Wife: Swami!
PC: Woh naam mat lo mere saamne!
Party worker: Ki chhora Ganga kinare waala…
Maya: Mat gaana ga woh! Chhora haath dho kar hi peeche pad gaya hai UP ke!
Worker: Can sir…
Rahul: Cancer? Stop talking nonsense!
Sometime after the World Cup final…
Madam: Sachin is a real bharat ratna!
PC (To himself): Hmmm, now we’ll have to change the rules!
© Sunil Rajguru
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Pre-screen.
Pre-screen who?
Pre-screen you and your head first, Mr Minister!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now to Stage 3 of my agitation!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Black money.
Black money who?
Black many accounts yes, but back money to India, no!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
It’s the economy stupid!=Economist Manmohan Singh made Prime Minister.
Love your enemy=No strong action taken against terrorists; China threat ignored.
Youth is the future=Rahul Gandhi is future PM.
Think before you speak=Kapil Sibal’s pre-screening of Internet content.
Speech is silver=Diggy Raja, Manish Tiwari & Co.
…and silence is golden=Manmohan Singh & Sonia Gandhi.
Black is beautiful=Refusal to expose Swiss Bank accounts.
With great power comes great responsibility=PM: Actually I have no real power and hence I have no real responsibility.
The importance of woman power=Sonia Gandhi president of the Congress party for record 13-years and counting, more than Mahatma Gandhi or Jawaharlal Nehru; dynamic Pratibha Patil made President of India; Sheila Dixit continues despite CWG blot.
Only the great defy gravity=Thanks to us you have continuous inflation, petrol hikes…
Get everyone on board before making a decision=Nobody is coming on board only nowadays! So from now on there will be no major decisions.
Albert Einstein said, “…the fourth world war will be fought with sticks and stones.”
If we have no breakthrough in the December agitation, then the fourth Lokapl war will also be fought with sticks and stones!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Common Man…
What Series Hockey?
Where Series Hockey?
FIH: Why Series Hockey?
Fans: When Series Hockey?
Organisers: World Series How?
Bottomline: Who’ll Save Hockey?
Remember, in sports, C stands for Cash…
CriCket, HoCkey, $oCCer, OlympiC$, CommonWealth, Teni$$…
The India story…
Problem 1: Too less Cash=Corruption of talent pool.
Problem 2: Too much Cash=Corruption of administrators.
Gavaskar Yesterday: I have no reason to hate the BCCI.
Gavaskar Today: I have one million reasons to hate the BCCI.
© Sunil Rajguru
A dam appeared on the silver screen.
That gave a totally new insight to people around the dam.
On one side, the dam looked totally new.
But from the other side, it looked old and dilapidated.
From a few thousand kilometres up North, it couldn’t even be seen.
And nobody could see under the ground to check if seismic waves would rise up and disrupt the structure.
The heat is rising all around and two states are heading towards troubled waters.
Sometimes real life inspires reel life and then than reel life escapes back into real life.
Damn!
© Sunil Rajguru
The Bible: Live and Let Live.
James Bond: Live and Let Die.
Suicide Bomber: Die and Let Die.
India’s Terrorist Policy: Die and Let Live.
∙ New brand ambassador for Maharashtra Tourism: Kasab.
Catchline: Come visit us, you’ll love this place so much that we’ll never let you leave!
(No spelling mistake. It can’t be “we’ll never let you live” as death is reserved only for common citizens and not hardened terrorists.)
P.S. Delhi could say the same for the Kashmiri who visted them: Afzal Guru.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru