Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kingfisher.
Kingfisher who?
King fishing for funds, bailout, restructuring, lucrative air routes… anything will do.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kudankulam.
Kudankulam who?
Could a nuke lemon be in the making for Prime Minister Manmohan Singh?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Don 2.
Don 2 who?
Don’t worry, be happy, last month I made loads of money, next month I’ll make loads more.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
∙ Today 111111 people will share 111111111111 status messages, emails, articles, facts and blogs (like this particular inane one) and waste 111111 man hours in the process.
∙ Is today is a good day for doing everything at the 11th hour?
∙ If 111 is called Nelson, then should today’s date be called the Double Nelson Day?
Or…
Did you know eleventyone is an obscure slang for over-exclamation???!!!
So better still, today is…
Double Eleventyone!!!!!!
∙ P.S. I missed 11.11.11@11.11.11!
I saw the clock at 11.40.
Now I am doomed to miss all such earth-shattering events 11111111 times in my life!
© Sunil Rajguru
Worker: Sahab, woh petrol to airlines ke liye hain!
Business Tycoon: Koi baat nahin, F1 main daal do.
Worker: Sahab, woh paisa to airlines ke liye hain!
Tycoon: Koi baat nahin, IPL pe udaa do.
Moral of the story: When you’re on a high, then the world looks totally different.
Handling that same world during a hangover is a different matter altogether.
P.S. Also overheard…
Retired Captain: Mere dhakkan main kya burai thi? Sasta tha par theek thaak udtaa to tha. Uspe laal rang thopoge to ye sab to hona hi tha na!
Tycoon: Ye laal rang kab mujhe chhodega…
Worker: Ab to peena band karo!
© Sunil Rajguru
∙ First jump on 1 leg, then jump on 1 more leg. (11)
Then balance your body on 1 hand then on 1 more hand. (11)
Then bang your head against 1 wall, then 1 other. (11)
Repeat this process when the time is 11.11.11.
∙ 11.11.11 in the morning on the date 11.11.11 is so rare that there will be a never seen before heavenly alignment that will grant every wish to everyone who asks it, no matter how fantastic.
The wish will come true after 111111111111 years.
∙ If you have a stopwatch, then try to stop it at 11.11.11.11 (11 hours 11 minutes 11.11 seconds) and frame it till 11.11.11.11, 2111.11.11.
∙ Watch Ra.One twice, then it will become Ra.OneOne or Ra.11.
∙ If you want to do good charity work, give 11 Rupees to 11 beggars at 11.11.11.
Richer people can give 11(hundred, thousand, lakh…) accordingly.
∙ At exactly 11.11.11, jump on 1 leg 111111 times.
∙ On the order of Pope Gregory XIII, the world went straight from October 4, 1582 to October 15, 1582 as a result of calendar adjustment.
Since we lost those days, purists can celebrate all of the above on November 22.
© Sunil Rajguru
∙ How do you boil an egg in Cape Town?
A: You put water and an egg in a pan, put on the flame and wait for 9 Aussie wickets to fall.
∙ You may have heard of 2-in-1s and 3-in-1s.
Well they’ve just launched 4-in-1s in cricket.
At least one ball of all four Test innings was bowled in a day.
∙ Pakistan match-fixers are studying the tremendous Australian collapse for tips on how to do it better in the future.
∙ When an Aussie fan heard that his team was 21/9, he thought that a new T10 tournament had been launched.
∙ Today Australia joins the League of Extraordinary Collapsers which already boasts of West Indies, Pakistan and India as their members.
∙ It’s being called Australia’s greatest fight back in their history.
The last wicket put on 124% of the runs put on by the first nine wickets combined.
(21/9 to 47 all down)
∙ Today the ICC has decided to launch a new team called Michael Clarke. Here are the scores across two innings…
Michael Clarke: 153 All Down
Australia: 178 All Down
(Close)
∙ Let’s round it off with some bakwaas shaayari…
Ye pitch nahin ditch hai,
History nahin mystery hai,
Michael Clarke nahin Clarke Kent hai,
Ten Wickets nahin Nine Pins hai…
Reference: First Test, Australia-South Africa at Cape Town (November 9).
© Sunil Rajguru
(Mahashatak = Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th International Century)
∙ It has been 243 days since Sachin last scored a century.
At this rate, he will celebrate two birthdays in 2012.
One is on April 24 when he turns 38.
But before that will be March 12, when the Mahashatak Quest turns One!
∙ Crore-o logon ki nazar Sachin ke Mahashatak par hain.
Aila, nazar lag gayi!
∙ Sachin ka sauwa shatak gaya tel lene has a new meaning with some people speculating that petrol prices will touch Rs 100 a litre before the Mahashatak happens!
∙ Someone please organize a Bangladesh-Zimbabwe-India ODI triangular series and Sachin can score his 100th ton and we all can quietly move on in life and cricket.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru