Tag Archives: UPA

UPA hurtles from one disaster to another…

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10 ways to counter Pakistan…
1. Denial.
2. Bluster.
3. Confusion.
4. Summon envoy.
5. Parliament Resolution.
6. Cricket ban.
7. Petition US.
8. Talk about talks.
9. Hope.
10. Forget.

They say…
1. Anna is anarchy.
2. Social media is anarchy.
3. Rajya Sabha is anarchy.
But…
It feels like there’s no Government at the Centre.
That’s anarchy.

I shudder what will happen when Pappu reads Descartes.
The poor man will just have to say…
I think I am rich therefore I am.

This government is like a cancer to the nation without a sense of humour.
In fact, it has a sense of tumour.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA-Manmohan Singh musings…

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Funny isn’t it how the Congress with 27% Lok Sabha seats (2004-09) and 38% seats (2009-13) + 29% Rajya Sabha seats has got its way in almost everything?

In 2006, Jason Gillespie was sent as a night watchman in a Test match.
He scored a double century.
In 2004, the Congress sent a night watchman to head the government.
He is still batting!

44 bills off 16 days.
If BJP helps clear them: Match-fixing!
If BJP doesn’t: Negative bowling! Not in the right spirit!

Spot the difference.
44 runs off 16 balls…
Dhoni: Theek hai.
44 bills off 16 days…
MMS: Theek hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

10 things you can do if UPA3 comes to power in 2014…

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1. Emigrate.

2. Commit suicide.

3. Demand that the BJP be banned permanently to avoid any future false hopes.

4. Demand that Modi be exiled for the sake of future peace.

5. Declare democracy dead, call ourselves a monarchy and abolish General Elections.

6. Spend like crazy. Money will soon become worthless anyway. Enjoy your last days.

7. Call him Mahatma Pappu, the official Father of the Nation.

8. Start and watch only 24X7 Diggy Raja TV. Anything anyone else says is worthless anyway in this regime.

9. Put pictures of the dynasty in your house and worship them.

10. Do away with Bills, let everything be decided via Ordinance. Why waste time debating the inevitable?

© Sunil Rajguru

Utopia to UPAtopia…

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Q: How many poor mouths will the UPA feed from now on?
A: None. They will simply shift the poverty line again and declare “Zero” numbers of poor!

Q: How is the middle class doing?
A: Great. They get to eat a full hearty meal in Re 1. That means great savings for everything else.

Q: What about the upper classes?
A: Well since they are still in the upper classes, they are doing pretty well thank you. Why are you asking?

Q: What about the scams, terror threats and enemies like Pakistan and China?
A: Were you sleeping? I just answered the above questions showing that all three classes are doing well! Who’s left? Everyone is happy. If there’s still a further problem, we can declare everything “Zero loss”.

Q: So we have reached Utopia?
A: Yes, you could call it UPAtopia.

(Arthath, “UPA” ne sab ko “topi” pahanaya)

© Sunil Rajguru