Category Archives: Short Takes

Some Congressi musings…

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· How the Government runs the Economy Marathon…
First 4.5 years: 20 kms race walk, albeit leisurely.
Last 0.5 years: 100 metres dash.

· Last telegram discovered.
It was lying in the dustbin.
Because it was blank.
Then they realized that MMS had sent it.

· Some say that the Bofors probe died on July 13, 2013.
But the question is: Was it ever really born?
‪#‎Quattrocchi‬

· Sonia: Who is our best speaker?
A: Tharoor.
Sonia: Who is the most sincere sounding?
A: Maken.
Sonia: OK, Modify both of them!

· Pappu re-interpretation No. 23…
If power is poison, then are all politicians snakes?

· Congress High Command orders…
Bharat gaya tel lene, Gujarat par aakraman karo!

· Even if Diggy Raja called Modi a Martian, he’d still be mobbed by serious looking reporters for details and TV anchors would hold panel discussions over it.

· Effectively…
Sir, Ishrat is a burning issue, shouldn’t you come clean?
Shinde: Nahin yaar, maine Amreeka ke saath God promise kiya tha!

· There was a time I used to love listening to Shashi Tharoor and Ajay Maken, but both of them have lost it with this latest Rambogiri, sorry, spokesmangiri.

· Tum maino ya na maino, ye desh ka abhi bahut hi boora haal hai…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Cyberspace musings…

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· They should call Facebook the Zuckerburger.
Like all burgers it is full of fat (lies), zero nutrition (for the brain), fills your (mind’s) stomach and leaves no place for any other thing of value and is basically time pass.

· First: Thank God!
Then: Thank God it’s Friday.
Now: Thank God for Zuckerberg!

· IRCTC to enter the Online Shopping space.
They’ll probably specialize in Window Shopping.

· Status Updates may show just 1% of a User’s personality, but sometimes they appear to be 100%.

· Curious…
The Empress of India has a packed court of jesters whose sole purpose seems to be to entertain Twitter and Facebook.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi musings of the day…

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· Every middle class Indian would gladly pay Rs 5 each if it would stop them from listening to Manish Tewari.

· After the Food Bill is implemented, the common man’s Petrol Bill, Grocery Bill, Restaurant Bill, You Name it Bill will go through the roof.

· 2014: BJP single largest party, Congress supports Third Front.
2015: Food Bill implementation destroys economy.
2016: Third Front falls, blamed for mess. Congress re-elected.

· Found… Pappu’s last telegram…
Telegram kaun laya?

· Actually the Cash Transfer Scheme started ages ago.
The only difference is it first covered politicians and Swiss banks and now it covers citizens and Indian banks.

· Aaj Congress ka zabardast speeches/Tweets/attacks dekh ke lag raha hai ki sab partymen raat bhar laaltein leke Modi ke speeches pad rahe the.

· Why is he always in that mode?
manish teWARi

· Nero played the fiddle when Rome burned.
(Nero= MMS. Rome=India)

· What is the Dynasty Model? What is the Maya Model? What is the Mamata Model? What is the Mulayam Model? What is the Diggy Raja Model? What is the DMK Model? What is the MSM Model? ‪#‎GujaratModel‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi musings of the day…

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· Q: Is the bottle half Full or half Empty?
Media: Dunno about that, but 0.01% of Modi’s speech is Empty and our report is Full of that.

· Indian pays Rs 5 to hear Modi speak.
India pays Rs 5 lakh crore to hear Manmohan’s silence.
‪#‎CostOfScams‬

· I think a few hundred prominent Indian personalities would go into a permanent state of shock and get detached from reality if Modi actually became Prime Minister.

· Yesterday the media covered the Modus Operandi of all political parties.
Today it’s just Modi’s Operandi.

· Seems you either virulently like Modi or virulently hate him or virulently want to ignore him.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The death of telegram musings…

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· One way of putting it…
Q: I love you. Do you love me?
A: I’ll reply by telegram!
‪#‎India‬

· Telegram gaya, ab Kilogram (of vegetables) bhi chala jaayega, sab ab gram main hi khareediye.

· Last telegrams Pappu sent to many humble homes saying he’s coming to their place to eat.
And now they can’t even reply!

· Telegram gaya tel lene…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu and other Congressi musings…

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· Gali gali main shor hai,
Rahul Gandhi bore hai.
‪#‎PappuSpeeches‬

· If Rahul Gandhi finally and reluctantly becomes Prime Minister, will they call it Uninterested Pappu Alliance?

· UPA kyun haar ke CAGaar par khadi hai?

· The Congress can drastically speed up Internet services in India by merely blocking all pages that have the word Modi in them.

· Why is that party always Maken a fool of itself?

· 1993—SRK: K… K… K… K… Kiran.
Bees saal baad…
Congress: M… M… M… M… Modi.

· The Government of India are great fans of MIB.
No it’s not Will Smith, but Mis Information Bureau.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru