manmohan Singh: The Father of Polinomics.
Half (Politicize economics)
+ Half (Economize politics)
= Zero.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Another never-ending round of Pappu musings…

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Pappu: Has no brain.
Puppet: Can’t use his brain.

Rahul is about
½ of Manmohan’s age
¼ of his grace
1/6 of his experience
1/8 of his intellect
But Manmohan is zero.
So they are both same in the end.

Nehru pushed Indira into politics.
Indira pushed Sanjay/Rahul politics.
Sonia pushing Pappu into politics.

Advisor: We are at an all-time low of 45 Lok Sabha seats. We can’t go any lower!
Pappu: Challenge accepted!

Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.

All dynasts got Prime Ministership/Remote Control on platter.
Pappu has been an MP for 12 years and is still struggling.
#AccheDin

In 15 years, Indira won party leadership, elections, wars, did Pokhran, made many bold moves…
In last 15 years, #Pappini Priyanka bagged Sidhu.

Modi 2019 strategy: Development + Governance + #SurgicalStrikes + FDI windfall + 500 rallies…
Congress 2019 strategy: Hey! #Pappini Priyanka looks like Indira!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lalu still rocks musings…

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#LaluLand
Kejri wants to be like Lalu.
Nitish joins hands with Lalu.
Mamata will turn WB into Laluland.
Media will continue loving Lalu.

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak Kejri ka nautanki rahega chalu.
#AngreziLalu

Rulers of…
National politics—Modi.
Comedy—Pappu.
Drama—Kejri.
Jungle Raj—Lalu.
Illegal aliens—Mamata.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

All hail Hillary on the biggest loss in the history of democracy…

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cartoon-2026564_640The mainstream media backed Hillary.
The global media backed Hillary.
The Obama Presidency apparatus backed Hillary.
Most world leaders backed Hillary.
The pollsters backed Hillary.
The Democratic National Committee backed Hillary.
Most of the Republican old guard backed Hillary.
The Democratic old guard backed Hillary.
All the living Presidents backed Hillary.
Intellectuals backed Hillary.
Liberals backed Hillary.
Feminists backed Hillary.
NGOs backed Hillary.
The debate questions backed Hillary.
The debate moderators backed Hillary.
Even the debate layout (putting chairs, low mike for Trump etc) backed Hillary.
The Corporate world backed Hillary.
The war industry backed Hillary.
Hollywood superstars backed Hillary.
Silicon Valley czars backed Hillary.
Prominent billionaires backed Hillary.
The FBI and Justice Department virtually backed Hillary.
Black Lives Matter backed Hillary.
Illegal aliens voted and backed Hillary.
Most of the rich donors backed Hillary.
Even a sitting Supreme Court judge trashed Trump and openly backed Hillary.
Sanders backed Hillary (even with a knife of betrayal in his back).
Violent protestors thrashed Trump supporters and backed Hillary.

Despite all this, Hillary was so useless that she got thrashed 232-306 in the electoral college by a 70-year-old man with virtually zero political experience and who never held a political post in his entre life and who was attacked and demonized 24X7 by most of the above mentioned groups.

Despite all this she was declared victor even before the final vote had been caste, she had her transition team ready and Newsweek even shipped copies declaring her Madam President.

Despite all this most of the above groups still can’t believe it and behave as if a landslide was stolen from her and protest violently.

Let’s just declare her the most unelectable candidate in the history of humanity and move on.

If her backers support her fake martyrdom all the way to 2020, then get ready for a Trump landslide.

(C) Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Kejri get #Demonetized

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Modi is really lucky that he has clowns like Pappu and Kejri as his chief political opponents.

Kejri has sunk so low off late that he has emerged on the other side of the globe.

Under Nehru-Indira-Rajiv, queues (wait) for gas connections, phones, scooters and cars used to last for years.
Now Congress screams for a wait of hours.

Pappu visits yet another ATM.
For him ATM has become…
Any Time Mockery.

Tumhara votebank?
Pappu: Minorities, par unke liye kuch nahin kiya! LOL!
Kejri: Mera corruption plank aur maine bhi corruption ke liye kuch nahin kiya. LOL!

Many politicians in India today…
Nahin chalegi nahin chalegi,
Bharashtachar ke khilaaf tanashaahi nahin chalegi!

2011.
India Against Corruption.
2016.
Politicians have just stopped short of officially launching…
India For Corruption.

Rahul looks like Rajiv.
But sounds like a Pappu.
Mrs Vadra looks like Indira.
But sounds like Sonia.
#Pappini #Priyanka #UPPolls

The 2017 August Kranti agitation will be against Kejri.
Anna Hazare could still lead it.

2000: Rajesh Pilot died.
2001: Madhavrao Scindia died.
2012: Pranab Mukherjee became President.
2014: Manmohan Singh era ended.
No real leaders left in Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Media gets #Demonetized

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Lalu Jungle Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Akhilesh Goonda Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Mamata anarchy.
Media: Wah wah!
Modi makes bold move.
Media: This will cost him next election!
(Won 4/4 for CM/PM by the way)

Journo 1: I am a crime reporter. You?
Journo 2: I am an ATM/bank queue reporter. I’ve become quite a specialist at it too!

One TV news channel to another…
Bhala tumhara ATM line hamara ATM line se lamba kaise?

Modi: I can end black money!
Media: I can end Modi’s career! (By showing only negativity. Trying and failing since 2002.)

Before….
Show a line of commentators on the TV screen venting non-stop.
Now….
Show a bank/ATM line on the TV screen venting non-stop.

ATM/Bank queues are the new Panel Discussions for Indian TV news channels.

There is a breed of commentators in India who have no ideology or stand or real views.
They just oppose whatever Modi does.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru