Tag Archives: Indian National Congress

Raj karega Pappu

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Sonia to stay President.
Pappu to be Working President.
Priyanka may well become Non-working President.
Robert President-in-law.

In their twenties…
Motilal—Sole breadwinner of family.
Jawaharlal—Freedom fighter.
Sanjay—Virtual dictator of India.
Pappu—Still struggling in his forties.

If Congress goes from 45 to 90 seats in 2019, there will be hundreds of banner headlines all over of how miraculous Pappu doubles tally.

Congress is always ruthless.
Destroys its enemies.
BJP is always confused.
Tries to “Love Thy Enemy”.

100 years of dynasty…
1919: Motilal first Congress President.
2019: Pappu last Congress President after general elections.

Hearing from late 1990s…
Priyanka entering politics.
From early 2010s…
Pappu becoming Congress President.
At all times…
Sonia is unhappy.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress crisis musings…

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If you support Kejri, you are an honest sincere human being.
If you support Pappu you are neutral.
But if you support Modi you are communal, Fascist and irrational.

Congress workers renamed a toilet after Rishi Kapoor under the following scheme…
Rajiv Gandhi Shauchalya Ka Naam Badlo Yojana.

Modi approval ratings 2014-19…
Aam junta: 2/3rds approve.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬: 2/300ths approve.

The Congress Priyanka ‪#‎2019Polls‬ dilemma…
Get her in too soon and she gets exposed.
Get her late and voters already decided to give Modi second term.

A severe Congress reshuffle would mean…
Senior President: Sonia.
Senior Vice President: Rahul.
Junior Vice President: Priyanka.
Mascot: Vadra.

In 2009 they told us Sonia best bet for India.
In 2014 they told us Mera Pappu Mahaan.
In 2019 they’ll say Priyanka greatest ever.

Congress then…
How can Amitabh share the stage with a person like Modi!
Now…
How can Modi share the stage with a person like Amitabh!

I am ready to die for Sonia.
I pledge allegiance to Sonia.
Madamji at your feet.
Arundhati isn’t an independent and mobile republic, Sonia is!

Madhavrao Scindia-Rajesh Pilot left us.
Pranabda is Prez.
No really strong Chief Minister.
Let’s face it. Pappu’s still the best bet.

1885-1920: Indian National Congress
1920-48: Congress (Mahatma)
1948-66: Congress (Nehru)
1966-2014: Congress (Indira)
2014-__: Congress (Pappu)

Dare to think beyond Dynasty?
Sonia should retire. Who should take over?
Pappu!
But Pappu has failed.
Priyanka?
Kucch naya socho!
Vadra?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu banayega #CongressMuktBharat…

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In 1915, Mahatma “the first” Gandhi came to India and freed us from the Angrez.
A 100 years later Rahul “the last” Gandhi will free us from the Congrez.

Pappu and Modi are actually brothers in arms doing a joint operation called ‪#‎CongressMuktBharat‬
One from the inside and the other from the outside.

If Congress will win in 2019, India will be renamed Pappu Pradesh and the capital will be Vadra Nagar.

If the Congress had ruled continuously from 1947-2016, India would have been renamed Nehrudesh, the capital Indirabad and the moon would have been called Rajivchand.

You can go from Kasturba Gandhi Marg near Rajiv Chowk (within Indira Chowk) to Indira Gandhi Airport cutting the Mahatma Gandhi Ring Road for a flight to Rajiv Gandhi Airport and onto another Mahatma Gandhi Road there.
There are thousands of such route possibilities in India.

Online, Twitter wit finished off the Congress.
Offline, a bunch of Twits finished off the Congress.

In 2013 they declared Pappu as the future of Congress and proceeded to lose Rajasthan, Delhi, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, Haryana, Telangana, Kerala, Assam (and of course Lok Sabha polls) since then!

IND(ira & son)IA

Congress Lok Sabha seats…
Nehru: 364, 371, 361.
Indira: 283, 352, 189, 374.
Sympathy waves: 404, 244.
Rajiv: 197.
Rao: 140.
Kesri: 144.
Sonia: 114, 145.
MMS: 206.
Pappu: 44.
In 2019 they can have Priyanka lead to ensure at least 20 seats.

#‎CongressMuktBharat‬ was actually launched by DMK’s CN Annadurai in Tamil Nadu in 1967.
They kicked out the Congress permanently that year.

Congress was the king of MLAs-MLCs from 1947 (with a brief blip in 1977) till Modi fully hit them.
Now BJP leads Congress 1147 to 972.

Time to rename ‪#‎GrandOldParty‬ as the ‪#‎PappuParty‬.
‪#‎CongressSinking‬ ‪#‎DynastyDaysEnd‬

Nehru ek. Gandhi anek.
Things named after Nehru-Gandhi anek X 1000.

#‎SoniaPappuBail‬
‪#‎IshratRevelations‬
‪#‎AgustaScam‬
‪#‎PCinSoup‬
‪#‎25terroristsFreedDisclosure‬
‪#‎2002AccusedNabbed‬
Paasa palating and how!

If the Congress comes back to power in 2019, it’ll be with a vengeance.
Forget Gandhi-Nehru, they may even start naming things after Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kal Aaj aur Kal aur Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

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The Congress has been watching the movie Kal Aaj aur Kal (Yesterday Today and Tomorrow) for decades…

1960: Kal (Motilal) Aaj (Jawaharlal) aur Kal (Indira).
1980: Kal (Jawaharlal) Aaj (Indira) aur Kal (Rajiv).
2010: Kal (Rajiv) Aaj (Sonia) aur Kal (Pappu).

Right now they are hoping that Sonia will retire and Pappu will take over so that they can dream…
Kal (Sonia) Aaj (Pappu) aur Kal (Priyanka).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The fall of the mighty Congress…

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The Grand Old Party…

…yesterday…
Tilak: Swaraj is my birth right.
Bose: Jai Hind.
Gandhi: Quit India.
Nehru: Tryst with destiny.
Shastri: Jai Jawan Jai Kisan.
Indira: Garibi hatao.

…today…
Manmohan: #TheekHai
Pappu: #IveLostIt #NotHappening
Spokesperson 1: #SoniaIsUnhappy
Spokesperson 2: #HellYeah!
Khurshid: Tum napunsak ho!
Mani Shankar Aiyar: @#$%!!^&*()@#$^!!!
Vadra: #AreYouSerious?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Indian Nehru-Gandhi Congress (INC)…

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1947…
Mahatma Gandhi: I present to you the Indian National Congress c/o Jawaharlal Nehru!

1966…
INC, c/o Indira Gandhi, legacy of Jawaharlal Nehru.

1984…
Congress (Indira), c/o Rajiv Gandhi, legacy of Jawaharlal Nehru.

1998…
Congress (Indira), c/o Sonia Gandhi, legacy of Jawaharlal Nehru and Rajiv Gandhi.

2014…
First senior Congress leader: The party is in ruins, let’s take it over.
Second senior Congress leader: I’m not so sure. I think the family’s very genetic sequence has got merged with that of the party.
First leader: Then let’s get Priyanka. If that fails, move to the next generation.
Second leader: Yeah, great idea!

2024…
Congress (Indira), c/o 6th generation of the Dynasty, legacy of Jawaharlal Nehru, Rajiv Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi and Priyanka Vadra.

© Sunil Rajguru