Monthly Archives: October 2014

Nehruvian Consensus, secular, liberal and other true definitions for India…

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Secular: A person who is communal but covers it up by calling himself secular and all others communal a hundred times a day.

Liberal: A person who is liberal in the use of propaganda, narrow non-inclusive talk and abusive language.

Intellectual: A person who thinks he is intelligent but is in fact the laughing stock among common citizens.

Leftist: A communist who unflinchingly loves Mao and Stalin and still can claim in the same breath that certain democratically elected leaders are vile dictators.

Historian: A person who believes that history is true only if it is coloured in red.

Nehruvian Consensus: A name given to the dictatorial Congress ecosystem consisting of Leftists, secularists, liberals, intellectuals and historians (as mentioned above).

Fascist: Anything which is not part of the Nehruvian Consensus (as mentioned above).

Troll: Anyone who even mildly disagrees with your opinion.

Bias: Anything that even leans moderately Right. Leaning even far Left continues to be firmly in the realms of neutral territory. Ref: Nehruvian Consensus.

Twitter: The hotbed of right-wing Fascists, the new underground.

Pogrom/genocide: Any major riot left after removing the Nellie Massacre, the 1984 anti-Sikh riots, all other major riots in Congress-ruled States like 1969, 1980, 1989 and 1991-92.

These definitions by Sunil Rajguru

Indo-Pak Nobel Peace Prize musings…

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(Reference: 2014 Nobel Peace Prize)

Too young to vote.
Too young to marry.
Old enough to get a Nobel Prize.
‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

Who won the Nobel Prize?
Nobel Committee: Indo-Pak Peace. Hindu-Muslim bhai bhai.

War and Peace…
War at the Indo-Pak border.
Peace Prize for two Indo-Pak citizens.
‪#‎LoC‬ ‪#‎Satyarthi‬ ‪#‎Malala‬

Fact of the day…
This is the first time that an Indian-born Indian resident citizen has won the Nobel Prize after 1930.

3 Indians won the Bharat Ratna for winning the Nobel Prize.
‪#‎CVRaman‬ ‪#‎MotherTeresa‬ ‪#‎AmartyaSen‬
Is Kailash Satyarthi next?

So now Pakistan shares an uneasy relationship with all its Nobel Laureates.
‪#‎AbdusSalam‬ ‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The media scene—Then and now…

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news-426892_640NEWS…
Then: North East West South.
Now: Never-Ending Wanton Sensationalism.

Breaking news…
Then: Reserved only for big stories.
Now: Each and every story, big or small, will first appear as breaking news.

Analysis…
Then: In newspapers, think a lot, write later.
Now: In TVs, scream first, think later.

Greetings…
Then: To colleague, “Aap kaise ho?”
Now: To everyone, “Aap ko kaisa lag raha hai?”

Congress sources…
Then: Gave part of the story. Checked and rechecked.
Now: Give the full story. Taken verbatim.

BJP sources…
Then: They ran after you.
Now: You run after them.

Famous journalists…
Then: Got the top stories in town.
Now: Are the top stories.
(#Tejpal #Rajdeep etc)

Journalism…
Then: Service to the nation.
Now: Service to self, political party, business house… anything but the nation.

Expert…
Then: Master of one trade.
Now: Barely a Jack, but of all trades.

Bias…
Then: Sometimes visible, sometimes not.
Now: Extra-large and extreme.

Editors…
Then: Editors.
Now: Managers.

Conflict of interest…
Then: Taken seriously.
Now: No conflict. Only (personal) interest.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pakistan’s problems with India

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Prime Minister Bilawal Bhutto of Pakistan + Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi of India = Peace.
(The two countries would be too busy laughing 24X7 to fight!)

Zulfikar Ali Bhutto said that Pakistan would wage a 1000-year war with India.
The problem is that with the way it’s going, Pakistan may not even celebrate their 100-year anniversary!

Pakistan’s past is a mess.
Pakistan’s present is a mess.
Bilawal and Imran have proved that Pakistan’s future will be a mess too.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

State governments of India and their tales…

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The West Bengal story…
Congress: Bad.
CPM: Worse.
TMC: Worst.

The Bihar story…
Congress: Bad.
RJD: Worst.
JDU: Hmmm, we’ll take worse then.

The UP story…
Congress: Bad.
BJP: Worse.
BSP: Even worse.
SP: Worst.

The Tamil Nadu story…
Alternating Current: DMK/ADMK.

The Telangana story…
TRS: Beginning with the worst!

The Jammu & Kashmir story…
1947: Abdullah.
1982: Son Abdullah.
2014: Grandson Abdullah.

The Maharashtra story…
Congress till I die!
(OK, I’m dead, maybe now I’ll look to Modi.)

The Odisha story…
What’s in a name? Plenty, if you’re a Patnaik.
Biju Patnaik: 7 years as CM.
Janaki Patnaik: 13 years as CM.
Naveen Patnaik: 19 years as CM by 2019.

The Kerala story…
Alternating Current: UDF/LDF.

The Rajasthan story…
Alternating Current: Congress/BJP.

© Sunil Rajguru

India’s Left-Right debate…

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Less than 1% of Indians are Communists, yet they’ve hijacked 99% discourse.
80% Indians are Hindus and yet any mildly Hindu talk is attacked as being communal.

The truth of everything pre-2014…
Left-wing Prime Minister launches Left-wing public project in Left-wing State, while Left-wing activists, NGOs, intellectuals and celebrities cheer, as reported by a Left-wing editor.

If there are 10 Left-wing commentators and one Right-wing one, then the 10 will be introduced as neutral and the one will be emphasized as being Right-wing.

All the Modi Haters have finally found respectability.
Now they proudly call themselves anti-establishment.

© Sunil Rajguru