Category Archives: Indian Politics

It’s all about the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

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The mother of all plans…
Plan A: Senior Dynasty member.
Plan B: Junior Dynasty member.
Plan C: Wait for some other Dynasty member to grow up.

When things go right: All credit goes to the Dynasty.
When things go wrong: No blame goes to the Dynasty.

Every day…
Wake up thinking of the Dynasty. Listen to the Dynasty. Praise the Dynasty. Defend the Dynasty. Bow to the Dynasty. Sleep thinking of the Dynasty.

Slogan…
404 seats: Mera Dynasty Mahaan.
44 seats: Phir Bhi Mera Dynasty Mahaan.

Before election…
Rahul Gandhi Congress Bachao Yojana.
After election…
Rahul Hatao Priyanka Lao Yojana.
Roadblock…
Narendra Modi Congress Dubao Yojana.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Latest Indian political musings…

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The 71-0 rule…
71% illegal coal block allocations took place under Coal Minister Manmohan Singh and yet most news reports gave him 0% coverage.

Sequels are rarely better than the original.
Pappu: But we had planned a threequel where I was to come at the end!
‪#‎UPA1‬ ‪#‎UPA2‬ ‪#‎UPA3‬‬‬‬

Very soon, all Indian bookshops will have a separate section on UPA exposes.
‪#‎Baru‬ ‪#‎Parakh‬ ‪#‎Natwar‬ ‪#‎Rai‬‬‬‬‬

Advani looked retired in 2004.
Virtually retired in 2005.
Should have retired in 2009.
Looks fully retired in 2014.
‪#‎2019Polls‬ ‪#‎IllBeBack‬‬‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Nehru-Gandhi dynasty musings…

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A Gandhi story…
Beginning: Once upon a time there was a Gandhi (Mahatma).
Middle: Indira, Sanjay, Rajiv and Sonia all ruled.
The End: Pappu.

Pakistan: Either the Army rules or its puppet.
India: Either the Dynasty rules or its puppet.
India changed in 2014.
Pakistan will never change.

The Dynasty is at its End of Days.
The leadership is finished.
Good time to join the Congress.
You could be the next PM in 2024 or 2029!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Rang de laal…

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rose-143947_640Someone once called Naxalites “Gandhians with guns”.

The truth is totally different…

In India…

Naxalites are Communists with guns.

Editors are Communists with pens.

NGOs are Communists with foreign funds.

Historians are Communists with textbooks.

Activists are Communists with a cause.

Politicians are Communists with power.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi and other political musings…

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Modi: There is no humour in Parliament.
Pappu: I protest! You are wrong as usual! What about the Congress being reduced to a joke?

Started in 2002, it still continues…
Baithe, baithe, kya karein? Karna hai kuch kaam,
Shuru karo ek cooked up story, leke Modi ka naam!

Rome wasn’t built in a day.
10 years wasn’t enough time for Sonia.
What? Modi hasn’t transformed India in 3 months?

The Congressi Ratna…
23 political party members won the Bharat Ratna.
All 23 were current/former members of the Congress party.

Nehruvian Consensus is a misnomer.
Nehru was an autocrat and half his Cabinet quit in protest.
It should be Nehruvian Diktat.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Smriti Irani and other political musings…

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When Smriti Irani finally gets a degree, they can make the TV serial…
Kyunki Graduate Bhi Kabhi 12th Pass Thi!

Some university should just give her an honorary doctorate and then Dr Irani will be able to move on from all these controversies.

The Bharat Ratna has been devalued so much that soon they will introduce a Mahabharat Ratna.

Nitish on Laloo then…
Ye jungle raj hai!
Now…
Jungle main mangal!

September 2013: Laloo convicted.
May 2014: Laloo rejected at polls.
August 2014: Laloo accepted by Nitish.
From National Democratic Alliance to Nitish’s Doomed Alliance.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru