Jab zinda hain to joote pheko, jab mare to maala pahanao tasveer ko,
Jab zinda hain to nautanki artist, jab mare to sirf hamra Picasso,
Jab zinda hain to parties chup, jab mare to dukh khed aur Bharat Ratna ki baat,
Jab zinda hain to anti-national, jab mare to true Indian and Hindu to boot,
Jab zinda hain to har cheez galat, jab mare to har cheez sahi,
Life hi hain sabse badi galti, maut se badkar koi cheez nahin.
© Sunil Rajguru
Baa Baa, Black Sheep
Bah! Bah! Black money, have you any bribes?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
One for the minister, one for his aide,
and one for the official who needs it again and again.
Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush
Here we go round the Lokpal bush,
The Lokpal bush,
The Lokpal bush.
Here we go round the Lokpal bush,
On each and every morning.
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Catch the corrupt politician by the toe.
When he screams let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
Humpty Dumpty
Congress Credibility sat on a wall,
Congress Credibility had a great fall.
All the queen’s Sibals and all the queen’s Diggys,
Couldn’t put Credibility together again.
It’s Raining, It’s Pouring
It’s raining scams; it’s pouring scams.
Old man Manmohan is snoring.
He went to bed and bumped his head,
And he couldn’t get up in the morning.
Jack and Jill
Diggy and Kapil went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of supporters.
Diggy fell down and broke his crown,
And Kapil came tumbling after.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Hickory, dickory, dock,
The Baba ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The Baba jumped down,
Hickory, dickory, dock.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Hum bhi kabhi sub-editor the,
Kanimozhi bhi kabhi sub-editor thi!
Hum hain gareeb par azaad,
Woh hain Arabpati magar qaid…
Chalo, filaal yahi sahi!
Ghalib bhi shayar tha,
Kanimozhi bhi shayar kahalati,
Ghalib aur shayari dono gaye tel lene,
Ab paisa hi kavita hain…
Paisa hi nagma hain…
Paisa hi shayar hain…
Paisa hi shayar ki shayari…
Waise sabsa bada ameer to hain Mahatma Gandhi,
Lakhon nahin…
Crore-o nahin…
Arabo nahin…
Kharabo ke note-o ke dher pe muskura rahe hain,
Note gora ho ya kaala,
Paise ka hain bol baala!
This version by Sunil Rajguru
The Centre has Sonia Gandhi.
The South has Jayalalitha. The North has Mayawati and Shiela Dixit. The East has Mamata.
Next is West?
(Or is that Pratibha Patil who rose from the West, straight to Rashtrapati Bhavan?)
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the election hill,
To fetch a pail of voters,
Jack came down and broke his crown,
And Jill took all the honours.
Note: Replace Jack with Karuna, Buddha etc
Replace Jill with Jaya, Mamata etc
Little Jack Horner
Little Jack Karuna,
Sat in the corner,
Eating his telecom pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a 2G bomb,
And said ‘What a bad boy am I!
Rain rain go away
Women, women go away,
Don’t come again another day.
Buddha and Karuna want to play.
Little Bo-Peep
Little Buddha-Karuna have lost their voters,
And can’t tell where to find them;
Leave them till 2015, And they’ll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them.
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Election after election, day after day,
Men stuck, no breath no motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
Women, women, everywhere,
And all the men did shrink;
Women, women, everywhere,
Oldies Buddha and Karuna did sink.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Dedicated to the Pakistani government over their policy of pretending that terrorists do not exist in their land and due apologies to Bob Dylan and his immortal song Blowin in the wind…
How many false roads must a government walk down,
Before you can see through the lies?
Through how many lies must a truth have to sail,
Before its crushed into the land?
Yes, an’ how many times must the terror bullets fly,
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
How many years can a mountain of lies exist,
Before it is washed to the sea?
Yes, an’ how many years can some terrorists exist,
Before they’re not allowed to be free?
Yes, an’ how many times must a government turn its head,
An’ pretend that it just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, it is blowin’ in the wind,
An’ the answer is blowin’ in the wind.
How many times must a government look down,
Before it can stare truth in the eye?
Yes, an’ how many ears must the State have,
Before they can hear people cry?
Yes, an’ how many deaths will it take until they know,
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
(Original Song: Blowin in the wind
Singer: Bob Dylan
Year: 1963)
This spoof by Sunil Rajguru
When the Pakistan President met the ISI chief after the Osama killing, this is what they sang to each other…
(Please sing to the tune of Dono jawani ki masti main choor from the film Coolie)
Dono anaadi ke masti main choor,
Tera kasoor na mera kasoor.
Na toone Osama dekha, na maine Osama dekha,
Par Osama pakda gaya ho Rabba Rabba,
Incident ho gaya, disagreement ho gaya,
Permanent ho gaya Rabba Rabba.
Hum do anaadi na dekhi Abbottobad ki haveli,
Na dekha uski parchai,
(Par ye samundar main dal di ye kiski body?)
Na toone choppers dekhe, na maine choppers dekhe
Par Osama pakda gaya…
Lagta hamari matthi maari gayi thi,
Par India ki bhi kuch galti thi,
Mausam ki bhi kuch neeyat kharab thi,
Na toone khatra dekha, na maine khatra dekha,
Par Osama pakda gaya…
Arre nuksaan saara to bharna padega O bharna padega,
Ab humko Amrika ke saamne jhukna hi padega.
Na toone khabar leak ki, na maine khabar leak ki,
Par Osama pakda gaya…
(Original Song: Dono jawani ki masti
Film: Coolie
Year: 1983)
This spoof by Sunil Rajguru