Category Archives: Short Takes

Musings on Manmohan Singh the great economist…

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Cash for votes scam and Nuclear Deal came together.
Instead of nuclear energy being kick started, it was the scams that went critical and became a chain reaction to blow up the economy.

What are the chances?
1991: Manmohan lays the foundation stone for India’s new economy.
2014: Same person lays its tombstone.

Once Oxbridge used to build nations, today they destroy them.
‪#‎MMS‬ ‪#‎Pappu‬ ‪#‎Khurshid‬ ‪#‎Mani‬
Once Harvard alumni used to build the economy, today they destroy it.
‪#‎Bush‬ ‪#‎Chidu‬ ‪#‎ZeroLossSibal‬

Manmohan…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian border/LoC musings…

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Sad ugly truth…
China: Our soldiers don’t require visa to enter India.
Pakistan: Our soldiers don’t need to enter India. We fire from our positions and the Indian government does nothing.

What is common to Batman, Superman and Indo-Pak peace?
A: They are all fictional characters.
Tragedy is our leaders still believe in it as soldiers keep dying non-stop.

Pak leaders’ gifts…
Liaquat: 1948 Kashmir war.
Ayub: 1965 war.
Yahya: 1971 war.
Zia: Siachen conflict.
Benazir: Kashmir militancy.
Sharif: Kargil.
Sharif is back! Arre kamse kam koi usko return gift to de do!

Antony on KBC…
Antony: People in Pak Army uniform did it.
KBC: LoC kiya jaaye?
AKA: Errr… let me change my answer… Pak Army did it.
KBC: Full marks to you! Now we move on to the next question. What are you going to do about it?

We are an army of tigers led by wolves in lambs’ clothing.
(Summing up the soldier-politician relationship)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The poverty of Pappu 2…

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Nehru: We will end poverty and ignorance.
Pappu: Poverty is a state of mind and ignorance is bliss.

Descartes’ mantra to humanity…
I think therefore I am.
Pappu’s mantra to the poor…
I think I am rich therefore I am.

I think the time has come for someone to write the ultimate Indian joke book: Thus Spake Pappu or PappuShastra or ‪#‎PappuNama‬…

The thin line between Confidence and No Confidence has just been renamed the Poverty Line.
‪#‎PappuBoltaHai‬

The “poor” have been officially redesignated as simply those who “lack confidence” and thereby the Congress has finally achieved its goal of 100% poverty eradication in India.
‪#‎GareebiHatGayi‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indo-Pak musings…

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Maybe the people spotted near the border were wearing Pakistani uniforms Made in China.

Next solution?
“Some unknown people wearing Chinese uniforms are being spotted regularly near the Indo-China border.”

Pakistan PM: Sorry sir, but I am not in control of my country.
Indian PM: Don’t worry. Neither am I.
‪#‎TheekHai‬

Aman Ki Asha is losing to Jung Ki Khwaaish.
(Maybe it’s always been like that since 1947)

Johnnie Walker…
Keep Walking.
The entire sum of the Indo-Pak peace process…
Keep Talking.
(While the results always go for a long walk)

Q: Since the public opinion is against talks with Pakistan, don’t you…
Congress: Public opinion? Woh kya hota hai?

Pakistan’s actions are unacceptable!
(Arre babu! Accept karke unacceptable bolne se kya fayada hai bhala?)

Sometime back on the phone…
Manmohan Singh: What should we discuss in the US?
Nawaz Sharif: Don’t worry! I will give you something to talk about.

On August 13, 1947, they were 40 million Indians.
On August 14, 1947, they suddenly became 40 million Pakistanis who virulently hated Indians.
Do you really expect sanity and peace to come out of this absurdity?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Political musings of the day…

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Politicians: Servants of the People.
Government officials: Servants of the servants of the People.
Aam Aadmi: Servants of the servants of the servants of the People.
Note: Who are these mysterious “People” that the Constitution keeps talking about?

Dear Congress,
In the 1970s, the Opposition took to strikes, extreme violence and even bombs.
Aren’t peaceful protests and Internet Humour much better than that?

Congress slogans…
1970s: Gareebi Hatao.
Post-Food Bill: Gareebi Hat Gayi.
Now all the focus can be on: Modi Hatao.

Q: Why’re you issuing Clean Chits to everyone including even Pakistan?
A: Hehe. Sorry. We’ve used up all our Guilty Chits on Modi and have none left!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Aman ki Asha musings…

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Defence Minister: Some people dressed in Pakistani army soldiers’ uniform did it.
Citizen: Someone in the Prime Minister’s dress is ruling the country.

Foreign policies…
Theodore Roosevelt: Speak softly and carry a big stick.
Manmohan Singh: Throw away the stick and shut the hell up.

Jitna zor ye sab log Modi ko attack karne pe laga rahe hai, uska aadha energy bhi China-Pak ko counter karane main lagaate to hamari Foreign Policy effective hoti.

Forget Food Security.
What are you doing for Jawan-Kisan Security?

Q: Since the public opinion is against talks with Pakistan, don’t you…
Congress: Public opinion? Woh kya hota hai?

Pakistan’s actions are unacceptable!
(Arre babu! Accept karke unacceptable bolne se kya fayada hai bhala?)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru