If the ISI is declared a terrorist organization by the US…
ISI: But I report directly to the Pakistan Army Chief!
Pakistan Army Chief: But I report directly to the Pakistan President!
Pakistan President: But I report directly to the US President!
US President: Hey! But I report directly to… no-one!
Terrorism always comes to a full circle as the buck always stops at the desk of the US President…
© Sunil Rajguru
∙ Left hand doesn’t know what right hand is doing?
In Pakistan, the brain doesn’t know what both hands are doing.
∙ Feels like Dhoni was born and brought up in Chennai. Won’t be surprised if he stars in Shankar’s next film speaking fluent Tamil!
(May 29)
∙ Here: ISI = Indian Standards Institute
Elsewhere: ISI = International Standards Institute of terrorists
(May 28)
∙ The IPL has just split into the Indies Premier League and the Injured Premier League.
∙ Major Iqbal doesn’t exist.
ISI-terror nexus doesn’t exist.
Osama support system never existed…
Very soon Pakistan won’t exist!
(May 27)
∙ Current political roadmap for India…
No Left turns…
No Right turns…
But still long steep road ahead…
∙ Dear Bharadwaj,
Karnataka is not fond of Pratibha Patil.
Kindly leave her out of the equation.
Regards,
Even someone who’s not a fan of Yeddy.
∙ There was Houdini, who could get out of any situation, no matter what…
Then there’s Houdhoni!
∙ It’s either Gayle or Ghayal.
RCB is an Aaya Gayle, Gaya Gayle team… totally Gayle bharose…
(May 25)
∙ From now on, the Indian version of the Punch and Judy Show will be referred to as the Hans and Yeddy Show.
∙ Charlie Sheen was the only Man in Two and a Half Men.
With the way it is going, they should rename it…
Three Half-men.
(May 20)
∙ In case of midterm polls in Karnataka, Bharadwaj should be the Cong CM candidate.
He’s the only Cong face and his aggression may well help the state.
(In 2014, if BJP wins at centre, then BSY can become Governor)
(May 16)
∙ Petrol prices in India don’t need Viagra.
They keep rising all the time no matter what…
(May 15)
∙ US-Pak ties are like a terribly failed marriage where both parties are petrified of a divorce…
(May 13)
∙ If India had to retrieve its most wanted out of Pakistan, we’d require a fleet of A380s to do so, not a bunch of choppers!
∙ I am not ashamed of being an Indian.
I am just sickeningly and totally used to it all by now.
(May 12)
∙ Right now, the US government is fantasizing of doing the same thing to Julian Assange.
∙ Second Thoughts: All Pak Armymen begin their career in Abbottabad. So it was only natural that ISI’s biggest recruit began his career there under a new boss.
(May 10)
∙ Morning Show: Phas Gaya re Osama!
Noon Show: Tere bin Laden!
(May 2)
© Sunil Rajguru
Dedicated to the Pakistani government over their policy of pretending that terrorists do not exist in their land and due apologies to Bob Dylan and his immortal song Blowin in the wind…
How many false roads must a government walk down,
Before you can see through the lies?
Through how many lies must a truth have to sail,
Before its crushed into the land?
Yes, an’ how many times must the terror bullets fly,
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
How many years can a mountain of lies exist,
Before it is washed to the sea?
Yes, an’ how many years can some terrorists exist,
Before they’re not allowed to be free?
Yes, an’ how many times must a government turn its head,
An’ pretend that it just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, it is blowin’ in the wind,
An’ the answer is blowin’ in the wind.
How many times must a government look down,
Before it can stare truth in the eye?
Yes, an’ how many ears must the State have,
Before they can hear people cry?
Yes, an’ how many deaths will it take until they know,
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
(Original Song: Blowin in the wind
Singer: Bob Dylan
Year: 1963)
This spoof by Sunil Rajguru
Rumsfeld’s “unknowns” trumped…
Did Pakistan not know Osama was in Pakistan?
(How could they not know?)
Or are they merely pretending to not know?
If Pakistan knew, then did America know that Pakistan knew?
Or is Pakistan really playing the game… Does Pakistan know that America knows that Pakistan knew?
Past: They knew. Present: They are pretending to not know. Future: Who knows?
On Osama’s tombstone…
In Life: Osama bin Laden
In Death: Osama bin Body
The moot question….
Which Body was thrown into the ocean?
The Body of Evidence?
Or…
The Body of Lies?
Crazy conspiracy theory No. 2456…
Did Obama kill Osama?
Taking a vague and far-fetched numerology equation…
Put Obama and Osama side by side.
Cancel all the common letters.
All that is left is B… and S…
BS–>BullShit!
© Sunil Rajguru
This is what the biggest blank cheque in the world looks like…
Recipient: Pakistan.
Payee: United States of America.
Bank: Federal Reserve.
Signatory: US President.
Purpose: To fight terror.
Funds actually used for: 1. Sustaining the lifestyles of the rich and famous in Pakistan. 2. Building nukes that may one day be used against America. 3. Funding the war of terror against India.
Linked Accounts: Swiss.
Validity: Decades old and still counting…
© Sunil Rajguru