Why are the Big 3 like delicious Baingan ka bharta?

The original Baingan ka bharta joke…

One wife said to another, my husband is so strange!
On Monday I gave him Baingan ka bharta and he couldn’t stop praising how delicious it was.
On Tuesday I gave him Baingan ka bharta and he said it was good.
On Wednesday I gave him Baingan ka bharta and he smiled but said nothing.
On Thursday I gave him Baingan ka bharta and he ate it quietly.
On Friday I gave him Baingan ka bharta and he glared at me non-stop.
On Saturday I gave him Baingan ka bharta and he stormed off without eating it.
On Sunday I gave him Baingan ka bharta and he actually threw it at my face!

One BCCI selector said to another, these Indian fans are so strange!

When we sent the Big 3 to the tour of Australia in 2003-04, the fans called them the greatest!
When we sent the Big 3 to the tour of England in 2007, the fans said very good.
When we sent the Big 3 to the tour of Australia in 2007-08, some fans started grumbling.
When we sent the Big 3 to the tour of England in 2011, the fans started screaming and shouting!
When we played the Big 3 in the home tour of 2011, the fans actually started asking why we were playing them.
When we are persisting with the Big 3 in the tour of Australia in 2011-12, the fans actually want all 3 to be sacked!!!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Overheard 12…

Prime Minister: Army chief problems… Supreme Courts raps… Corruption charges… Maybe a new President this year… Say it one more time: I am an honest and independent head of state… Nobody can remote control me… Running a coalition government is tough…
Errr… who’s speaking: Manmohan Singh or Yousaf Raza Gilani?

∙ One Indian player to another: OK, now Indian Test cricket is in serious trouble.
Our ad endorsement rates are falling!

∙ Umpire: This is your last warning if you don’t go faster, then you could face a one-match ban.
Captain (to himself): Good idea to get out of this dratted losing streak. As it is the board will never give me rest.
(To his bowlers): OK guys, forget the over rate, wickets are important!

∙ Indian Board official: Right, we are here to discuss Indian Test cricket’s biggest crisis in decades. Matches are getting over in just 3-4 days! We are losing so much revenue in terms of telecast days!

© Sunil Rajguru

Some more UPA musings…

UPA1: Left left.
UPA2: Mamatata?

The Perfect Sibal Society
The NDA found a lot of things offensive.
The UPA finds even more things offensive.
Diggy Raja finds the very existence of RSS & Anna offensive.
The minorities may find this offensive and the majority may find that offensive.
I find you offensive and you find me offensive.
Let’s go ahead and remove everything that anyone finds remotely offensive and very soon Cyberspace will become Emptyspace (or let’s call it Sibalspace or is it actually Emptyspace between his ears?)

What a fighter!
You are fighting the CPM?
Yes, we are fighting Left…
You are fighting the BJP & RSS too?
Yes, we are fighting Left, Right…
And you are fighting your own cabinet, bureaucrats, Army chief and even your own allies?
Yes, we are fighting Left, Right and Centre.

© Sunil Rajguru

Where are we without the Internet?

∙ When are you submitting your paper/essay/article/column/backrounder?
Please give me a 24-hour extension, Wikipedia is off today!

∙ If the Government bans Google…
…will industries like the media and academia come crashing down?

∙ If the Government bans Facebook…
…will a few million people in India feel empty, lifeless and go into depression?
Without social networking, will we become more anti-social?

∙ If the access to the Internet is cut off…
…will we feel badly stuck in the sticky web of the offline world?

© Sunil Rajguru

Anhoni ko Dhoni kar de Dhoni ko anhoni …

India are down 0-7 for Tests on foreign soil.
Please sing to the tune of Anhoni ko honi kar de from the Bollywood film Amar Akbar Anthony…

Anhoni ko Dhoni kar de Dhoni ko anhoni,
Anhoni ko Dhoni kar de Dhoni ko anhoni,
Ek jagah jab jama ho teeno… Tendlya, Laxman aur Dravid,
Anhoni ko Dhoni kar de Dhoni ko anhoni…

Ek wicket se bhale do, do wickets se bhale teen,
Technique-himmat saath nahi, records hai victories nahi,
Arre kuch darne ki baat nahi,
Ye Tests ki raina hai koi gam ki ODI raat nahi,
Yaaro hanso bana rakhi hai kyo ye surat roni…
Ek jagah jab jama ho saare…

Ek wicket se bhale do wicket, do se bhale teen (Count till 10),
India ke openers ko, is team ke bowlers ko,
Koi hope nahin hai… no… no… no…
Kaise baat matlab ki samajhaau deewaano ko,
Sapan salone le ke aayi hai ye raat saloni,
Ek jagah jab jama ho saare gyaarah members Indian team ke…

(Original song: Anhoni ko honi kar de.
Film: Amar Akbar Anthony.
Year: 1977)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru