Due to inflation, the Million Dollar Question will now be called the Billion Dollar Question.
∙ At this rate in 2050, Who Wants to be a Millionaire? will imply: Who wants to be Poor?
∙ Dollar Diplomacy now implies cheap diplomacy.
∙ A Dollar Store is an empty store.
∙ Hence, kindly replace Dollar Dreams with Dollar Nightmares.
© Sunil Rajguru
Kapil Sibal is still adamant about policing the Net even though such news is in the background.
Please sing to the tune of Ram Ka Naam Badnam Na Karo from the film Hare Rama Hare Krishna…
Dekho O deewano tum ye kaam na karo,
Gandhi Pariwar ka naam badnaam na karo,
Jai Sonia ji aur Jai Rahul ji.
Sonia ko samjho, Rahul ko jaano,
Cyber-neend se jaago O mastano,
Jeet lo 2014 chunav ko pakadkar danda,
2012 hi haara to kya, hum chalayenge wahi purana funda,
Jeevan ko faltu criticism ka tum ghulam na karo,
Gandhi Pariwar ka naam badnaam na karo,
Jai Sonia ji aur Jai Rahul ji.
Sonia ne hanskar sab sukh tyaage,
Tum sab dukh se dar ke bhage,
Rahul ne karm ki reet sikhayee,
Tum ne farz se aankh churayee,
O Gandhi duhaayee,
Gandhi Pariwar ka naam badnaam na karo,
Jai Sonia ji aur Jai Rahul ji.
(Original Song: Ram Ka Naam Badnam Na Karo.
Film: Hare Rama Hare Krishna.
Year: 1971.)
This Spoof By Sunil Rajguru
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Defeats.
Defeats who?
The feats of the Indian cricketing team have changed from record winning streaks to record losing streaks!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
World Champions India.
World Champions India who?
World Champions in the air!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Republican presidential candidate.
Republican presidential candidate who?
Good question!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Budget.
Budget who?
Baja thok ke chal diye desh ko FM sahib.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kahaani.
Kahaani who?
Kahaa ni woh akeli kaafi hai film ko superhit banana ke liye!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
∙ Now he can officially change his name to Sauchin RunIshwar TenXTendulkar a.k.a Shatakeshwar.
∙ In Roman Numerals, C stands for Century, So Sachin’s new name is…
SaCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCChin
∙ New Sachinisque blessing for entry-level batsman: Aap khelo pachees saal aur maaro sau shatak.
∙ It took Sachin about 370 days to run this single and go from the 99th to the 100th 100!
∙ Now Sachin’s wife is really “Sau”bhagyawati.
∙ Sau-te sau-te sau-te finally Mahashatak jaag gaya!
∙ Subah ka bhoola hua shatak agar shyam ko laut aaye, to use shatak nahin mahashatak kahate hai!
∙ He almost changed his name to 99dulkar and retired!
∙ He was on 99 for so long that it almost felt like 99 years… you could have almost called him Searching Tendulkar…
∙ Sachin scored his 99th international Century on March 12.
Sachin scored his 100th international Century on March 16.
(Kindly to please ignore the year in between!)
© Sunil Rajguru
On the anniversary of Sachin Tendulkar’s 99th Century and his wait for the 100th international hundred, also called the Mahashatak, my complete blogs on the issue…
The Sachin Tendulkar “99To100 Era”…
Mission 100th 100 Scorecard for die-hard Sachin Tendulkar fans
Aayega Aayega Aanewala Shatak Aayega
Woh maarega Mahashatak ek din…
Sachin Mahashatak in Hollywood titles
4 reasons why Sachin has still not scored his Mahashatak…
Some Sachin Mahashatak musings…
∙ C… Speed of light… Cosmic speed limit… Nothing can cross it… not even light…
100C… Cricketing speed limit… Nothing can touch it… not even God…
∙ Mahashatak to Sachin… Tu jahaa jahaa chalegaa, mera saayaa saath hogaa…
∙ ABCD of Sachin’s Mahashatak misses…
Sachin has missed his 100th 100 at Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi…
(Now let’s hope he doesn’t go all the way from E to Z!)
∙ Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Mahashatak.
Mahashatak who?
My shatak when, where and how???
∙ Happy First Anniversary to Sachin’s 99th International 100.
Will you have many more?
∙ Sachin will probably retire on an innings of 99 not out and then retire from international cricket to prove a point.
(Even if that takes two years!)
∙ How will the great man’s career end?
Sachin: 100*.
Sachin: 99, Retired Hurt.
∙ Jab tak sooraj chand rahaega,
Mahashatak tu aata aata… aata hi rahega…
∙ The Mahashatak solution…
Include First Class centuries as part of the equation.
Voila! He scored his Mahashatak ages ago!
Next step, include his school and other unofficial centuries.
Aila! He has scored 200 centuries.
Then the question will automatically become…
When will he score his 300th century?
∙ Q: What’s common to R Ashwin, Tino Mawoyo and Kirk Edwards?
A: None of them even debuted in Tests when Sachin scored his 99th century and all of them scored a Test 100 before Sachin’s 100th.
∙ Sachin Mahashatak Obscure Fact #23…
Even the Capital of Delhi has hit a 100 before him…
∙ Has anyone else noticed that the Aishwarya-Abhishek Bachchan child was probably conceived about a month before Sachin Tendulkar scored his 99th Century?
(Section: Amazing Facts about the Mahashatak)
∙ Sachin has been stranded on his 99th international century for ages now. But that’s normal. He always spends a lot of time in the nervous nineties.
∙ Old Saying: Delhi door hai.
New Saying…
Sachin ka sauwa shatak door hai.
∙ Whenever the Little Master nears a landmark, we have a string of nervous failures.
After the Landmark, we have a flurry of confident centuries.
How many Landmarks does a man need, before he looks at just the team scoreboard?
∙ Tendulkar Mahashatak Trivia No. 23: The bowlers purposely leaked runs to ensure that Sachin would get a large enough target to score his 100th international hundred.
∙ Tan-ta-na! Tondulkar gaya Tel lene, Tonting bhi aa gaya.
Looks like Hell will Freeze over before the Mahashatak.
© Sunil Rajguru