Dhoni’s last Test series as captain…

MS Dhoni’s book about his Test career will be…
Tired and Retired.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dhoni.
Dhoni who?
Don’ you think it was all rather abrupt?

MS Dhoni’s theme song is…
Saari duniya ka bojh ham uthaate hai…

Test cricket is truly dead when the Indian captain with most Test wins retires voluntarily at the age of 33.

The 2014-15 Border-Gavaskar Series may well be known as the Dhoni-Clarke Retirement Series.
(Also, both have whitewashed each other)

Now suddenly MS Dhoni will become the freshest player in both ODIs and IPL.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

J&K-Jharkhand poll musings…

Jharkhand-Jammu jhaaki hai,
Bihar-Bengal baaki hai,

The process of Ghar Wapsi of all Congress governments started in 2013.
‪#‎Rajasthan‬ ‪#‎NewDelhi‬ ‪#‎India‬ ‪#‎AndhraPradesh‬ ‪#‎Maharashtra‬ ‪#‎Haryana‬

Panellist: The party has not performed as per the exit poll.
—Duh! It’s your exit poll that has not performed!

One thing is clear that from now on for all State elections …
Tough fight between BJP versus Regional Party.
Congress heading for extinction.

Narendra Modi is building an electoral Development Highway throughout India.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 4 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

For Steve Waugh, India was the final frontier.
For India, every country is the final frontier.

No matter what day of the Test, when India begins its second innings, it is always just one session away from defeat.

Bharat ko videshi Test jeetna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai…

If Winnie the Pooh led the Australian Test team, they’d still thrash us 4-0.

What Shikhar Dhawan may have wanted to say after his 81 at Brisbane…
I was inspired by the great Australia batsmen during their batting in the first innings.
I kept counting the milestones one by one.
First I went past Lyon (23) then Hazlewood (32) and finally Starc (52).
My only regret is that I couldn’t go past the great Mitchell Johnson’s 88.
All these great batsmen can give a few tips to our top order batsmen.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 3 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

Overseas Tests…
Play pathetically: Lose.
Play badly: Lose.
Play well: Lose.
Play really well: Lose.
Play awesomely: Draw.
Once in four years: Win.

The Indian attack is great at getting batsmen out.
It just can’t dismiss the bowlers.

After Kapil Dev, India has produced 25 fast bowlers faster than him, but not even one who remotely matches his fighting spirit.

Lightning strikes once.
Rare if it strikes twice.
If it strikes 10 times, then you’re the Indian bowling attack hit by the tail.

True Test parity…
At home we watch Indian batsmen doing The Great Escape.
Overseas, we watch the opposition batsmen doing The Great Escape.

India should stop importing foreign coaches and start importing foreign bowlers.
That’s the only way to save foreign Tests.

On foreign Test pitches, some tails last more sessions than Indian batsmen last balls.

If the Indian bowling attack took 19 wickets in 3 days on a foreign Test pitch, then you can be sure that the 20th would elude them for the next two days.

We won one foreign Test in 2011.
After that in 2014.
So the next is coming in 2017.

This is MS Dhoni’s 59th match as Test captain and Steven Smith’s first.
Frankly, it looks like the other way round.

On foreign Test pitches, the opposition’s last pair is better than India’s opening pair.

Overseas Test rules…
If India is 300-5, they can be 325 all down.
If the opposition is 300-5, they can go to 600.

In an overseas Test if India scores 450 and the opposition is 200-5, the Indian fan asks…
Can we somehow have a miracle and draw this match?

India’s DRS = Decisions Really Suck.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Adelaide Test musings…

Ref: First India-Australia Test at Adelaide.

Aus series he kya?
Nahi, Aasu series hai.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

Kohli, Viru ya ho Dhoni,
Fast bowling, spin ya kuch bhi anhoni,
Foreign pitches pe bas wohi hi honi.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

2011: Can’t play fast bowlers on foreign pitches.
‪#‎Eng‬ ‪#‎Aus‬
2012: Can’t play spinners on home pitches.
#Eng
2014: Can’t play spinners on foreign pitches.
#Eng #Aus

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

November 2014 Status Updates

486 Pages. 663 match reports. 899 Rupees.

‪#‎PlayingItMyWay‬ ‪#‎SachinTendulkar‬

(November 8)

From 1947-2000, almost two-thirds of the Bharat Ratnas went to Congressmen/ex-Congressmen.
(25/38).

25 politicians have won the Bharat Ratna.
All 25 were Congressmen/ex-Congressmen.
Will Modi give the first ever Bharat Ratna to a non-Congressman?

Vadra lambe race ka ghoda.
Even after 5 days 3 Vadra hashtags are trending…
‪#‎YesWeAreSerious‬ ‪#‎AreYouSerious‬ ‪#‎Vadra‬

(November 5)

Most Pakistani citizens killed by Pakistani terrorists.
Analysis: India is the biggest enemy.
Pakistani Army has butchered democracy and progress in Pakistan.
Analysis: Pakistani Army is the saviour.

(November 3)

Vadra was sent on a space mission to visit the brightest star in the night sky.
When he reached the star’s orbit, he asked…
‪#‎AreYouSirius‬?

(November 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru