Monthly Archives: March 2013

Modi and the unwinnable argument…

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Argument 1: Modi was guilty in Godhra.

If you can’t prove that, go to…

Argument 2: There is no development in Gujarat.

If you can’t prove that, go to…

Argument 3: The development figures of Gujarat are fudged.

If you can’t prove that, go to…

Argument 4: There is development in Gujarat, but it is totally lopsided, uneven and unfair.

If you can’t prove that, go to…

Argument 5: Progress in Gujarat has happened despite Modi, not because of him.

If you can’t prove that, go to Argument 1.

© Sunil Rajguru

If the Congress controlled the Internet…

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· They would reserve 50% of all websites in cyberspace for SC/ST/OBC.

· They would allow online voting in the Lok Sabha elections. Booth capturing and rigging could be done seamlessly.

· During protests like the anti-corruption and anti-rape ones, they would simply shut the Internet down.

· Every website would have a compulsory pop up ad praising the Dynasty.

· They would rename it as anti-social media and anti-social networking.

· Critics would then call it the Misinformation Superhighway.

· They would claim that Nehru invented the telephone, Indira the computer and Rajiv the Internet.

© Sunil Rajguru

Rahul musings…

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· I really admire Rahul Gandhi.
Among the class of people with absolutely no achievements, he is by far the humblest.

· Rahul: I’ll not marry.
Had Motilal taken this decision, the history of Independent India would have been unrecognizable from what it’s now.

· Rahul: I’ll not marry. I’ll not be PM.
Analysis: I’ve done nothing in the past. I am doing nothing in the present. I’ll continue doing nothing in the future.

· Sonia: Kyunki Bahu Bhi Kabhi Saas Nahin Banegi.

· What Rahul looks like saying: The Nehru-Gandhi dynasty ends with me.
What he is actually saying: The Nehru-Gandhi-Vadra dynasty continues.

· Subject: Rahul not to marry.
Movie claimed: Qurbani.
Actual movie: Bhai Ho To Aisa!

· If MMS is a night watchman, then Rahul is the over-hyped tail-ender who’s yet to come.

· Rajiv aur PM ki gaddi… pahale inkaar, phir pyaar… ab Rahul ki baari.

· Shaadi is political barbaadi, so stay single…
Vajpayee, Kalam, Rahul, Modi, Naveen, Mamata, Mayawati, Jaya, Uma…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Wharton and Modi musings…

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· Modi on Wharton’s WIEF mindshare… I came, I didn’t speak, I still conquered.

· Mr Wharton went to Mr Modi and cried and said, Keynote Speaking is poison.

· In this country, you can’t criticize Sachin, praise Modi or investigate Sonia.

· With the Wharton cancellation, Modi denied even a virtual visa to the US.

· Congress: The Family has sacrificed so much for The Country.
Modi: The Country has sacrificed so much for The Family.

· Floated Question: Will the taint of Godhra ever leave Modi?
Real Question: Will the bogey of Godhra ever leave Modi baiters?

· In truth it’s the anti-Modi mafia which is Fascist, dictatorial and intolerant in nature while condoning all communal riots in all non-BJP states.

· BJP fights till kingdom come to declare PM candidate.
Congress is much more efficient.
Announce future PM candidate the moment a dynasty member is born!

· In WIEF, IE suddenly turned into T for a lot of Indians.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Hyderabad Test musings…

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· 0-4: It can’t happen again.
0-8: So? We win at home.
1-2: OK fate, you win, we’ll try hard.
Result: 2-0. Attitude is everything.

· 11 Australian Players X 2 innings = 368 runs.
Murli Vijay + Cheteshwar Pujara X 1 innings = 371 runs.
Hamara ek aadmi aapke dus aadmi ke barabar hai!

· After Indian curry being on the menu for ages and ages, we finally have a change with Kangaroo curry.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi musings…

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· Every time Rahul Gandhi opens his mouth, the Congress loses a few thousand votes in some part of the country.

· The power of the Yuvraj: Sibal can only block websites, Rahul can block cities.

· The Foreign Hand is responsible for the destruction of India.
The Hand is the symbol of the Congress and it is totally Foreign to the aspirations of the aam aadmi.

· There is one area where Congress has gone from Videshi to Swadeshi: From blaming the Foreign Hand to the local RSS for everything.

· Free Railways WiFi will come with the message…
This bandwidth is brought to you by the Congress. You aren’t allowed to criticize us. Have a safe journey and avoid Section66A!

· Itna paisa daalte rahoge NREGA par to ek din Na Rahega paisa aur Na Rahega Congress.

· Yesterday: Ye desh hai Nehru ka, Gandhi ka.
Today: Ye desh hai Nehru-Gandhi dynasty ka.

· 2009: Left loses big at LS polls.
2011: Left loses West Bengal, Kerala.
2012: Rahul declares he will eradicate Left.
2013: Hence Left stages comeback beginning with Tripura.

© Sunil Rajguru