Monthly Archives: September 2012

If Manmohan did a Churchill…

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We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Cyberspace, we shall fight with the national and global media, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in censorship, we shall defend our arrogance, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight with Time magazine, we shall fight with the Washington Post, we shall fight with Facebook and with Twitter, we shall fight all the blogs; we shall never surrender…
—Manmohan Singh, for UPA2.

We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender…
—Winston Churchill, for World War 2.

Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Secret diary of a Congress poll strategy planner…

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SC/ST vote: Quota in promotions.

Minority vote: Attack BJP and RSS with greater effort.

Rural vote: NREGA and attempted Food Bill.

Poverty class vote: Mobiles for BPLs.

Women vote: Sonia’s charisma is enough.

Youth vote: Rahul Gandhi hain na!

Elderly vote: They are totally used to Congress by now.

Rest of the voters: You have been effectively reduced to a minority and can well take a hike!

UPA3 Coming Soon!

© Sunil Rajguru

UPA and Scams

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· While most Indians are malnourished, our politicians are maal-nourished.

· Before most Indians had even heard of the word Thorium, our great politicians had already milked it for another scam.

· Rs 1.86 lakh crore Coalgate ko zameen nigal gayi aur Rs 1.76 lakh crore 2G scam ko aasmaan kha gaya.

· Two things are infinite: the universe and UPA scams; and I’m not sure about the universe!—Albert Scamstein.

· The 2014 Central Government will form a Scam Ministry just to manage all the scams.

· Records are meant to be broken—Anonymous.
Scam amount records are meant to be broken—UPA.

· They should rename them… Ministry of Coalgate, Ministry of 2G, Ministry of Thorium, Bofors Ministry, Public Distribution Scam, Prime Ministry of Ghotala…

· With Thorium scam, UPA gets really critical.
White money has truly been nuked.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress ki Mahabharat…

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The Government is under siege and believes it is fighting a Mahabharat…

Manmohan is Dhritrashtra and cannot see or do anything.

Congress treats Sonia like Krishna: Someone of divine origin whose counsel cannot be wrong.

In Cyberspace, Kapil Sibal thinks he’s Bheem and can flatten anyone there.

Diggy Raja thinks he’s Yudhistir and hence incapable of telling a lie.

Congress spokespersons think they are Arjuns and their brilliant verbal arrows always hit the target precisely.

Rahul thinks he’s Bheeshma and won’t marry or stake his claim for the throne.

According to them the Kauravas are 1. BJP, 2. Civil Society, 3. CAG, 4. Swamy, 5. Baba Ramdev…….. 100. YSR.

For the common citizens, it’s really a Mahascambharat and the Congress is Abhimanyu, getting caught in its own scam chakravyuha.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Oppose Congress corruption…

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…in front of Diggy Raja: You are RSS!

…in Cyberspace: That’s a hate crime!

…in Parliament: The BJP’s corrupt too!

…in front of Congress spokespersons: There is no corruption!

…in a nationwide agitation: You’re a criminal, off to Tihar!

…in a CAG report: The author has political ambitions!

…in court: The courts can’t decide policy!

…in front of the CBI: Err, isn’t CBI=Congress Bureau of Investigation?

…in mainstream media: Bias! Katju, where are you?

© Sunil Rajguru