Test, then ODI, then T20, then T10, then F5—finally 1Ball1Ball cricket?

.1.1 Cricket (1-Ball cricket)
From Imaginopedia, the free encyclopaedia

Point One Point One Cricket or .1.1 Cricket (also called derogatorily as POPO Cricket and Pappu Cricket) is a form of cricket, originally introduced in Jhumri Tilaiya for a professional inter-club competition by the New Jharkhand Board of Control of Cricket in 2027.

Point One Point One Cricket involves two teams where each has only one ball to bowl in an entire innings. One ball is 0.1 overs and hence the name .1.1 Cricket.

1 History

1.1 Origins

.1.1 Cricket resulted as a successive natural shortening of the game from the five-day Test format. After One Day Internationals, Twenty20s gained popularity. Then came the age of T10s, F5s and ultimately One1s, where each team bowls only one over in an innings.

But the spectators wanted something more exciting than the One1s, something shorter and more instant. That’s how .1.1 Cricket was born.

In the historic Jhumri Tilaiya match, when there was rain-interruption after the bowling of just one ball in a One1 match, the organizers decided that the opposition too would bowl just one ball for a result. The positive response of the spectators followed by the popularity of the .1.1 Premier League led to international .1.1s.

1.2 The .1.1 Cricket World Cup

64 countries participate in the .1.1 Cricket World Cup that takes place every year during the weekend around April 24, the birthday of God and Grand Master, Nobel Laureate and Bharat Ratna Sachin Tendulkar, who holds all the batting records of the largest formats of the game (the now extinct Tests and ODIs).

Matches begin early Saturday morning when the first round takes place. The 64 teams play 32 matches in a direct knockout format. The winning 32 teams make it to the second round, followed by 16 in the pre-quarters and eight in the quarter-finals and so on.

The new champions are crowned by Sunday late night, in the shortest world cup tournament on the planet. The only problem is that the city hosting the event comes to a standstill given the amount of teams and the volume of cricket packed into a single weekend.

1.3 .1.1 Cricket Worldwide

The new format became a rage all over the world and its popularity surpassed that of even football. Currently all the 200 odd nations of the world play .1.1 Cricket and there are flourishing domestic and continental leagues.

“Even Shorter Than Twitter” is a popular slogan of .1.1 Cricket aficionados.

1.4 Influence on cricket

Test cricket was phased out in 2017 and ODIs followed soon after in 2019. Empty stadiums in the 2024 T10 World Cup led to the Great Cricketing Financial Crisis of 2025, something which was revived by .1.1 Cricket.

In fact, F5 matches have been called the “New Tests”, because spectators call it a “test” of their nerves and patience to actually sit for five complete overs an innings in a stadium.

One1s, however are surviving for they serve the connoisseurs of the game and are called an actual test of skills and technique as against the total slam-bam attitude of.1.1 Cricket.

1.4 Criticism

.1.1 Cricket has come in for a lot of criticism. For one, the general level of health and fitness has come down among cricketers, who spend much more time on ad shoots, inaugurations and award shows.

The tradition of the all-rounder is also over. A bowler only bowls. A batsman only bats. A wicket-keeper only keeps the wicket. None of them field and the fielders themselves have become glorified ball boys many of whom have absolutely no understanding of the game of cricket.

Their only aim is to catch or stop the ball and throw it back at the fielder instantly to effect a run-out. In one incident, a shot put champion threw the ball so hard that it fractured the rib of a star bowler. That led to the infamous Eden Garden Riot of 2029.

2 Match format and rules

2.1 Format

Every team consists of one bowler (pacer or spinner), one wicket-keeper, one batsman, one 100-metre dasher (the runner at the non-strike end) and seven athletes for fielding to form a team of 11 players.

2.2 General rules

The toss is extremely important as most people want to bat second. All the rules are the same as the regular forms of cricket except for the fact that the Third Umpire is the most crucial element. The room for error is zero per cent. In the DRS, Snickometer, Hot Spot, Ball Track, Hawk Eye and Quantum Mechanics Probability Formulae are all used to get a perfect verdict.

2.3 Q-D/L Method

The Q-D/L (Quantum Mechanics, Duckworth & Lewis) method continues to be controversial. Since many games end in a tie, sudden death takes place where both teams bowl an extra ball each till a result is reached. One Indo-Pak match went till 13 balls with the score being tied at 24-24 at the end of 12 balls. A hit-wicket by the Pakistan batsmen on the 13th ball led to a new round of match-fixing allegations, something which .1.1 had been spared till now.

If any team plays one more ball than the other team when rain ends play, then the Q-D/L Probability Curve  predicts whether the other team would have got the required runs or not from the final ball. It’s pretty controversial, but no-one has come out with a better method yet.

3 Records

First Century: SNVR Singh of Ireland became the first player to hit a century in .1.1s by scoring 100 runs in a calendar year. Tom Peter Jones of Canada became the first to hit a double century. Fans are currently waiting for the first .1.1 triple century.

First hat-trick: Usutuaije Riruako of Zimbabwe was the first person to take three wickets in three consecutive matches.

Most catches: Vladimir Gramotin Bezborodko of India. Vladimir was a Russian citizen who was spotted in a friendly match with the Moscow Siberian Cricketing Tigers. A popular newspaper claimed that Vladimir far from understanding cricket, doesn’t even know its spelling yet. He took Indian citizenships and is currently one of the richest sportsmen in the world.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Words and terms India needs…

TVial: Absolutely trivial stuff shown by 24X7 news channels which they usually label breaking news or exclusive. (TVial=TV+trivial)

Backfrog: The ability to make an unexpected and uncanny huge leap backwards, the opposite of “leapfrog”.

The 2-1 Step: When the country takes one step back for every two steps forward. Some totally backward areas experience the “1-2 Step” and hence get steadily worse.

Plasticky New: The tendency for an Indian to keep a product new by keeping it in the original plastic covering for as long as possible.

Clean Politician: Someone who is corrupt and communal but at the same time does a lot of development on the side.
Note: It is impossible for any politician to be 100% clean in India.

Conventionally Corrupt: “I don’t ask for bribes and just go about doing my job. But if someone gives me some extra money to do something, then I don’t decline.” To be contrasted with someone who is “Totally Corrupt”.

Parental Destiny: The tendency for most Indian parents to play God and dictate the college, course, job and even the spouse of their child.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Books and Authors: Indian politics section

The Merchant of 2G: A Raja

Discovery of Corruption in India: Subramanian Swamy

Decline And Fall of the Congress Empire:
Anna Hazare

Death of a Prime Minister:
An autobiography by Manmohan Singh

Invisible Man:
A biography of Manmohan Singh by LK Advani

Such a Long Journey, A Story of all my Rath Yatras: LK Advani

I Follow the Anna:
Kiran Bedi

Blind Men of Hindoostan in The Corruption War: Arvind Kejriwal

The Book of Revelations, India Chapter: Julian Assange

A Suitable Boy (For the PM’s Post): Diggy Raja

Diggy Raja in RSSland: Where our hero plays the Mad Hatter, the grinning Cheshire Cat and the Mocking Turtle all in one for the Queen of Hearts of the Congress Party

All’s Well That Ends Well, A Prediction for 2014: Kapil Sibal

All the Queen’s Spokesmen: Manish Tiwari

Character Assassination of a PM: Pranab Mukherjee

A Statue for Ms Mayawati: Satish Misra

Only Full Stops in India:
Prashant Bhushan

Anna Hazare Ha, Ha, Ha: Mani Shankar Aiyar

Lokpal-The Gathering Storm: Anna Hazare

The Prisoners of Tihar: Amar Singh

Passage to England: MS Dhoni

Passage to India: Alastair Cook

The Lokpal Odyssey Series…

1963: Odyssey One, 1968: Odyssey Two, 1971: Odyssey Three, 1985: Odyssey Four, 1989: Odyssey Five, 2011: Odyssey Six…

Coming Soon: Lokapl, the Final Odyssey: Abhishek Manu Singhvi

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Thak Thak Chutkule 4

(Knock Knock Jokes in Hindi)

Thak Thak!
Kaun hain bhaaya?
Gadaffi.
Gadaffi kaun?
Gadha, fir bhi is tarah se ant nahin hona chahiye tha!

Thak Thak!
Kaun hain bhaaya?
Kanimozhi.
Kanimozhi kaun?
Kahanai mai koi twist nahin, woh jail main hi rahegi!

Thak Thak!
Kaun hain bhaaya?
Karunanidhi.
Karunanidhi kaun?
Karuna dikhao meri beti ko, usne koi nidhi (wealth) nahin maara hai.

Thak Thak!
Kaun hain bhaaya?
Prashant.
Prashant who?
Prashant nahin ashant ho gaya hain Team Anna suddenly!

Thak Thak!
Kaun hain bhaaya?
Mera baap.
Mera baap kaun?
Mujhe kya maloom?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Absolutely faaltu coincidences

Notice how major players in the UPA have the letters A-N-N-A in them?

(Arthath, in sab main ANNA hain!)

soNiA gANdhi

mANmohAN singh

pAlaNiappAN chidambaram

Ak ANtoNy

ANANd sharma

jayANthi NAtarajan

m kAruNANidhi

Others don’t know how to spell ANNA and do so with only three letters A-N-A, so do they require a bit of name-changing numerology magic?

(Arthath, in sab main sirf thoda ANNA (barah ANA?) hain!)

prANAb mukherjee

sAlmNA khurshid

mANish tiwAri

Abhishek mANu singhvi

reNukA chowdAry

AmbikA soNi

Ajay mAkaN

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Why the Indian cricket team lost in England…

The BCCI has just completed its enquiry into the washout of the Indian team in England. Here are the results…

1st Test: Players just reached England. They had difficulty in adjusting to the conditions, pitches and climate.
Observations: Organize many more tours per year, so players will get over their “first match blues”.

2nd Test: India hadn’t choked for absolutely no rhyme and reason in a Test in ages. Law of averages finally caught up with them.
Observations: There’s nothing we can do about that.

3rd Test: Race riots happened in England at the time of the Test. The poor players were very scared. Smoke could be seen behind the stadium during the toss.
Observations: We couldn’t cancel the match as we needed the money and got it. No complaints there.

4th Test: Last match in the series. Players extremely tired and demoralized.
Observations: Organize 3-Test series in the future. As it is ODIs make more money. One lost Test = 3 more ODIs.

T20 International: Players played a whopping three practice matches the previous week, therefore they were extremely tired.
Observations: Stop listening to experts and stop organizing so many practice matches. As it is they don’t make much money.

Complete ODI Series: Rain, weather, damp pitches, Mr Duckworth and Mr Lewis dominated and there’s nothing anyone can do about that. This series can be totally forgotten, especially as we didn’t lose much money.
We were also told that captain MS Dhoni was fatigued and tired and should be rested, then how did he emerge as the leading run scorer and man of the series? The BCCI should stop listening to so-called experts.

Final Observations: Arre bhaiyya aal izz well!

Note: The ECB is seeking the BCCI’s expertise to explain its 0-3 ODI thrashing and making a similar report.

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru