Tag Archives: bollywood

Maan gaye Mughal-e-Azam

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How to make a blockbuster, Bollywood style…

One super-childish video game + One petty and illogical supervillain + One stupid and strong superhero + One incoherent plot and storyline + One bad music album + Basic Level One Science Fiction + Premium Grade One hype + One Superstar =
Rs One hundred crore and multiples of that sum.

Ra.One. Wah.One. Well DOne!

Dhanya ho Bollywood!

Directors, story writers, heroines… sab gaye tel lene, all you need is One Superstar per movie, everything else is irrelevant.

Shahrukh Khan the entertainer died in 2008.
Shahrukh Khan the businessman lives on, getting stronger by the day!

P.S. Which gaming company in their right frame of mind names their premier game as Random Access One?

Stage set for Ra.One.Two or Ra.Two or Ra2.0 for multiples of Rs Two Hundred crores?

© Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood movies on Indian politics, the sequel

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The UPA series…

Chalti Ka Naam 2G and its sequel Badhti Ka Naam 3G

Maine Satta Kyun Liya, starring Manmohan Singh

Laaga Sarkar Pe Daag

Roti Kapada Aur Makaan @ Rs 32 Prati Din

Mujhse Deal Karoge? starring Niira Radia

Badmaash Company, starring Congress and Allies

We Are Family, starring Karunanidhi, Kanimozhi & Dayanidhi with Andimuthu Raja as the villain

Hum Kisise Kum Nahin, starring Andimuthu Raja

Do Term Barah Scam

Bhool Bhulaiyaa, the route taken by all CBI investigations

Kati Patang, the real story of UPA2

Aaj Ka Chacha Aur Bhatija, starring Sharad & Ajit Pawar

3 Idiots, UPA cut, starring Prashant Bhushan, Arvind Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi with Anna Hazare playing the role Virus, the hard taskmaster

Kabhi Kursi Kabhi Scam

The Diggy Raja Series…

3 Idiots, with Diggy as Rancho who has a solution to all Congress problems, ably supported by Kapil Sibal and Manish Tiwari

No Problem (For Diggy everything is always fine anyway)

Kyun Ki Main Jhooth Nahin Bolta

Black money series…

Black Main Rang de Basanti

Kal Ho Na Ho, Bharat Ko Loot Lo

Cheque (cash, kind, favour, kuch bhi) de India

Apna Sapna Black Money

Ek Aur Ek, Ek Sau Gyarah

Aamdani Atthani Kharcha Hazaar Rupaiya

One Two Ka Four Thousand

Note: Hera Pheri sequels got so many, that they have been converted into a daily soap on TV.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Mere paas maa hai works in almost every Bollywood film

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The dialogue from the film Deewar is so powerful, that it can almost be used in any Bollywood movie…

Deewar (The original)
Amitabh Bachchan: Mere paas gaadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai… tumhare paas kya hain?
Shashi Kapoor: Mere paas maa hain!

Paa
Abhisheik Bachchan: Mere paas gaadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai, political status hai… tumhare paas kya hain?
Amitabh Bachchan: Mere paas maa hain!

Om Shanti Om
Arjun Rampal: Mere paas gaadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai, Hollywood career hai… tumhare paas kya hain?
Shahrukh Khan: Mere paas pichhle janam ki maa hain!

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham…
Shahrukh Khan: Mere paas gaadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai, London main business hai… tumhare paas kya hain?
Amitabh Bachchan: Mere paas tumhari maa hain!

Mother India
Sunil Dutt: Mere paas ghoda hain, bandook hain, power hai, paisa hai, gang hai, tumhare paas kya hain?
Rajendra Kumar: Mere paas maa hai!

3 Idiots
Aamir Khan: Mere paas.. maa nahin hai!
Kareena Kapoor: Mere paas… bhi maa nahin hai!
Aila ye kaisi movie hai!

Ghajini
Aamir Khan: Mere paas gaadi, bangla, bank balance… hain kya? Bhool gaya!
Aamir Khan again: Mere paas maa… hain kay? Bhool gaya!

Fictional Saas-bahu movie…
Pati: (Krodhit ho ke) Mere paas gaadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai… tumhare paas kya hai?
Patni: (Ro ro ke) Mere paas tumhari maa hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Those lucky Bollywood star children…

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Tere baap ka raj hain kya?
Abhisheik Bachchan: Haan!

Don ko remake karta hai? Woh kahani kya tere baap ne likhi thi?
Farhan Akhtar: Haan!

Mere paas talent hain, tere paas kya hain?
Kareena: Mere paas maa, baap, behen, chacha, chachi, dada, pardada, chachera bhai…

Tu jaanta nahin mera baap kaun hai?
Nahin!
Aur mera baap?
Nahin!
Aur mera?
Nahin!
Saala, Bollywood movies hi nahin dekhta!

© Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood movies on today’s politics…

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Kab Tak Chhup Rahunga! followed by its sequel Meri Awaaz Suno, starring Manmohan Singh

Dilli Ka Thug, starring Baba Ramdev and directed by Diggy Raja

Ready (for PM’s post), starring Rahul Beta and directed by Diggy Raja

Golmaal 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 & 8, a multi-star cast from UPA 2

Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge?, starring the Tatas and directed by Mamata

Hum Aapke Hain Koun…!, starring Karunanidhi and its sequel Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage, starring Jayalalitha, both directed by Sonia Gandhi

Pardes, a sweet love story about Indian black money dancing in Switzerland

Chor Machaye Shor & Paisa Khaaya To Darna Kya, starring Kanimozhi and Dayanidhi Maran

Beta, starring Rahul and directed by Sonia

UPA Teri Sarkar Maili, another multi-star cast from UPA 2

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Post Assembly poll filmi musings…

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Mamata: Guzaarish hai ki mere paas Railways rahe.
Sonia: Hmmm… waise bhi tumne Railways ko Guzaarish ka Hrithik bana ke chhod diya!
West Bengal: Arre! Guzaarish ka Hirthik to hum ban ke raha gaye 34 saal main!
Mamata kya hai, koi na jaane…
Dawa hai ya euthnasia?
Jald pata chalega…

Jaya: Ab yahan ke hum Sikander, chahe to kar le Karuna, Kani wagere ko apne jail ke andar…

Buddha: Hum Dono Ghayal ho gaye re!
Karuna: Chinta mat kar, Indian voter ko Ghajini ki tarah short term memory loss hai, agle elections tak sab bhool jaayenge.
Buddha: Sahi re! Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna!

Prakash Karat, Sitaram Yechuri and Buddhadeb decided to unwind in India Coffee House.
They were discussing Bollywood films.
A bearer came and was asked, “3 Idiots dekha kya?”
The bearer replied, “Wohi to dekh raha hu abhi!”

Sonia Gandhi at the Centre.
Jayalalitha from the South.
Mayawati and Shiela Dixit from the North.
Mamata Banerjee from the East.
Pratibha Patil from the West.
Now Showing: Mother India

Now showing in Chennai for 20 years and running…
Kabhi Karuna Kabhi Amma

Golmaal 1: Adarsh
Golmaal 2: CWG
Golmaal 3: 2G
Coming soon: Golmaal 4, will be released before the 2012 elections.

Singh is King gaya tel lene…
Ab bolo…
Amma is Queen
Didi is Queen
etc

Overheard…
Congress to DMK: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun?

Now Showing in Kolkata…
My Name is Communist (And I am not a failure!)

Coming in 2012
Voters: The Chase Begins Again

© Sunil Rajguru