#BiharResults musings…

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In Modi’s first ever big State big loss in his entire career, BJP increases vote share while Bihar gets Jungle Raj and a convict as a power centre.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
BJP in Bihar…
Keep your enemies away and your friends even more away.

Fact of the day…
BJP has increased its vote share in each and every election after Modi took charge.
Winning even in more municipalities.

1947-2014: Congress was Establishment or Establishment-in-waiting.
2014-_: Despite ‪#‎BiharResults‬, Modi is still the Establishment with no-one in waiting.

If you used Tarot Cards for Indian election opinion/exit polls, you’d get the same results and save tonnes of money.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

Both Nitish and Modi are pro-development.
Nitish + Modi & allies = 51% vote share.
One way of looking at it!
‪#‎BiharResults‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Still reeling from #LaluWapsi…

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So in the end the biggest wapsi of 2015 proved to be ‪#‎LaluWapsi‬.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

Why blame uneducated voters for voting Lalu?
He has the highest support among highly educated intellectuals.
‪#‎LaluWapsi‬ ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak rahega Bihar-UP-WB main Jungle Raj chalu.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

2010, 4/243—01.65% strike rate.
2015, 27/41—65.9% strike rate.
Near 7-fold growth.
Sabse badi tarakki to Pappu ki hui hai!
‪#‎BiharResults‬ ‪#‎Cong‬

He had said he would rule for 20 years.
15 down. 5 more to go.
‪#‎LaluWapsi‬ ‪#‎BiharResults‬

What next?
Mamata 275/295 seats in West Bengal.
Mulayam 370/403 seats in Uttar Pradesh.
‪#‎BiharResults‬ ‪#‎JungleRajRules‬

Yesterday…
BiMARU: Sick States of Bihar, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh.
Tomorrow…
BUND: Development bandh States of Bihar-Bengal, Uttar Pradesh and New Delhi.

#‎BiharResults‬
Huge winners…
Lalu.
Sonia.
Media.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬…
Big winner…
Nitish.
Huge losers…
Modi.
Amit Shah.
Opinion/exit pollsters.
Biggest loser…
Humble Bihari citizen who’ll see a return to total anarchy!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega Lalu…

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1967—Jewel Thief.
1996—Return of Jewel Thief.
1990—Fodder Thief.
2015—Return of Fodder Thief.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

1. Laloo ko Bihar se hatana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
2. Bihar main development lana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.

I brought development.
—Modi.
I brought Laloo.
—Nitish.
I brought myself out of jail.
—Laloo.

Jungle (Raj) main mangal ho gaya hai babuwa!

1990: Laloo stops Advani Rath Yatra.
2015: Laloo stops Modi Development Rath Yatra.

Laloo ruled for 15 years from 1990-2005.
Another 15 year stint may begin.
Best of luck Bihar!

The tenacity with which Bihar votes for Laloo for decade upon decade never ceases to amaze me.
Jab take rahega samosa main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Bihar main Laloo.

Nitish stays Bihar Chief Minister.
Pappu becomes Congress President.
Laloo becomes 2019 PM candidate.
And all is right with the world.

Lalu entered student politics in 1970.
So Bihari politics has been tolerating him for 45 years now.
It will tolerate his family for 45 years more.
‪#‎IndiaIsTolerant‬

Lalu was right about winning 190 seats.
RJD will get 190 seats on its own in the 2020 Bihar elections.

#‎MeraLalooMahaan‬ bole…
‪#‎BiharVoters‬
‪#‎AwardWapsiGang‬
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬
‪#‎LutyensClub‬
‪#‎Nitishwa‬
‪#‎SoniaAurPappu‬
‪#‎KejriAurMamata‬
‪#‎MSM‬

Eventually Laloo will emerge as the greatest Bihari of all time.

#‎ReturnOfJungleRaj‬
‪#‎LalooIsBiharBiharIsLaloo‬
‪#‎NitishKnowsBiharBest‬
‪#‎RiseOfMisa‬
‪#‎BiharGayaTelLene‬
‪#‎RajyaSabhaDoorHai‬ (for BJP)
‪#‎NoModiWave‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi woes post Bihar elections…

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New millennium truth…
Even a newbie politician can be CM of Delhi, not a BJPian.
Even a housewife can be CM of Bihar, not a BJPian.
‪#‎DelhiPatnaDoorHai‬

Modi…
2012-14: Won India, Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, Chhattisgarh, Maharashtra, Haryana, Jharkhand, Jammu & Kashmir.
2015: Lost New Delhi and Bihar.
He is after all human!

Narendra Modi…
Fighting against heavy odds all his life.
So, the heavy odds simply continue!

#‎AccheDin‬ have finally arrived for all ‪#‎ModiHaters‬.

Mahagatbandhan 1 = Bihar = JDU + RJD + Congress.
Mahagatbandhan 2 = West Bengal = TMC + CPM + Congress.
Mahagatbandhan 3 = Uttar Pradesh = SP + BSP + Congress.

Modi leads Modi Haters 734-2*.
(*1=Delhi polls is a loss as most of them live in Delhi which is falling apart under Kejri.
2=Bihar under Laloo will also crash.)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The way Bihar & Co. vote…

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New Year resolution for 2016…
Forget trying to understand Bihari politics forever.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

Opinion polls gaye tel lene.
Exit polls gaye tel lene.
Early trends gaye tel lene.
Bihar development gaya tel lene.

Mahagatbandhan will be Mahagadbad for development.

2014 elections…
Modi for PM.
Modi for CM.
2015 elections…
Nitish for CM.
Laloo for PM (2019).

Bihar returns to 1990 as India heads to 2020.
Pappu returns to 2004 promise and also to 2019 hope.

In 2004 they kicked out development champions like Krishna, Naidu and Vajpayee.
In 2015 they brought back jokers like Kejri and Laloo.
‪#‎IndianElectorate‬

Can’t trust Opinion Polls.
Can’t trust Exit Polls.
Can’t even trust Trends on D-Day!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When logic exited from polls…

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#‎BiharExitPolls‬ commentary:
Last ball coming up…
BJP could lose by 100 runs, win by 100 runs or it could be a tie!!!

Schrodinger’s Election…
NDA is getting both a landslide and a thrashing at the same time.

#‎BiharExitPolls‬ questionnaire…
Who will win?
1. BJP+.
2. JDU+.
3. None of the above.
4. All of the above.

Would you like a burger?
Yes.
And some fries?
Yes.
And we’ll throw in a customized Bihar exit poll of your choice for no extra charge!

First only columns showed a bias.
Then edits.
Then news.
Then opinion polls.
Now even exit polls.

Something is rotten in the state of Polls.
‪#‎SabJeeteBiharInExitPolls‬

Kal saare opinion/exit polls ki pol khul jaayegi!
‪#‎BiharVerdict‬

It’s any era of personalization.
Every media house makes its own news and polls.

#‎MeraBiharExitPoll‬
Only one party has a chance of getting seats in 3-digits.
Most parties will get seats in 1 or 2-digits.
Some may even get 0 seats.

#‎MeraBiharExitPoll‬
Nitish ya koi aur CM hoga ya President’s Rule hoga.

Predicted seats wons in Bihar polls…
BJP 0-159.
JDU 0-101.
RJD 0-101.
Cong 0-41.
LJP 0-40.
RLSP 0-23.
HAM 0-21.
There—Can’t go wrong!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru