No story!
No problem, just fabricate…
Priyanka to join politics?
Next day…
Priyanka rubbishes rumours of her joining politics.
Final analysis: Two stories for the price of none!
The headline that never goes away…
1998: Will Priyanka join politics?
1999: Will Priyanka join politics?
2004: Will Priyanka join politics?
2009: Will Priyanka join politics?
2014: Will Priyanka join politics?
2019: Will Priyanka join politics?
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Maybe…
US troops to pull out of Afghanistan.
Obama: Why don’t you stop over at Iraq on your way back?
1980s: Iran contra affair.
1990s: Gulf War.
2000s: Iraq invasion.
2010s: Air strikes.
US to Iraq: Influencing your life every decade.
If you’re a good ally of the US (like Pakistan) or an enemy (like Iraq), you face ruin.
Better to be ambivalent like China and India and prosper.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
If you become the first person in the history of the world to climb Mount Everest, you get India’s third highest award, the Padma Bhushan.
(Tenzing Norgay)
If you lead your army to the most decisive war in your country’s history and liberate a brand new country, you get India’s second highest award, the Padma Vibhushan.
(Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw)
Wow, that means all the people who won India’s highest award, the Bharat Ratna, must be the greatest people who ever walked this Earth!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Rahul Gandhi: Fashion model.
Priyanka Vadra: Brand Ambassador to the real estate industry.
Sonia Gandhi: Permanent Ambassador to Italy.
Digvijay Singh: Conspiracy theory TV host.
Shashi Tharoor: Sonia’s official biographer.
Natwar Singh: Regular author, challenger to Chetan Bhagat.
Sushil Kumar Shinde: Successor to Ahmed Patel.
Kapil Sibal: Back to Full-time lawyer defending umpteen Congress scams.
Manish Tewari: Anchor of TV channel Congress Now challenging Arnab.
Abhishek Manu Singhvi: TV reality show participant.
Mani Shankar Aiyar: Rajiv Gandhi’s official biographer, series of many books.
Jairam Ramesh: Pappu’s official biographer.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Pappugiri: Frivolous part-time politics which has more sound than substance.
Soniagiri: Claiming great power with zero responsibility.
Manmohangiri: Maungiri.
Just one man’s voice heard in Parliament: Pappu.
Congressman: True, unlike our party, where just one woman’s voice is heard.
President for a whopping 16 years and goodness knows for how much longer.
They should just rename it to Congress (Sonia).
The Pappu model…
Give speech.
Go on leave.
Give interview.
Go on leave.
Attend meeting.
Go on leave.
Tear up paper.
Go on leave.
Talk empowerment.
Go on leave.
Shout in Lok Sabha…
© Sunil Rajguru
When Half Girlfriend will be released in Bangalore, it will be called By Two Girlfriend.
In Mumbai it will be called Cutting Girlfriend.
Chetan Bhagat’s books….
0.5. Girlfriend.
1. Night at a Call Centre.
2. States.
3. Mistakes of my Life.
4 (Coming Soon).
5. Point Someone.
6, 7, 8, 9, ………….. 2020 Revolution.
In the sequel to Half Girlfriend, the two will get married and it will be called Better Half.
If Chetan Bhagat wrote books on Pappu’s life…
Zero Point No-one.
One Night at a Day Care Centre.
2 States of His Mind: Dumb and Dumber.
The One Mistake of Sonia’s Political Life.
Revolution in 2020 (Post loss in 2019).
Half President.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru