Tag Archives: MMS

The wish that came true…

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Sometime in the past…
Young Indian citizen: Oh God! I’m tired of these illiterate, uneducated, crooked politicians who have no understanding of the economy ruling the country. Give an educated and understanding outsider for a change!

God: Tathastu!
Let me prepare someone… Rank holder… Oxford… Cambridge… PhD… United Nations… Planning Commission… RBI… economic whiz… honest… clean… sincere… There that should do it!

Sometime now…
Old Indian Citizen: Hey bhagwaan! Ye kis gadhe ko bhej diya hum pe raaj karne!

<Divine facepalm>

Moral: Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it!

© Sunil Rajguru

Aman ki Asha musings…

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Defence Minister: Some people dressed in Pakistani army soldiers’ uniform did it.
Citizen: Someone in the Prime Minister’s dress is ruling the country.

Foreign policies…
Theodore Roosevelt: Speak softly and carry a big stick.
Manmohan Singh: Throw away the stick and shut the hell up.

Jitna zor ye sab log Modi ko attack karne pe laga rahe hai, uska aadha energy bhi China-Pak ko counter karane main lagaate to hamari Foreign Policy effective hoti.

Forget Food Security.
What are you doing for Jawan-Kisan Security?

Q: Since the public opinion is against talks with Pakistan, don’t you…
Congress: Public opinion? Woh kya hota hai?

Pakistan’s actions are unacceptable!
(Arre babu! Accept karke unacceptable bolne se kya fayada hai bhala?)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi bashings of the day…

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· Let a 100 flowers bloom: Mao.
Let a 100 scams boom: Manmohan.

· Haath jodte hue aate hai Congressi sab,
Thappad maarte hue woh to jaayenge,
Aur hum voters Muqaddar ke Bandar jaaneman kehalayenge.

· Pachaas kos door shahar me jab Congressi ke ghar main bachcha raat ko rota hai to maa kahati hai beta so jaa… so jaa nahi to CAG aa jaayega.

· Agar MMS sach bolta…
Kya tum doodh se dhule hue ho?
Nahin, main koyala se ragada hua hu.

· Teacher: Give an example of an uncountable noun.
Student: UPAScam.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ Arybhatta invented Zero.
UPA invented hugely multiple Zero scams.
Sibal invented nullify via multiply by Zero method.
They deserve Zero votes in 2014.

∙ Woh tha Raja of 2G.
Manmohan hain Maharaja of all G (Generations of governments).

∙ Progress a la Manmohan
Jitna 1991 main economy ka size tha, us-se bada to scams ka size hain 2012 main!
OR
Yesterday
The turnover of General Motors was greater than the Union Budget of India.
Today
The size of scams is greater than the turnover of General Motors.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Books and Authors: Current Affairs

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International…

A General out of his Labyrinth!—Asif Ali Zardari

All the Prime Minister’s Women—Silvio  Berlusconi

(A sequel to All the President’s Women by Bill Clinton)

A Tale of Two Revolutions—The Unknown Egyptian Protestor

Arms and the Afghan—Mullah Omar

Blind Men of Pakistan and the War Against Terror—Maulvi Jalaluddin Haqqani

Economy…

Book of (No) Job— The Unknown Wall Street Protestor

And Quiet Flows the Cash— Another Unknown Wall Street Protestor

I Bing—Bill Gates

National…

How to Lose Friends and Influence No People—Diggy Raja

Chronicle of a Scam Foretold—Subramanian Swamy

Waste Land: The Playing Fields of CWG & F1— Mani Shankar Aiyar

Catch-22—Manmohan Singh

Heir (Not So) Apparent: A Biography of Rahul Gandhi—Arvind Kejriwal

Pride and Prejudice—Manish Tiwari

Does the Empress of India have the Emperor of Maladies?—The Non-existent Indian Journalist

Much Ado About Nothing: The truth behind 2G—Kapil Sibal

My Prison Diary—Anna Hazare

Khan Wars—Kareena Kapoor

MMS & A Series of Unfortunate Events—Pranab Mukherjee

In Search of Rahul Gandhi—An Unknown Indian Citizen

2011: War Without Victory—Manmohan Singh

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Faaltu differences…

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…between MMS (Multimedia Messaging Service) and MMS (Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India)

∙ Mobile MMS allows for unlimited exchange of messages between two parties.
Political MMS allows for absolutely no exchange of messages, with one party always being on mute or silent mode.

∙ In the Mobile MMS scandal, the MMS was directly responsible for the scandal that affected the many lives around it and cost only a few Rupees.
In the Political MMS scams, MMS was not directly responsible for the same which involved the whole nation and cost thousands of crores of Rupees.

∙ Mobile MMS is barely 10 years old and has a bright future.
Political MMS is 79 years old with an uncertain future.

∙ Political MMS is based in India and does occasional global roaming.
Mobile MMS is based everywhere in the globe and is also on roaming.

∙ Political MMS liberalized India.
Mobile MMS liberalized the world.

∙ Political MMS is an economic wizard.
Mobile MMS is a technical wizard.

∙ LK Advani hates Political MMS.
LK Advani is too old to love or hate Mobile MMS.

∙ Political MMS can use Mobile MMS.
Mobile MMS can include content related to Political MMS.

∙ Political MMS rules India.
Mobile MMS rules large sections of the youth in the world.

© Sunil Rajguru