General cricketing musings…

Champs for 10 years and counting…
2007-09—T20 World Champs.
2009-11—Test World Champs.
2011-15—ODI World Champs.
2013-17—Defenders of Champions Trophy.
Shortest T20 Champions 2009-10: 329 days.
Shortest Test champions in 2016: 42 days.

Have you seen the Rocky series?
Sir Ravindra Jadeja: No I am busy creating the Ronchi series.
There’s already Ronchi 1, 2, 3 and 4.
I am looking forward to Ronchi 5 in the next match.

When he comes in to bat.
When he takes a wicket.

ICC Test No. 1 rankings began in 2003.
Ganguly-Dravid-Kumble couldn’t take us past No. 3.
Now both Dhoni and Kohli have taken us to No. 1.

Our bowlers carry our #SurgicalStrikes against Kiwi batting and Pakistan loses the ICC Test rankings No. 1 battle to India.
MS Dhoni Biopic makes Rs 66 crore in first weekend.
All I see is Dhoni and 6 6. Makes perfect sense!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#IndVsNZ #EdenGardens: Greatest batting line-up ever…

Here’s looking at the highest scores of all 11 batsmen in the second Test between India and New Zealand at Eden Gardens…

1. Shikhar Dhawn 187.
2. Murali Vijay 167.
3. Cheteshwar Pujara 206*.
4. Virat Kohli 200.
5. Ajinkya Rahane 147.
6. Rohit Sharma 177.
7. Ravichandran Ashwin 124.
8. Wriddhiman Saha 104.
9. Ravindra Jadeja 68.
10. Bhuvneshwar Kumar 63*.
11. Mohammed Shami 51*.

That means a whopping 8 have scored a century and the remaining 3 have scored a century.

The number 9 batsman is also the only Indian to have three first class triple centuries including 2 in a month.
Gautam Gambhir with 4000 Test runs is on the bench and injured KL Rahul got 3 centuries in his first 6 Tests including a 158.
Pujara with four 150+ scores finds himself in and out of the team.

By Sunil Rajguru

Yet another brand new innings for Sidhu the Great

Cricketer turned Commentator turned Convict turned Comedy Show Star turned Chief Minister?

Kevin Pietersen played the switch hit on the field.
Right to Left.
Sidhu played the switch hit off the field.
Right to Left = BJP to AAP.

Strokeless Wonder-Palm Grove Hitter.
Cricketer-Commentator (English-Hindi).
Reality Show Judge-Reality Convict.
Lok Sabha-Rajya Sabha.

For every State the BJP gains, it loses an MP.
Not a bad bargain actually.

Sir are you Out of the BJP?
Sidhu: Please wait for the decision of the Third Umpire.
‪#‎AAP‬ ‪#‎PunjabPolls‬

The BJP just lost Punjab.
(But then they never really had it in the first place)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#2016T20WorldCup musings

Glory days of West Indies cricket of the 1970s-80s in ODIs and Tests won’t return, but they’ve come back at least in international T20s!

Dhoni has been doing unconventional things for 9 years.
With that he’s won 3 ICC Trophies and 2 Asia Cups.
So you can’t say that he’s gone wrong suddenly.

Sehwag didn’t get his 3rd Test triple.
Dhoni isn’t getting his 3rd World Cup.
But Rohit will get his 3rd ODI double.

All 4 World Cups under Congress Prime Ministers.

1983 World Cup final…
183 in 60 overs enough with West Indies.
2016 World Cup semi-final…
192 in 20 overs not enough with West Indies.

1979—Eng-WI final.
Since then from 1983-2015 all World Cup (ODI + T20) finals (14 in all) had at least one team from Australasia
Full circle…
2016—Eng-WI final.

Greatest fighter: Bruce Lee.
Greatest villain: Christopher Lee.
Greatest cricketer: Virat Koh Lee.

Every day is not a Sunday.
Every day is an MC-BC chakka-chauka maaro day.

Kohli ko neend main se utha ke bat thama do to fir bhi kisiko bhi 6 maarega.

The England riddle…
Great Test and T20 team.
Rubbish ODI team.

Sachin was declared a better batsman than Gavaskar.
ODIs had a great role in that.
Kohli will surpass Sachin.
iT20s will ensure that.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Virat “King Kohli” musings…

cricket-players-2027502_640Foreign intellectuals will soon start an ‪#‎AwardWapsiCampaign‬ to protest Kohli’s Rising Intolerance against all bowlers in all formats.

When it comes to Kohli, MC-BC now stands for…
Master Chaser-Boss of the Chase.

Kohli ko chase main harana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
Iska hal gaayra mulko ki coaching departments khoj kar rahi hai.

Q: What do you think of ‪#‎GharWapsi‬?
Kohli: Yes I love it. First we sent the Pakistanis home and then the Aussies. I want to do the same with the Windies.

Phone call: Can I speak to xyz Indian batsman?
Answer: Woh abhi batting pe gaye hai. Noodles chadha do. Boil ho jaayenge, tab tak wapis aa jaayenge.
Phone call: Can I speak to Kohli?
Answer: Woh abhi batting karne gaye hai. Kucch ghante baad jab India ki jeet ke phatake phootenge, matlab woh free ho gaye. Tab call karna.

Kohli to Australia…
Aisa hai bhai, aap logon ne ODI World Cups kuch had se jyaada hi jeete hai. Ab hum tumhe T20 World Cups nahin jeetne denge.

Rohit: Poori innings ya to main kheloonga ya tu.
Kohli: Chal hat. Is maamle main, main thoda selfish hu.

Australia in first 4 overs = 53 runs.
India in last 4.1 overs = 59 runs.
Tu great starter, to main greater finisher.
—Sri Sri Kohli Baba.

And Dhoni too…

Ashes to ashes,
And dust to dust,
If Kohli don’t get you,
Dhoni must.

Umpire: Line belongs to me.
Dhoni: Last over belongs to me.
Kohli: BC. MC. Poora inning mera.

Indian batting…
Body: Kohli.
Tail: Dhoni.
Yaane ki Indian batting ki umar hai itni sanam,
Kohli se shuru aur Dhoni se khatam.

Brangelina se dumdaar jodi hai Dhonikohli.

Smith wins the toss, elects to bat. Dhoni, you disappointed.
Dhoni: Thanks Steve! Kohli will anchor the chase and I’ll hit the winning shot.

Steve Waugh could do mental disintegration over a period of five days.
MS Dhoni can do that in one ball.

Chase main koi double century bhi maarega phir bhi winning shot main hi maarunga.
—Sri Sri Dhoni Baba.

Lethal jodi…
Kohli takes single and Dhoni comes on strike.
Bowler apna sar patakta hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

MS Dhoni musings…

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!
—Bollywood ka Baadshah.
Last over abhi baaki hai mere dost!
—Cricket ka Baadshah.

March schedule…
19th: Bura na maano, Kohli hain.
23rd: Bura na maano, Dhoni hain.
24th: Bura na maano, Holi hain.
‪#‎2016T20WC‬ ‪#‎HappyHoli‬

Dhoni: Aaj kuch toofani karte hai!
Kohli: Last ball Victory 6?
Dhoni: Yaar woh bahut kar chuka hu.
How about last ball Victory Run Out?

The film “M.S. Dhoni: The Untold Story” should actually be called “Jo Jeeta Wohi Mahendra”.

Andheri raat ke baad teen din ki chandni…
Overs 1-19.3: Pathetic fielding.
19.4: Good catch.
19.5: Great catch.
19.6: Brilliant run out.

Before India used to panic.
Now Dhoni induces panic in the opposition.

Hardik Patel ko mila jail.
Hardik Pandya ne diya Team India ko bail.
‪#‎IndVsBan‬ ‪#‎2016T20WC‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru