Tag Archives: Kejri

How to prop up naqli heroes to rubbish the asli hero…

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Step 1: Always ignore whatever good work Modi does and magnify his bad work, even writing fiction.

Step 2: Make Pappu hero. When that fails…

Step 3: Make Kejri hero. When that fails…

Step 2: Make Advani hero. When that fails…

Step 4: Make Pappu hero again. When that fails again…

Step 5: Make Kejri hero again. When that fails again…

Step 6: Make Hardik hero. When that fails…

Step 7: Make Pappu hero yet again. When that fails yet again…

Step 8: Make Kejri hero yet again. When that fails yet again…

Step 9: Make Kanhaiya hero. When that fails…

Step 10: Make Pappu hero for the umpteenth time. When that fails for the umpteenth time …

Step 11: Make Kejri hero for the umpteenth time. When that fails for the umpteenth time …

Step 12: …Kanhaiya’s successor coming soon. Watch this space.

(Then of course back to Pappu and Kejri after that ad infinitum.)

© Sunil Rajguru

The politicians #AdarshLiberals love…

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India’s worst politicians at governance…
Anti-Modi Mamata.
Anti-Modi Lalu.
Anti-Modi Kejri.
Anti-Modi Akhilesh.
Verdict: Falling governance in India is Modi’s fault.

Bihar’s Lord of the Rings trilogy…
1. Fellowship of Nitish, Lalu and Pappu.
2. The Two Towers of Tejashwi and Tej Pratap.
3. The Return of the King (Lalu).

Crime happens.
1. Is criminal related to Modi’s party?
Yes = Attack Modi.
No. Go to 2.
2. Is State ruled by Modi’s party?
Yes = Attack Modi.
No. Go to 3.
3. Modi is PM. Attack him.

Congress, DMK, SP: Monarchy.
AAP, TMC, RJD: Anarchy.
ADMK, BSP: Matriarchy.

Jawaharlal Marx.
Indira Marx.
Sonia Marx.
Mamata Marx.
Jyoti Marx.
Arvind Marx.
The Marx Dynasty.
Ruling the world since 1848.

Global belief in Communism…
1848: 99% intellectuals. 1% people.
1948: 99% intellectuals. 50% people.
2048: 99% intellectuals. 0% people.

Schrodinger’s Pappu.
The whole world knows his career is dead.
Congressis think it’s still alive.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The bad CM now wants to be a worse PM…

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2019 election pitch…
I have proved to be a worse CM than Sheila.
Now please give me a chance to be a worse PM than Modi.
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

Kejri aspires to be better than Modi.
However the truth is that so far he is not even 1% of Sheila Dikshit!

_____* problem.
It’s Modi’s fault, not mine.
—Kejri.
* = Pollution. Salary. Power. Garbage. Money. Corruption. Cough. Headache. Whatever…

Top 3 IIT alumni politicians…
1. Manohar Parrikar.
2. Jairam Ramesh.
3. Krishan Kant.
Rising star—Jayant Sinha.
Worst…
Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

2015: Here’s my 2020 vision for Delhi.
2020: Here’s my 2025 vision for Delhi.
Voter: Just give me back my Delhi of 2013!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Golden Misgovernance Quadrilateral…

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West Bengal-Bihar-UP-Delhi.
The Golden Misgovernance Quadrilateral.

You can fool some of the people some of the time. (India)
You can fool some of the people all the time. (Delhi)
But you can’t fool all the people all the time.
‪#‎AAP‬

Jab take rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak rahega Bihar main Lalu,
Chalo kardu 13.5% luxury tax chalu.
Aur pata nahin main kya kya kar dalu.
—Nitish.

While ‪#‎Malda‬ is a blot, what is chilling is that it’s probably not even among Mamata’s 5 biggest blots since 2011.
‪#‎WasteBengal‬

Lalu: Super CM.
Tejaswi: Future CM.
Tej: Could be CM.
Misa: Would be CM.
Rabri: Ex-CM.
Nitish: Who?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When they destroyed their own States…

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Congress—We can destroy West Bengal.
CPM—We will destroy West Bengal.
Mamata—I have destroyed West Bengal.

2011: I’ll be India’s worst Chief Minister—Mamata.
2012: No me—Akhilesh.
2013: Me—Kejri.
2015: I wanna join—Nitish.

Kejri is 2020…
Here is a list of my 1000 achievements!
Voter: But none of these have happened!
Kejri: It’s not my fault. 500 didn’t happen because of Modi, 300 due to Jang and 200 due to Bassi.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Paanch Saal Kejriwal musings…

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AAP’s internal survey says that Arvind Kejriwal is already Chief Minister of New Delhi, though he may resign again on February 10.

Key to opinion polls…
Overestimate BJP and Modi bashing begins after results.
Underestimate BJP and Modi bashing done before results.
Either way Modi haters win.

Mr Natwarlal was released in 1979 and had a good run.
Mr Kejriwal was released in 2013 and is still running in 2015.

Delhi Assembly elections spoilt for choice…
Vote for…
a) A weak Delhi BJP.
b) A non-existent Congress.
c) A joke called AAP.
d) An impotent NOTA button.

Changing one at a time…
2011: India Against Corruption.
2013: Politics Against Corruption.
2015: Politics For Corruption.
‪#‎AAPFundingScam‬

Old Lakhan…
Dus ko main dus lakh karke dikhaa du…
New Lakhan…
Paanch ko main paanch million karke dikhaa du…

Years back an aam aadmi saw Laloo, Mulayam, Maya, Mamata, BSY etc and said…
Even I can emulate them!
And emulate them he did.
‪#‎PaanchSaalNautanki‬

Guess who?
My words are not worth even 0.5 aana.
Beggar gave me 5 Rupees.
I lasted (almost) 50 days.
My party may last 500 days.
Every day I lose 5000 supporters.
Anna gave me 5 lakh followers.
Crooks gave me 50 lakh Rupees.

Kejri’s Believe It Or Not!
Someone who worked in the Indian Revenue Service and campaigned nationally against black money is pretending that he is clueless about black money reaching the accounts he manages.

Even the Congress comes with a 5-year guarantee card.
The AAP one is valid for 49 days.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru