Tag Archives: Diggy Raja

News in Limericks 4

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There was this movie called Ra.One,
Which was worse than this film called Raavan,
But it made its crores n crores n crores,
Despite all its bores n bores n bores,
Aur abhi viewers ka aa gaya hai maran!

There was this concert of Metallica,
That finally hit New Delhi in India,
But it quickly became a no show,
And the fans just didn’t want to go,
Aur sab ne mil kar stage ka barricade ko hi phod diya!

There was this Team of the Anna,
Jiska unity gaya khaane ganna,
One talked Kashmir and two did quit,
The others didn’t like it one little bit,
Aur ab credibility solah aane se ho gaya chaar aana!

There was this man called Diggy Raja,
Jiska jab dekho bajta tha baaja,
He talked n talked and talked,
And talked n talked and talked,
Hey Bhagwan Bharat ko kyun dee itni badi saza!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more DRPJs (Diggy Raja PJs)

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∙ Diggy Raja’s infalliable logic…
The RSS was founded in 1925.
That proves that everything that went wrong in India over the last 86 years is the fault of the RSS!

∙ Someone recently said that Diggy Raja is not part of the Government.
That’s false.
He’s the Lifelong and Honorary Minister of State for Spin.
A Bollywood film of his life story will be called Wag the Cow.

∙ Once Diggy Raja was presented with a box of oranges.
He called the police.
Nagpur is famous for oranges and also the founding of the RSS.
There are no such things as co-incidences.

∙ The RSS wanted Tere Sang to be banned because a 15-year-old girl gets pregnant in that Bollywood movie.
Diggy Raja wanted it banned because he thought it was part of the Sangh Parivar and spelt as Tere Sangh.

∙ Why doesn’t Diggy Raja celebrate Vijay Dashami?
Because the RSS was founded on that day!

∙ Another Faaltu full form of RSS…
(Diggy) Raja’s Swayam-banaye-hue Surmises.

∙ During Independence, some Congress leaders wanted the RSS to merge with the Congress.
That contradiction made Diggy Raja’s head spin.
His head is still spinning.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 8

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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Sonia.
Sonia who?
Even I’m wondering that. Who she really is, where she really went for her surgery and what she really did, when she will fix matters and how she’ll get her party out of the current mess…

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
No. 1.
No. 1 who?
Good cricketing question. What happened to Australia and South Africa? India got thrashed in England and England got thrashed in India. So who is No. 1?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
RSS.
RSS who?
RSS who isn’t? if you follow Diggy Raja’s lead, that is.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ra.One.
Ra.One who?
Rascala One hundred crore bolo! By the time on Monday people realize what a bakwaas movie it is, SRK would be laughing all the way to the bank!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dhoni.
Dhoni who?
Yes, that’s what the “wickets column” of the scorecard is also asking nowadays.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood movies on Indian politics, the sequel

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The UPA series…

Chalti Ka Naam 2G and its sequel Badhti Ka Naam 3G

Maine Satta Kyun Liya, starring Manmohan Singh

Laaga Sarkar Pe Daag

Roti Kapada Aur Makaan @ Rs 32 Prati Din

Mujhse Deal Karoge? starring Niira Radia

Badmaash Company, starring Congress and Allies

We Are Family, starring Karunanidhi, Kanimozhi & Dayanidhi with Andimuthu Raja as the villain

Hum Kisise Kum Nahin, starring Andimuthu Raja

Do Term Barah Scam

Bhool Bhulaiyaa, the route taken by all CBI investigations

Kati Patang, the real story of UPA2

Aaj Ka Chacha Aur Bhatija, starring Sharad & Ajit Pawar

3 Idiots, UPA cut, starring Prashant Bhushan, Arvind Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi with Anna Hazare playing the role Virus, the hard taskmaster

Kabhi Kursi Kabhi Scam

The Diggy Raja Series…

3 Idiots, with Diggy as Rancho who has a solution to all Congress problems, ably supported by Kapil Sibal and Manish Tiwari

No Problem (For Diggy everything is always fine anyway)

Kyun Ki Main Jhooth Nahin Bolta

Black money series…

Black Main Rang de Basanti

Kal Ho Na Ho, Bharat Ko Loot Lo

Cheque (cash, kind, favour, kuch bhi) de India

Apna Sapna Black Money

Ek Aur Ek, Ek Sau Gyarah

Aamdani Atthani Kharcha Hazaar Rupaiya

One Two Ka Four Thousand

Note: Hera Pheri sequels got so many, that they have been converted into a daily soap on TV.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Books and Authors: Indian politics section

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The Merchant of 2G: A Raja

Discovery of Corruption in India: Subramanian Swamy

Decline And Fall of the Congress Empire: Anna Hazare

Death of a Prime Minister: An autobiography by Manmohan Singh

Invisible Man: A biography of Manmohan Singh by LK Advani

Such a Long Journey, A Story of all my Rath Yatras: LK Advani

I Follow the Anna: Kiran Bedi

Blind Men of Hindoostan in The Corruption War: Arvind Kejriwal

The Book of Revelations, India Chapter: Julian Assange

A Suitable Boy (For the PM’s Post): Diggy Raja

Diggy Raja in RSSland: Where our hero plays the Mad Hatter, the grinning Cheshire Cat and the Mocking Turtle all in one for the Queen of Hearts of the Congress Party

All’s Well That Ends Well, A Prediction for 2014: Kapil Sibal

All the Queen’s Spokesmen: Manish Tiwari

Character Assassination of a PM: Pranab Mukherjee

A Statue for Ms Mayawati: Satish Misra

Only Full Stops in India: Prashant Bhushan

Anna Hazare Ha, Ha, Ha: Mani Shankar Aiyar

Lokpal-The Gathering Storm: Anna Hazare

The Prisoners of Tihar: Amar Singh

Passage to England: MS Dhoni

Passage to India: Alastair Cook

The Lokpal Odyssey Series…

1963: Odyssey One, 1968: Odyssey Two, 1971: Odyssey Three, 1985: Odyssey Four, 1989: Odyssey Five, 2011: Odyssey Six…

Coming Soon: Lokapl, the Final Odyssey: Abhishek Manu Singhvi

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Diggy Raja Times…

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Here is the news today…

∙ Libyan leader Muhammed Gadaffi was finally killed thanks to the close ties he had developed with the RSS in the last days of his life. His views of Kashmir were highly biased since they were influenced by RSSRSS (Really Simple Syndication of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh).

∙ The Bangalore Metro finally took off because BSY, who is extremely high on RSS radiation, is no longer in charge. The relatively low level of RSS contamination faced by Sadanand Gowda greatly helped matters.

∙ The RSS Virus has finally turned Team Anna into a sick patient. I had warned earlier that it was severely affected with the RSS Virus and the symptoms are there for everyone to see now: Infighting, dissent, loss of credibility and corruption.

∙ The RSS Virus has also hit Team England who were fit enough to beat us on their soil, but have fallen sick after coming to India. There is a Patel in the team and all Patels are close to Narendra Modi. That could be the source of infection.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru