(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

In 2011, the English coach showed his cricket team Lagaan.
He is still getting his ROI over that masterstroke to this very day.

2011: 0-4.
Ab tumhe teeguna lagaan dena padega.
2012: 1-2.
Ab tumhe paanch guna lagaan dena padega.
2014: 1-3.
Ab… abbe tumne hame bankrupt kar diya teen-teen din main match khatam kar ke. Kam ticket sales aur ads se barbaad ho gaye hum! Ab dus guna lagaan dene ka bhi koi faayada nahin hai!

The next angry birds game will feature Indian batsmen as the targets and become popular among cricket fans.

Critic: What kind of a game is Test cricket? You don’t get a result in 5 days?
Indian fan: Oh, we are masters. We can get a result in 3 days flat.

The Indian batsmen’s favourite nursery rhyme is…
Ring a Ring o’ Roses.
They especially love the part…
Atishoo, atishoo, we all fall down!

Team India seniors get Rs 5 lakh per Test, or Rs 1 lakh a day.
By losing in 3 days, they’re getting Rs 1.67 lakh a day.
Boora khelo, jyaada paisa kamao!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

India’s last 3 Test innings, runs scored by…
All batsmen = 117.
All bowlers = 141.
Dhoni = 180.

Team India is the new brand ambassador for Rupa.
With so many rest days after early Test results they’ll say…
Ye aaraam ka maamla hai!

Indian Test batsmen looking at the red cricket ball and singing…
Ye laal rang kab mujhe chhodega…

Dhoni’s autobiography will be…
Last Man Standing.
First in ODIs, now in Tests too.

Tests then…
Aaj Sachin century maarega kya?
Now…
Aaj India century maarega kya?

August 15, 1947: Indians get Independence from the English.
August 15, 2014: Indian batsmen get quick Independence from English bowlers.

Finish the Tests in 3 days, destroy the ECB economy and relax for 2 days.
Smart strategy!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru