Category Archives: Cricket & Sports

When the Kiwis thrashed the Poms at #CWC2015…

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Reference: New Zealand ODI 20 February 2015.

During supper break…
England team: We are not hungry.
The cook: Yeah I saw you all devouring huge helpings of humble pie all day.

Duke of Wellington won the Battle of Waterloo in 1815.
The English met their Waterloo at the Battle of Wellington in 2015.

England is not even the best ODI cricket team in the British Isles.

Some time back Ab de Villiers hit 149 runs off 31 balls.
Today England hit 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
Angrezo, chullu bhar paani main doob maro!

England lost an ODI.
Had Brendon McCullum not got out, New Zealand would have won a T10 match.

Pre-McCullum era = 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
McCullum era = 105 runs off 7.1 overs.
Post-McCullum era = 20 runs off 5.1 overs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Miandad’s sixer and Harjah for India…

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From the beginning of ODIs to before Pakistani cricketer Javed Miandad hit the winning sixer off the last ball of the final of the 1986 Sharjah tournament; we led Pakistan 8-7 in terms of wins-losses.

From the Miandad sixer to Sharjah 1991, Pakistan led India a whopping 17-3.

We boycotted Sharjah in 1992 and our performance improved slightly, but we came back to Sharjah in 1994 and played till 2000.

During that period Pakistan led us 44-21.

Then we boycotted Sharjah for good after 2000.

Since then we lead Pakistan 22-21.

It was also after the first boycott that we beat Pakistan in the World Cup and since then we’ve beaten them in 6/6 World Cups.

If the BCCI ever thinks of holding neutral Indo-Pak matches at Sharjah, then the Harjah days are sure to return.

World Cup musings…

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Total prize money up for grabs for 200+ players participating in 2015 ODI World Cup…
$10 million.
Yuvraj Singh’s fee for just appearing in IPL 2015…
$2.5 million.

The World Cup jinx…
Sri Lanka has never beaten Pakistan.
Pakistan has never beaten India.
India has never beaten South Africa.
South Africa has never beaten anyone in a knockout match.

A Tale of Three Summers…
Team India went from an Indian Summer to an Australian Summer and will return to an Indian Summer again.
Instead of a long rest, they’ll rush into a 1.5 month long IPL.

1992—India has beaten you in a World Cup. Will you give it back to them?
Pakistan—‪#‎WeWontGiveItBack‬—1996, 1999, 2003, 2011, 2015.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Height of Optimism for India’s ODI performance…

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In April 1983, India was 166 all down and in a few months it won the World Cup.

In July 2002, India was 165 all down and in a few months it won the ICC Champions Trophy.

In January 2011, India was 154 all down and in a few months it won the World Cup.

In January 2013, India was 167 all down and in a few months it won the ICC Champions Trophy.

In January 2015, India was 153 all down and in a few months it…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Sydney Test musings…

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Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.

Australia series captaincy report…
Dhoni: 1 loss, 1 draw, loves Raina, can’t control bowlers.
Kohli: 1 loss, 1 draw, loves Raina, can’t control bowlers.
It’s a tie!!!

Happy days are here again…
1990s: I know India is losing Test upon Test, but I’m enjoying Tendulkar’s century upon century.
2010s: I know India is losing Test upon Test, but I’m enjoying Kohli’s century upon century.

India-Australia series report…
We crossed 400 in every first innings.
We were never bowled out for less than 200 in any second innings.
Three of our batsmen were in the region of 400 runs.
Three of our bowlers took more than 10 wickets.
Bottom line: Still can’t win a single Test!

Starc and Hazlewood together give less runs in an hour than Umesh Yadav gives in a minute.

Parity…
Australia: 40 overs 251 runs.
India: 40 balls 1 run. (Overs 13.2 to 19.4).

After Indian innings…
Umesh to Raina: I can bat better than you!
After Australian innings:
Raina to Umesh: I can bowl better than you!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sydney Test musings…

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Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.

Post 0-8, India’s foreign Test campaign can be called Runs ‘n Ruins.
Runs for the batsmen. Ruins for the bowlers.

If you went to the bathroom when Suresh Raina came in to bat, then you missed his entire Test career post-2012.

New era in Indian Test captaincy.
Before…
Dhoni: I have bad bowlers.
Now…
Kohli: I have really bad bowlers.

T20s: Raina the Rock.
ODIs: Boom Boom Raina
Tests: Aaya Raina Gaya Raina.

Indian fast bowler careers…
Kapil Dev: 16 years.
Manoj Prabhakar: 12 years.
Zaheer Khan: 12 years.
Javagal Srinath: 11 years.
Nowadays it’s tough to find even one who can survive for 1 continuous year in international cricket.

Why does it feel like…
Weee!!! I made 400 runs in the series, let me get out! (Vijay)
Weee!!! I finally made a 50, let me get out! (Rohit)
Weee!!! I made a maiden century, let me get out! (Rahul)
Weee!!! I’m in the Test team, let me get out! (Raina)
Kohli: FML!
Dhoni: LOL!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru