Pappu banayega #CongressMuktBharat…

In 1915, Mahatma “the first” Gandhi came to India and freed us from the Angrez.
A 100 years later Rahul “the last” Gandhi will free us from the Congrez.

Pappu and Modi are actually brothers in arms doing a joint operation called ‪#‎CongressMuktBharat‬
One from the inside and the other from the outside.

If Congress will win in 2019, India will be renamed Pappu Pradesh and the capital will be Vadra Nagar.

If the Congress had ruled continuously from 1947-2016, India would have been renamed Nehrudesh, the capital Indirabad and the moon would have been called Rajivchand.

You can go from Kasturba Gandhi Marg near Rajiv Chowk (within Indira Chowk) to Indira Gandhi Airport cutting the Mahatma Gandhi Ring Road for a flight to Rajiv Gandhi Airport and onto another Mahatma Gandhi Road there.
There are thousands of such route possibilities in India.

Online, Twitter wit finished off the Congress.
Offline, a bunch of Twits finished off the Congress.

In 2013 they declared Pappu as the future of Congress and proceeded to lose Rajasthan, Delhi, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, Haryana, Telangana, Kerala, Assam (and of course Lok Sabha polls) since then!

IND(ira & son)IA

Congress Lok Sabha seats…
Nehru: 364, 371, 361.
Indira: 283, 352, 189, 374.
Sympathy waves: 404, 244.
Rajiv: 197.
Rao: 140.
Kesri: 144.
Sonia: 114, 145.
MMS: 206.
Pappu: 44.
In 2019 they can have Priyanka lead to ensure at least 20 seats.

#‎CongressMuktBharat‬ was actually launched by DMK’s CN Annadurai in Tamil Nadu in 1967.
They kicked out the Congress permanently that year.

Congress was the king of MLAs-MLCs from 1947 (with a brief blip in 1977) till Modi fully hit them.
Now BJP leads Congress 1147 to 972.

Time to rename ‪#‎GrandOldParty‬ as the ‪#‎PappuParty‬.
‪#‎CongressSinking‬ ‪#‎DynastyDaysEnd‬

Nehru ek. Gandhi anek.
Things named after Nehru-Gandhi anek X 1000.

Paasa palating and how!

If the Congress comes back to power in 2019, it’ll be with a vengeance.
Forget Gandhi-Nehru, they may even start naming things after Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri Delhi dubaayega musings…

AAP should change name to BAAP.
So many AAP leaders/MLAs out on bail.
Bail Aam Aadmi Party.
They also think that they are everyone’s baap.
(Delhi will also need a bail-out with the way they are governing)

Piyush Goyal: Mere paas reforms hai, high productivity hai, rural electrification hai, solar augmentation hai, wind power hai. Tere paas kya hai?
Kejri: Mere paas danda hai!

Delhi ke bagal main UP ke bagal main Bihar ke bagal main WB.
Chaar Mukhya Mantri.
Chaar Modi Haters.
Chaar governance debacles.
Chaara Ghotala Guru.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#2016AssemblyPoll musings…

1952: CPI is Opposition in West Bengal.
1967: CPM single largest party.
1977: CPM comes to power.
2016: ‪#‎EndOfLeft‬ After 64 years, no power, no opposition!

Voting choices in West Bengal…
1. Dead fossil Congress.
2. Pathetic has-been CPM.
3. Abysmal ruling TMC.
4. Non-existent BJP.

Voting choices in Kerala…
1. Left behind Front.
2. United in corruption Front.
3. Building a Front for 2021.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#ExitPoll musings…

Exit polls.
Tamil Nadu: It could be Jaya or Karuna or hung House.
Assam: BJP could win big or scrape through. One puts Congress ahead.
Kerala: LF could win big or scrape through. One puts Congress ahead.
West Bengal: Mamata could scrape through or get a landslide.
And people actually pay money for these polls?

#‎ExitPolls‬ should be renamed ‪#‎ExitTrolls‬.
X may win.
X may lose.
It could be a hung House.
Sab kucch predict kar diya hai!

Exit Poll for 100 seats…
Party A: 50 seats. (± 50 seats)

The Romantic…
There’s a suitable girl for every boy!
The Indian pollster…
There’s a suitable prediction for every party!

The amazingly wide range that all Indian Opinion and Exit Polls predict nullifies the need to have such polls in the first place.
It’s a joke.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Trump is the enemy musings…

Q: What did Obama do for refugees in his 8 years?
A: Trump will build a wall.
Q: How did Obama help African Americans in 8 years?
A: Trump is a bigot.
Q: Did Obama really change America in any way in 8 years?
A: Trump will destroy America.
Q: Was Obama’s foreign policy a disaster?
A: Trump’s foreign policy will be a disaster.

Sanders supporters are typically doing what all Communist supporters do.
Verbal abuse, throwing of chairs, disruption…
They now have targeted both Trump and Hillary.

Had the super delegates backed Sanders, then he would have been ahead.
If Trump beats Hillary, then the Democrats only have themselves to blame.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kohli-RCB-IPL musings…

You need stitches!
Kohli: Wait. Let me first stitch up victory, then you can treat me.

Bruce ka bhai Koh Lee.

Kohli to his bowlers…
Tum runs dete raho, main runs lete rahunga.

Kohli ko out karna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
Nau international teams aur saat IPL franchisees iska hal dhoond rahe hai.

Kohli singing…
Saare RCB bowlers ka bojh hum uthaate hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru