The Diggy Raja Doublespeak Show of 2011

After reading Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, Diggy Raja turned to George Orwell’s 1984 and was quite impressed with the whole concept of Doublespeak…

Prashant Bhushan attacks corruption… The BJP is backing him!
Prashant Bhushan gets attacked… The BJP is beating him!

Anna Hazare attacks RSS… He is lying!
RSS backs Anna Hazare… They are telling the truth, hence proved that Anna Hazare was lying as my previous statement showed!

Manmohan Singh as PM… He is the best PM and so should stay.
Rahul Gandhi as PM… He will be even greater and so should become.

On Anna Hazare… Anna is RSS RSS RSS!
On Team Anna… Anna Hazare is an honest and simple man. People are misusing his name.

On Anna Hazare’s fast… We will give him the Baba Ramdev treatment!
On Sanjiv Bhatt’s arrest… This is a burning example of fascist thinking and fascist government.

Chidambaram and Naxalism… He is intellectually arrogant.
Chidambaram and corruption… Sangh has made him a target.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Diggy Raja musings…

Anna Hazare definitely needs Z+ Security from the verbal assaults and character assassination attempts from the fleet Congress spokespersons, particularly Diggy Raja.

Who says India doesn’t have good stand-up comedians?
Diggy Raja is world class.

Given enough time, Diggy Raja will blame the RSS even for JFK’s assassination.

Diggy Raja is totally sane.
It’s the world that’s mad.

Height of conspiracy…
Diggy Raja is an RSS agent.

If Diggy Raja was made the Lokpal, then he’d shut the office in two minutes flat saying that there is no corruption in India.

Jitna fast Anna ko stomachache nahin deta, us-se kahin jyaada Diggy Raja us-se headache deta hain.

Arundhati Roy is not an Independent Republic. Diggy Raja is.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

July 2011 Status Updates

∙ Here’s hoping that the English Lords find Trent a Bridge too far…

(July 29)

∙ Yeddy… (2008)
Steady… (2009)
Go… (2010)
Finally went! (2011)
(Note: UPA still “Steady” in 2011)

(July 28)

∙ Prayer for Kalmadi-type blokes…
Oh God forgive them for they remember not what they have done!

(July 25)

∙ The Congress has finally hit out strongly against terrorism!
(Key: Diggy Raja=Raja Harishchandra. RSS=Terrorists. Slap=Retaliatory Action.)

(July 18)

∙ Somewhere in Wonderland…
Alice Kingsley: I try to believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Somewhere in India…
Diggy Raja: I try to say as many as six impossible things before the last Press Conference.

(July 12)

∙ In Facebook, you can be a friend without really knowing a person.
You can have a 100 mutual friends despite being absolute strangers.
Like pen friends, what are we?
Mouse friends? Keyboard friends? News Feed friends? Wall friends? Status friends?

∙ Cabinet Reshuffle: DMK eyeing Minister of State for Home.
Reason: All its Ministers have left their Home State for Tihar Jail…
…and prisons come under the above-mentioned ministry.

∙ Emraan Hashmi movies look really good.
Fresh heroines, great songs and different plots.
I probably would have watched all of them had it not been for Emraan Hashmi.

(July 9)

∙ Foreign coach: Never give up on Hope!
First Indian athlete: Woh kya bola re? Accent gadbad hai.
Second Indian athlete: I think… Never give up on dope!

∙ Yesterday: India was a nation of no-hopers in Sports.
Today: It desperately wants to be a nation of no-dopers!

(July 8 )

∙ Trillion Rupee Babies…
Holy Wealth: Padmanabhaswamy Temple
Scam Maker: A Raja
Tax Evader: Hasan Ali
While temples are desi, for the rest, its Indo-Swiss bhai bhai!

(July 7)

∙ Lokpal to be renamed Netapal as it will end up protecting politicians instead of the people.
Corrupt log pal pal bach gaye!

∙ The only “natural” thing for Ghulam Nabi Azad and his government is men having shady deals with other men (MSDM). Any absence of that is a “disease” which has to be cured. Example, Anna Hazare.

(July 5)

∙ The Indian version of Waiting for Godot is Waiting for Lokpal.
Conceived in 1969, yet to be born even in 2011.
Veerappan and Prabhakaran were caught in lesser time.

∙ Like Google+ our politicians should launch a social networking site called Corruption+

(July 4)

∙ Novak is the Serbian word for new.
Djokovic means following after.
Looks like a “New” age of competition will “Follow after” the Federer-Nadal era of monotony.

(July 3)

∙ World cricket is a closed loop.
BCCI = Board of Control of Cricket in ICC.
ICC = India’s Cricket Council.

(July 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

June 2011 Status Updates

∙ R.I.P. LokPal. You never really had a chance.
Long live LokPol scams!
Diggy jeeta. Anna hara.
Jao sab ghar jaa ke so jao.

∙ Diggy Raja’s foot partially eclipsed his mouth some months back.
The eclipse is expected to last till atleast till Rahul Beta becomes PM.
After that, the eclipse will be total!

(June 30)

∙ News: MMS says that he is not a lame duck PM.
Comment: True! At least a lame duck has one good leg!

(June 29)

∙ Good News: Baba Ramdev out of danger.
Bad News: Lokpal Bill still in ICU.

(June 11)

∙ Once eager to give Baba Ramdev a banquet, the Congress right now is not even interested in giving him Fast Food…

(June 10)

∙ Fasting Anna. Fleeing Baba. Weeping Acharya. Dancing Sushma. Shoehurling “journo”. Fuming Sibal. Loosetalking Diggy. Unfortunate Singh. Unavoidable tamasha. Silent Sonia. Invisible Rahul. Returning Sadhavi…
Ye Bill LokPal Bill nahin, LokNatak hai!
P.S. Can’t wait for tomorrow’s developments!

(June 7)

∙ There was this Facebook birthday wish refrain,
Which came like a runaway train,
Not once but again,
and again and again,
and again and again and again!

(June 6)

∙ Like Good Cop Bad Cop, Cong plays a version of Good Politician Bad Politician on all issues, with Digvijay Singh always being the Bad Politician…

(June 4)

© Sunil Rajguru

Really bad Diggy Raja PJs…

∙ Many years back, Diggy Raja lost his voice.
Then he became the world’s first recipient of a foot-for-tongue transplant.
God forgive him for he knows not what he says!

∙ The protestors are RSS…
Baba is RSS…
Anna is RSS…
The shoe hurler is RSS…
This is RSS…
That is RSS…
The only RSS with relation to Diggy Raja stands for “Really Stupid Statements”!

∙ Diggy Raja is a great fan of Goebbels.
Goebbels once said something to the effect of…
If you repeat a lie a hundred times it becomes a truth. The greater the lie, the greater chance it has of becoming a greater truth.
The Diggy Raja remixed version…
If you say a hundred stupid statements a hundred times, they still remain stupid statements, but atleast the speaker feels smart!
The more stupider the statement, the greater the sense of smartness.
(Now you know why Diggy Raja feels chuffed all the time)

© Sunil Rajguru