The Quit India Movemement 2011

BJP to Manmohan: Quit PM’s post. You’ve lost it.
RSS to Advani: Quit PM candidature. You never had it!

Opponents to BSY: Quit politics and stay in jail.
Karuna to Kanimozhi: Quit jail and return to politics!

Bajaj to Mallya: Quit the airline industry. No bailout for you.
Environmentalists to Bajaj: Quit polluting India!

Swamy to Chidambaram: Quit the ministry. You’re tainted.
Politicians to Swamy: Quit troubling all of us all the time!

Congress workers to Rahul: Quit this indecision and lead the country.
Opponents to Rahul: Lead the country? Quit India first!

Team Anna to Government: Quit if you can’t pass Lokpal.
Lokpal to Itself: If anyone will Quit, I know it’ll be me!

Modi to Detractors: Quit troubling me over Godhra.
Detractors to Modi: Quit over Godhra!

RSS to Diggy Raja: Quit maligning us.
Diggy Raja to RSS: Quit your very existence!

Omar to Army: Quit Kashmir.
Army to Omar: Only after the last militant has Quit!

© Sunil Rajguru

A government of extremes…

Sonia kam bolti hain aur baaki sab kuch jyaada hi,

Manmohan ki umar ab jyaada lagti aur Rahul ki kam,

Prices are continuously soaring and allies’ trust is crashing,

There’s inflation in the economy, but a recession in credibility,

Congress is 54 short of majority, but behaves as if it’s 54 in excess,

Rs 1.76 lakh crore bahut kam hai, par Team Anna Hazare ke hazaron kuch jyaada hi,

2014 bahut door hai aur 2011 ko jhelna bahut hi mushkil!

© Sunil Rajguru

Main politician to nahin…

(Original Lyrics: Main shaayar to nahin, magar ae haseen jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko shaayari aa gayi…
Song: Main shayar to nahin. Film: Bobby. Year: 1973.)

Now Kanimozhi was a shaayar to begin with. So how did she enter politics?
Her take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen rokda jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Manmohan’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae kambakht Raja ko jabse dekha, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Anna’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen andolan aur mauka jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Diggy Raja’s take…
Main spokesperson to nahin, magar ae Congress bachane ka bhoot ka virus jab se dimaag main ghusa, mujhko verbal diarrhoea aa gayi…

Rahul…
Main politician to nahin, magar kya karu, mere DNA main hain, politics aaye ya na aaye, ek din to pradhan mantra ban-na hi padega! Meri duvidha samjha karo bhai log!

Advani…
Main pradhan mantri to nahin, magar marte dum tak pradhan mantrigiri jaayegi nahin…

Maya…
Ye koi maya to nahin, par jabse maine pradhan mantri ki kursi ko dekha, aur kuch dikhai deta hi nahin…

Sonia…
Na main politician hu, na main shaayar hu, bus ek behind the scenes player hu…

Chidambaram…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae Subramanian Swamy ko jab se dekha, lagta hai ki bachi kuchi politics bhi chali jaayegi…

Pawar…
Main politician to nahin, main billionaire bhi nahin, main BCCI main bhi koi nahin, in fact main kuch bhi nahin…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Oh Lord! We are thankful for…

OK, the Congress Government is under a lot of flak and everything seems to be going totally wrong.

However, it has still given us many things to be thankful for…

(Don’t they tell us to count our blessings?)

Dear Sonia Gandhi,
Thank you for not becoming Prime Minister in 2004, a move that would have turned the country’s top post into a 24X7 tamasha by your belligerent detractors.
Thanks for engaging Civil Society in the decision making process even though, like RTI, it has turned totally against you in the end.

Dear Manmohan Singh,
Thank you for being an honest and clean head of state in this cesspool of corruption, even though you couldn’t do anything about it, or maybe you have, merely by letting it out in the open.
Thanks for never ever have used bad, unparliamentary or abusive language, like many other so called great politicians and for always conducting yourself with dignity and grace.
Thanks for your concern over nuclear energy.
Who knows, it may yet become India’s best idea in 20-30 years!

Dear Kapil Sibal,
Thank you for getting those pesky telecallers off my back!
Thank you for at least trying for a badly needed major educational reform in this country.
If you were a little less arrogant, then people might actually notice your many achievements.

Dear Jairam Ramesh,
Thanks for scuttling a lot of schemes that would have otherwise destroyed the environment and at least trying sincerely for much needed land reforms in the country.

Dear Ajay Maken,
Thank you for taking on rich powers like the BCCI and not giving tax rebates to even richer sports like F1.

Dear Mani Shankar Aiyar,
Thank you for being the biggest critic of your own government.

Dear Digvijay Singh,
Thank you for providing so much fodder to cartoonists and humour writers.
Without you, India would be a much less interesting place than it is now.

Dear Rahul Gandhi,
Thank you for not becoming Prime Minister… yet. You will definitely get that post one day, it is your birth right, but you haven’t earned it… yet.

Dear Congress,
Thank you for giving this country political stability in the last seven years despite having just 27% seats in the Lok Sabha from 2004-09 and 38% thereafter.

Yours Gratefully,
Sunil Rajguru

Absolutely faaltu coincidences

Notice how major players in the UPA have the letters A-N-N-A in them?

(Arthath, in sab main ANNA hain!)

soNiA gANdhi

mANmohAN singh

pAlaNiappAN chidambaram

Ak ANtoNy

ANANd sharma

jayANthi NAtarajan

m kAruNANidhi

Others don’t know how to spell ANNA and do so with only three letters A-N-A, so do they require a bit of name-changing numerology magic?

(Arthath, in sab main sirf thoda ANNA (barah ANA?) hain!)

prANAb mukherjee

sAlmNA khurshid

mANish tiwAri

Abhishek mANu singhvi

reNukA chowdAry

AmbikA soNi

Ajay mAkaN

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Old Manmohan had a farm…

(Please sing to the tune of “Old MacDonald had a farm”)

Old Manmohan had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o,
And on that farm he had some Telecos, ee-i-ee-i-o,
With a scam scam here and a scam there,
Here a scam, there a scam, everywhere a scam scam,
Old Manmohan had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o.

Old Manmohan had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o,
And on that farm he had some Games, ee-i-ee-i-o,
With a scam scam here and a scam there,
Here a scam, there a scam, everywhere a scam scam,
Old Manmohan had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o.

Old Manmohan had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o,
And on that farm he had some Land, ee-i-ee-i-o,
With a scam scam here and a scam there,
Here a scam, there a scam, everywhere a scam scam,
Old Manmohan had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o.

(Funny how everything makes the same ole sound in clean and honest Manmohan’s beleagured farm!)

This version by Sunil Rajguru