No story!
No problem, just fabricate…
Priyanka to join politics?
Next day…
Priyanka rubbishes rumours of her joining politics.
Final analysis: Two stories for the price of none!
The headline that never goes away…
1998: Will Priyanka join politics?
1999: Will Priyanka join politics?
2004: Will Priyanka join politics?
2009: Will Priyanka join politics?
2014: Will Priyanka join politics?
2019: Will Priyanka join politics?
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
If you become the first person in the history of the world to climb Mount Everest, you get India’s third highest award, the Padma Bhushan.
(Tenzing Norgay)
If you lead your army to the most decisive war in your country’s history and liberate a brand new country, you get India’s second highest award, the Padma Vibhushan.
(Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw)
Wow, that means all the people who won India’s highest award, the Bharat Ratna, must be the greatest people who ever walked this Earth!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Rahul Gandhi: Fashion model.
Priyanka Vadra: Brand Ambassador to the real estate industry.
Sonia Gandhi: Permanent Ambassador to Italy.
Digvijay Singh: Conspiracy theory TV host.
Shashi Tharoor: Sonia’s official biographer.
Natwar Singh: Regular author, challenger to Chetan Bhagat.
Sushil Kumar Shinde: Successor to Ahmed Patel.
Kapil Sibal: Back to Full-time lawyer defending umpteen Congress scams.
Manish Tewari: Anchor of TV channel Congress Now challenging Arnab.
Abhishek Manu Singhvi: TV reality show participant.
Mani Shankar Aiyar: Rajiv Gandhi’s official biographer, series of many books.
Jairam Ramesh: Pappu’s official biographer.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Pappugiri: Frivolous part-time politics which has more sound than substance.
Soniagiri: Claiming great power with zero responsibility.
Manmohangiri: Maungiri.
Just one man’s voice heard in Parliament: Pappu.
Congressman: True, unlike our party, where just one woman’s voice is heard.
President for a whopping 16 years and goodness knows for how much longer.
They should just rename it to Congress (Sonia).
The Pappu model…
Give speech.
Go on leave.
Give interview.
Go on leave.
Attend meeting.
Go on leave.
Tear up paper.
Go on leave.
Talk empowerment.
Go on leave.
Shout in Lok Sabha…
© Sunil Rajguru
Probably the only major Congress shake-up that Sonia wants to do is to make Pappu Senior Vice President and Pappini Junior Vice President.
Pappu: Should I put more fire into my political ambitions?
A: No, you should put your political ambitions in the fire!
#NatwarSingh #FireInTheBelly
After 1947, Congress won the first general election of every decade…
1951.
1962.
1971.
1980.
1991.
2004.
Winning streak broken in 2014.
After 16 years as Congress President, Sonia has delivered 44 seats.
If the Congress doesn’t get its act together, after 21 years she will have 21 seats.
Congress picks dead leader in poll panel.
What else can you expect from a dead party?
2004: Pappu prevents Sonia from becoming PM.
2009: Manmohan wins 2009.
Analysis: Pappu through his foresight won 2009 in 2004.
PMO files never sent to Sonia: Manmohan.
P.S. This answer was sent in a file to her and she okayed it.
2009: (Manmohan) Singh is King.
#OneTermIsNotEnough
2014: (Natwar) Singh is King.
#OneLifeIsNotEnough
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
There was this dude called Obama,
Who go the peace prize hey baba!
On peace how he did talk!
But he couldn’t walk the talk,
Palestine, Af-Pak, ISIS, Syria, Iraq…—What a world panorama!
There was this dude called Modi,
While campaigning there was a coverage OD,
But when he became PM,
He changed his stratagem,
And now TV channels are facing cold turkey.
There was this dude called Natwar,
Who suddenly shed all his dynastic darr,
He attacked the Queen Bee,
And little Pappu—yes even he,
And all the Congressmen are going grrrrrr!!!!!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru