Tag Archives: Australia

Sombre Sydney musings…

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∙ Indian Cricket has mastered the Undertaker Technique.
Indian pitches are Graveyards for their bowlers.
Foreign pitches are Graveyards for our batsmen.

∙ Future discussions will shift from…
When will Sachin Tendulkar get a 100? To
When will the Indian top order get a 100?
And from…
Will Virender Sehwag ever get another Test 300? To
Will 10 Indian batsmen together ever get a Test 300 on foreign soil?

∙ Pakistan can’t play at home.
India shouldn’t play abroad.

∙ The Mahashatak solution…
Include First Class centuries as part of the equation.
Voila! He scored his Mahashatak ages ago!
Next step, include his school and other unofficial centuries.
Aila! He has scored 200 centuries.
Then the question will automatically become…
When will he score his 300th century?

∙ India might as well start a new “Seven bowler four batsmen theory” for Tests on foreign soil. We might actually fare better.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Second India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 3, 2012.

See Also: Melbourne Test debacle musings…

Melbourne Test debacle musings…

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Q: Nowadays, why are Indian batsmen extremely bad students?
A: Because they keep failing miserably in Tests.

∙ From now on the Ashes will be re-branded.
Whenever England and Australia host India at home, the series will be dubbed as the Indian Ashes.

Overheard…

Indian cricket fan: Oh God! Why do I have to keep suffering this humiliation Test after Test?
God: Didn’t I answer a billion prayers in 2011? Now don’t disturb me till 2015!

English bowler: We had an awesome bowling session of Indian Ten Pins last season.
Aussie bowler: Our season has just begun!

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: 2011 Boxing Day India-Australia Test at Melbourne

News in Limericks 5

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There was this leader from Italy,
Who was known for many a Bunga Bunga party,
Sex scams, court cases and wiretaps his premiership surrounded,
Sexism, gay bashing, Nazi barbs and the like abounded,
But in the end he was ousted over the economy.

There was this airline curse from India,
That first rendered an ineffective Air India,
East-West, ModiLuft, Vayudoot, Paramount & Co just shut down,
Air Deccan and Sahara got eaten, while Jet’s wearing a perpetual frown,
Aur ab Kingfisher bhi red main chala gaya.

There was this team from Aussie land,
That fell like an infamous Sidhu cycle stand,
A wicket fell, then the other, then another and another…
and another and another and another and another…
…and now their championship lies firmly in wonderland.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Cape Town Collapso musings

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∙ How do you boil an egg in Cape Town?
A: You put water and an egg in a pan, put on the flame and wait for 9 Aussie wickets to fall.

∙ You may have heard of 2-in-1s and 3-in-1s.
Well they’ve just launched 4-in-1s in cricket.
At least one ball of all four Test innings was bowled in a day.

∙ Pakistan match-fixers are studying the tremendous Australian collapse for tips on how to do it better in the future.

∙ When an Aussie fan heard that his team was 21/9, he thought that a new T10 tournament had been launched.

∙ Today Australia joins the League of Extraordinary Collapsers which already boasts of West Indies, Pakistan and India as their members.

∙ It’s being called Australia’s greatest fight back in their history.
The last wicket put on 124% of the runs put on by the first nine wickets combined.
(21/9 to 47 all down)

∙ Today the ICC has decided to launch a new team called Michael Clarke. Here are the scores across two innings…
Michael Clarke: 153 All Down
Australia: 178 All Down
(Close)

∙ Let’s round it off with some bakwaas shaayari…
Ye pitch nahin ditch hai,
History nahin mystery hai,
Michael Clarke nahin Clarke Kent hai,
Ten Wickets nahin Nine Pins hai…

Reference: First Test, Australia-South Africa at Cape Town (November 9).

© Sunil Rajguru