Tag Archives: Jungle Raj

Raj karega Lalu aur uska pariwar

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Modi: Mere paas roads hai, power hai, FDI hi, toilets hai, foreign tours hai, OROP hai… tere paas kya hai?
Lalu: Mere paas biwi, beta, beti aur sabse keemti secularism hai!

If industrialists’ kids goof up, business goes bust.
Bollywood star kids still have to work very hard.
Army officers’ kids still have to clear SSB and training.
But politician’s kids may fail, laze around, make complete asses of themselves and still be successful!
‪#‎NauviFailDyCM‬ ‪#‎Pappu‬

Chief Minister Nitish Kumar set out to be Prime Minister in 2013.
His journey has ended up with him being Half Chief Minister in 2015.
‪#‎LaluRajWapsi‬

After ‪#‎BearHug‬…
Kejri—Main Delhi ko Bihar kaise banau?
Lalu—Chinta mat kar bete, tum sahi raaste pe chal rahe ho!

Modi: I’ll give you development.
Nitish: I’ll give you Lalu.
Lalu: I’ll give you ‪#‎JungleRaj‬ & ‪#‎NauSikhiyaDyCM‬.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Wheeeee!!!!!! Lalu rocks!

2006: A = IITian Revenue officer.
2007: B = TV star.
2008: C = Delhi Daredevils player.
2015…
A = Chief Minister.
B = Cabinet Minister.
C = Deputy Chief Minister.

Congress launches the JP Movement in States like Tamil Nadu and now Bihar.
From now on it will be the JP effect everywhere.
(JP=Junior Partner)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri-Lalu bhai bhai…

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Kejri took so many U-turns that he came back to where he started.
Then he did the above so many times he became a roundabout.
Now he’s measured by revolutions per minute (rpm).

Kejri was a disaster as CM in 2014.
He then got 67 seats.
Kejri is a bigger disaster in 2015.
He will now get 70/70 seats.
‪#‎LaluBearHug‬

#‎AccheDin‬ for…
Kejri, he’s a VVIP.
Lalu, he’s back.
Sonia, so much mileage from 44 seats.
Pappu, despite infinite failures, he’s still around.
Media, still attacking Modi 24X7 and not doing real stories.

Spot the difference…
He gave bribe. I didn’t ask for it.
—Corrupt official.
I didn’t hug Lalu. He pulled and hugged me.
—Kejri.

Biggest enemy for Delhi Police…
2011—Corrupt.
2012—Rapists.
2013—Match-fixers.
2014—Kejri.
2015—AAP MLAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#BiharResults musings…

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In Modi’s first ever big State big loss in his entire career, BJP increases vote share while Bihar gets Jungle Raj and a convict as a power centre.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
BJP in Bihar…
Keep your enemies away and your friends even more away.

Fact of the day…
BJP has increased its vote share in each and every election after Modi took charge.
Winning even in more municipalities.

1947-2014: Congress was Establishment or Establishment-in-waiting.
2014-_: Despite ‪#‎BiharResults‬, Modi is still the Establishment with no-one in waiting.

If you used Tarot Cards for Indian election opinion/exit polls, you’d get the same results and save tonnes of money.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

Both Nitish and Modi are pro-development.
Nitish + Modi & allies = 51% vote share.
One way of looking at it!
‪#‎BiharResults‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Still reeling from #LaluWapsi…

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So in the end the biggest wapsi of 2015 proved to be ‪#‎LaluWapsi‬.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

Why blame uneducated voters for voting Lalu?
He has the highest support among highly educated intellectuals.
‪#‎LaluWapsi‬ ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak rahega Bihar-UP-WB main Jungle Raj chalu.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

2010, 4/243—01.65% strike rate.
2015, 27/41—65.9% strike rate.
Near 7-fold growth.
Sabse badi tarakki to Pappu ki hui hai!
‪#‎BiharResults‬ ‪#‎Cong‬

He had said he would rule for 20 years.
15 down. 5 more to go.
‪#‎LaluWapsi‬ ‪#‎BiharResults‬

What next?
Mamata 275/295 seats in West Bengal.
Mulayam 370/403 seats in Uttar Pradesh.
‪#‎BiharResults‬ ‪#‎JungleRajRules‬

Yesterday…
BiMARU: Sick States of Bihar, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh.
Tomorrow…
BUND: Development bandh States of Bihar-Bengal, Uttar Pradesh and New Delhi.

#‎BiharResults‬
Huge winners…
Lalu.
Sonia.
Media.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬…
Big winner…
Nitish.
Huge losers…
Modi.
Amit Shah.
Opinion/exit pollsters.
Biggest loser…
Humble Bihari citizen who’ll see a return to total anarchy!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega Lalu…

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1967—Jewel Thief.
1996—Return of Jewel Thief.
1990—Fodder Thief.
2015—Return of Fodder Thief.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

1. Laloo ko Bihar se hatana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
2. Bihar main development lana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.

I brought development.
—Modi.
I brought Laloo.
—Nitish.
I brought myself out of jail.
—Laloo.

Jungle (Raj) main mangal ho gaya hai babuwa!

1990: Laloo stops Advani Rath Yatra.
2015: Laloo stops Modi Development Rath Yatra.

Laloo ruled for 15 years from 1990-2005.
Another 15 year stint may begin.
Best of luck Bihar!

The tenacity with which Bihar votes for Laloo for decade upon decade never ceases to amaze me.
Jab take rahega samosa main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Bihar main Laloo.

Nitish stays Bihar Chief Minister.
Pappu becomes Congress President.
Laloo becomes 2019 PM candidate.
And all is right with the world.

Lalu entered student politics in 1970.
So Bihari politics has been tolerating him for 45 years now.
It will tolerate his family for 45 years more.
‪#‎IndiaIsTolerant‬

Lalu was right about winning 190 seats.
RJD will get 190 seats on its own in the 2020 Bihar elections.

#‎MeraLalooMahaan‬ bole…
‪#‎BiharVoters‬
‪#‎AwardWapsiGang‬
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬
‪#‎LutyensClub‬
‪#‎Nitishwa‬
‪#‎SoniaAurPappu‬
‪#‎KejriAurMamata‬
‪#‎MSM‬

Eventually Laloo will emerge as the greatest Bihari of all time.

#‎ReturnOfJungleRaj‬
‪#‎LalooIsBiharBiharIsLaloo‬
‪#‎NitishKnowsBiharBest‬
‪#‎RiseOfMisa‬
‪#‎BiharGayaTelLene‬
‪#‎RajyaSabhaDoorHai‬ (for BJP)
‪#‎NoModiWave‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru