Category Archives: Indian Politics

The Quit India Movemement 2011

Posted on by
Reply

BJP to Manmohan: Quit PM’s post. You’ve lost it.
RSS to Advani: Quit PM candidature. You never had it!

Opponents to BSY: Quit politics and stay in jail.
Karuna to Kanimozhi: Quit jail and return to politics!

Bajaj to Mallya: Quit the airline industry. No bailout for you.
Environmentalists to Bajaj: Quit polluting India!

Swamy to Chidambaram: Quit the ministry. You’re tainted.
Politicians to Swamy: Quit troubling all of us all the time!

Congress workers to Rahul: Quit this indecision and lead the country.
Opponents to Rahul: Lead the country? Quit India first!

Team Anna to Government: Quit if you can’t pass Lokpal.
Lokpal to Itself: If anyone will Quit, I know it’ll be me!

Modi to Detractors: Quit troubling me over Godhra.
Detractors to Modi: Quit over Godhra!

RSS to Diggy Raja: Quit maligning us.
Diggy Raja to RSS: Quit your very existence!

Omar to Army: Quit Kashmir.
Army to Omar: Only after the last militant has Quit!

© Sunil Rajguru

A government of extremes…

Posted on by
Reply

Sonia kam bolti hain aur baaki sab kuch jyaada hi,

Manmohan ki umar ab jyaada lagti aur Rahul ki kam,

Prices are continuously soaring and allies’ trust is crashing,

There’s inflation in the economy, but a recession in credibility,

Congress is 54 short of majority, but behaves as if it’s 54 in excess,

Rs 1.76 lakh crore bahut kam hai, par Team Anna Hazare ke hazaron kuch jyaada hi,

2014 bahut door hai aur 2011 ko jhelna bahut hi mushkil!

© Sunil Rajguru

Tu mera Anna No. 1

Posted on by
Reply

OK, Team Anna is facing really tough times and the movement needs a theme song to pep it up.

Here’s one for Anna Hazare…

Please sing to the tune of Sona Kitna Sona Hai (Tu mera Hero No. 1) from the film Hero No. 1…

Sona kitna sona hai, sone jaise tera jan andolan,
Sun zara sun kya kehti hai, krantikari desh ki dhadkan,
Sona kitna sona hai, sone jaise tera jan andolan,
Sun zara sun kya kehti hai, krantikari desh ki dhadkan,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1.

Anna tu mera Anna hai, Baba jaisa kaam na kar,
Usne jo bhi kaam kiya, bilkul waisa kaam na kar,
Anna tu mera Anna hai, Baba jaisa kaam na kar,
Usne jo bhi kaam kiya, bilkul waisa kaam na kar,
Gandhiji kehete hai anshan, achchha nahin ye netapan,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1.

Sarkar main kitni sampatti hai, baahar kitni kadki hai,
Sarkar ne bedardi meri haalat kaisi kar di hai,
Oof sarkar main kitni sampatti hai, baahar kitni kadki hai,
Sarkar ne bedardi meri haalat kaisi kar di hai,
Lokpal ko sanwidhaan main basaale, tod le sab tu uljhan,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1.

Sona kitna sona hai, sone jaise tera jan andolan,
Sun zara sun kya kehti hai, krantikari desh ki dhadkan,
Sona kitna sona hai, sone jaise tera jan andolan,
Sun zara sun kya kehti hai, krantikari desh ki dhadkan,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1,
Tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera tu mera Anna no.1.

(Original Song: Sona kitna sona hai.
Film: Hero No. 1.
Year: 1997)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

How petrol prices in India defy gravity…

Posted on by
1

Crude oil price up… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Crude oil price down… Stay put! Stay put!

Government needs money… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Government doesn’t need money… Stay put! Stay put!

Oil companies have subsidy problem… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Oil companies have no subsidy problem… Stay put! Stay put!

Oil companies make losses… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Oil companies make profits… Stay put! Stay put!

The price of everything is going up… Hike prices! Hike prices!
The price of everything is going down… Stay put! Stay put!

Demand greater that supply… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Supply greater that demand… Stay put! Stay put!

No price hike for ages… Hike prices! Hike prices!
No substantive petrol price cut ever… Stay put! Stay put!

Everything that goes up must come down?
Ha ha! You haven’t met the wizards in the Indian oil industry yet!

© Sunil Rajguru

Main politician to nahin…

Posted on by
Reply

(Original Lyrics: Main shaayar to nahin, magar ae haseen jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko shaayari aa gayi…
Song: Main shayar to nahin. Film: Bobby. Year: 1973.)

Now Kanimozhi was a shaayar to begin with. So how did she enter politics?
Her take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen rokda jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Manmohan’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae kambakht Raja ko jabse dekha, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Anna’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen andolan aur mauka jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Diggy Raja’s take…
Main spokesperson to nahin, magar ae Congress bachane ka bhoot ka virus jab se dimaag main ghusa, mujhko verbal diarrhoea aa gayi…

Rahul…
Main politician to nahin, magar kya karu, mere DNA main hain, politics aaye ya na aaye, ek din to pradhan mantra ban-na hi padega! Meri duvidha samjha karo bhai log!

Advani…
Main pradhan mantri to nahin, magar marte dum tak pradhan mantrigiri jaayegi nahin…

Maya…
Ye koi maya to nahin, par jabse maine pradhan mantri ki kursi ko dekha, aur kuch dikhai deta hi nahin…

Sonia…
Na main politician hu, na main shaayar hu, bus ek behind the scenes player hu…

Chidambaram…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae Subramanian Swamy ko jab se dekha, lagta hai ki bachi kuchi politics bhi chali jaayegi…

Pawar…
Main politician to nahin, main billionaire bhi nahin, main BCCI main bhi koi nahin, in fact main kuch bhi nahin…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

These are the sounds of silence…

Posted on by
Reply

Anna Hazare finally breaks his maun vrat!

Now all eyes on Manmohan Singh to do the same…

P.S. Sonia Gandhi ko publicly last kab kisne bolte suna hai?

P.P.S. Rahul Gandhi kab maun vrat pe ja raha hai?

(And as far as Congress spokespersons are concerned… no that’s asking for a bit too much…)

© Sunil Rajguru