Kejri Delhi dubaayega musings…

AAP should change name to BAAP.
So many AAP leaders/MLAs out on bail.
Bail Aam Aadmi Party.
They also think that they are everyone’s baap.
(Delhi will also need a bail-out with the way they are governing)

Piyush Goyal: Mere paas reforms hai, high productivity hai, rural electrification hai, solar augmentation hai, wind power hai. Tere paas kya hai?
Kejri: Mere paas danda hai!

Delhi ke bagal main UP ke bagal main Bihar ke bagal main WB.
Chaar Mukhya Mantri.
Chaar Modi Haters.
Chaar governance debacles.
Chaara Ghotala Guru.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#2016AssemblyPoll musings…

1952: CPI is Opposition in West Bengal.
1967: CPM single largest party.
1977: CPM comes to power.
2016: ‪#‎EndOfLeft‬ After 64 years, no power, no opposition!

Voting choices in West Bengal…
1. Dead fossil Congress.
2. Pathetic has-been CPM.
3. Abysmal ruling TMC.
4. Non-existent BJP.

Voting choices in Kerala…
1. Left behind Front.
2. United in corruption Front.
3. Building a Front for 2021.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#ExitPoll musings…

Exit polls.
Tamil Nadu: It could be Jaya or Karuna or hung House.
Assam: BJP could win big or scrape through. One puts Congress ahead.
Kerala: LF could win big or scrape through. One puts Congress ahead.
West Bengal: Mamata could scrape through or get a landslide.
And people actually pay money for these polls?

#‎ExitPolls‬ should be renamed ‪#‎ExitTrolls‬.
X may win.
X may lose.
It could be a hung House.
Sab kucch predict kar diya hai!

Exit Poll for 100 seats…
Party A: 50 seats. (± 50 seats)

The Romantic…
There’s a suitable girl for every boy!
The Indian pollster…
There’s a suitable prediction for every party!

The amazingly wide range that all Indian Opinion and Exit Polls predict nullifies the need to have such polls in the first place.
It’s a joke.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Trump is the enemy musings…

Q: What did Obama do for refugees in his 8 years?
A: Trump will build a wall.
Q: How did Obama help African Americans in 8 years?
A: Trump is a bigot.
Q: Did Obama really change America in any way in 8 years?
A: Trump will destroy America.
Q: Was Obama’s foreign policy a disaster?
A: Trump’s foreign policy will be a disaster.

Sanders supporters are typically doing what all Communist supporters do.
Verbal abuse, throwing of chairs, disruption…
They now have targeted both Trump and Hillary.

Had the super delegates backed Sanders, then he would have been ahead.
If Trump beats Hillary, then the Democrats only have themselves to blame.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kohli-RCB-IPL musings…

You need stitches!
Kohli: Wait. Let me first stitch up victory, then you can treat me.

Bruce ka bhai Koh Lee.
Cool-he.
K007hli.
SabKiLeLi.

Kohli to his bowlers…
Tum runs dete raho, main runs lete rahunga.

Kohli ko out karna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
Nau international teams aur saat IPL franchisees iska hal dhoond rahe hai.

Kohli singing…
Saare RCB bowlers ka bojh hum uthaate hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on various States that see Goonda Raj in India today…

Only in India is a murder measured by caste, religion, political allegiance, who’s CM and who’s PM.
Nobody really cares for the dead person.

In India living people are treated like shit.
Dead people are treated like gold.

One secular death is 100 times greater than 100 communal deaths.
When you get into such equations, you will never get a solution.

Crime rates spiked under Akhilesh, Mamata and Nitish’s latest term.
But since they are secular, don’t hold them accountable for anything.

Complete Freedom of Speech is granted only to Modi Haters.
Kejri, Mamata, Nitish, Kanhaiya etc have wisely realized this.

A jungle is beautiful.
In a jungle animals kill to survive not for fun.
Jungle Raj is wrong—it’s Goonda Raj. Anarchy.
And it’s all Nitish’s doing.
‪#‎Bihar‬

Modi good governance kare to jallaad.
Akhilesh/Nitish/Lalu/Mamata bad governance kare to laadla/laadli.
What about the people suffering under them?

3 most pressing issues for citizens of Delhi…
1. Modi’s degree.
2. Kanhaiya’s welfare.
3. Uttarakhand
Power, garbage, paani sab gaya tel lene.
Source: CM.

Nitish-Lalu-Mamata-Akhilesh-Siddu are destroying governance in their States.
No alleged intellectual-liberal-secular cares.
They are supported in fact.

Deaths in Bihar are rampant.
Some times they are covered by media.
Never are Nitish-Lalu pulled up for the same.
Two perfect politicians?

To me the biggest political mystery is how India’s worst roughest rudest Goonda Raj politician gets so much love, adoration and support.
‪#‎Lalu‬

Worse the politician, greater the support among intellectuals, seculars, media and liberals.
Good governance is dead boring.

Nitish knows that no matter how much he goofs up, he will be a darling for PM candidate by 2018 and hence Goonda Raj will continue unabated.

Bihar-WB-UP have already become more dangerous than J&K.
Who cares?

Everyone knew that Nitish would give bad governance with Lalu.
Everyone knows that Pappu will give bad governance when he becomes Prime Minister.

He’s planning a Sangh-mukt Bharat.
But the way it’s going we may end up with a Nitish-mukt Bihar.

1990 WTF1: Lalu elected!
1995 WTF2: Lalu re-elected!
2000 WTF3: Lalu re-elected again!
2015 WTF4: Lalu makes a comeback!

Fit case for dismissal of Bihar-UP-WB governments over law and order but this cannot even be discussed let alone implemented.

#‎BiharGoondaRaj‬
‪#‎UttarPradeshGoondaRaj‬
‪#‎WestBengalGoondaRaj‬
All accepted as normal now.

2004.
Left Front 60 LS seats.
Invincible in West Bengal.
Great time for Communist student politics.
2016.
Communist politics of any kind no longer a lifelong option.

The ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ philosophy…
Ek Sonia pe ek billion Indians kurbaan.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru