The truth about the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

2001: America invades Afghanistan.
2015: Proves to be longest war in the history of America with 2300 Americans dead and 22,000 injured. 10,000 US troops still in Afghanistan as the long-term effects of this are uncertain.

December 2015 Status Updates

Posted on January 1, 2016 by Sunil Rajguru

1947-2014—Years of Tolerance (As we tolerated ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬).
2015—Year of Intolerance (As we finally refused to tolerate them).

Aap kitna bhi wish kar lo par 2016 main Pappu, Kejri, Akhilesh, Lalu aur Mamata nahin sudharne waale hai!

(December 31)

West Punjab became Punjab.
East Punjab became Punjab.
East Bengal became East Pakistan.
East Pakistan became Bangladesh.
West Bengal remains West Bengal.

(December 26)

Always Bush vs Bill…
1992: Bush I loses to Bill Clinton.
2000: Bush II beats Bill’s deputy.
2016: Bush III can’t even compete with Bill’s wife.

(December 24)

If a tennis player thrashes someone 6-0 6-0 in 25 minutes, is it the court’s problem or the loser’s?
Why blame the Nagpur pitch if South Africans played crap?
#TestCricket

(December 22)

Dilwale Box Office Le Jaayenge.
Par Bajrangi Bhaijaan Aur Prem Ratan Jyaada Dhan Payo.

You may have heard of 2-minute noodles.
Well Miss Columbia was a 2-minute Miss Universe.
‪#‎MissUniverse2015‬

New opening strategy…
Gambhir, tu Jaitley ko defend kar aur Sehwag, tu unke opponents ko attack kar!

(December 21)

Indian selector…
Ashish Nehra ko retire karwana
+ Rohit Sharma ko drop karna
mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

(December 19)

Dear celebrity,
If you think that the number of trolls is greater than the number of genuine users then maybe you are the actual troll.

(December 17)

3 Principles of Pakistani foreign policy…
1. Hate India.
2. Do whatever America says.
3. That’s it.

It is nothing but the union of Union Carbide and DuPont with zero justice to the victims of the Bhopal Gas Tragedy.

Ek fighter jet ki keemat tum kya jaano Erdogan Babu!
—Vladimir Putin in “No Shanti No”.
‪#‎RussiaTurkeyCrisis‬ ‪#‎ISIS‬

(December 4)

South Africa continues to show supreme intolerance to Rohit Sharma’s immense talent.
‪#‎IndvsSA‬ ‪#‎4thTest‬

(December 3)

The money spent on all these climate conferences is probably 10 times greater than all money spent on flood relief.
‪#‎COP21‬ ‪#‎TamilNaduRains‬

Tests!
No results in 5 days = Problem.
Result in 3 days = Problem.
Green pitches = Problem.
Crumbling pitches = Problem.
Dead pitches = Problem.

(December 2)

#‎SaveWhitefield‬ (from traffic)
‪#‎SaveBengaluru‬ (from garbage and power woes)
‪#‎SaveKarnataka‬ (from plummeting governance)

Indo-Pak heads of State have met a million times.
Yet when they meet for the one million and first time, go ballistic by praising or rubbishing the meet.
‪#‎COP21‬

(December 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Recycled old New Year musings…

Posted on December 31, 2015 by Sunil Rajguru

• You know that New Year Resolutions are just another form of GIGO, called RIRO…
GIGO=Garbage In Garbage Out.
RIRO=Resolution In Resolution Out.

• Does the collective optimism of a few billion people on the eve of December 31 actually help kick-start a new year better?

• If it’s a really good resolution, then you don’t have to wait till the New Year.
And if you’ve put off the resolution for the New Year, then the Resolution may well continue to be put off way after that.

• Does Father Time suddenly look at the date and find it’s December 31 and say: Oh God! A year has ended; let me change the luck/fortune of this world/country/person/group?
That decade was so… 2009 was so… are such artificial constructs. Fortunes and eras don’t wait for a date, beginning and ending at any time they please. They could last for a second, 17 days, 8 months, 13.5 years or 7.34567 decades.

∙ In 1752, the calendar went straight from September 3 to 13 to adjust the calendar.
Protest the lost days!
Celebrate New Year on January 12!

• The only reason there is more hope and optimism with every successive December 31 is because the firecrackers are getting better and more in number.

• The media is managing to dig up more and more depressing news with every successive year. That helps with the optimism part on December 31 night at least!

• Does a New Year’s Day really change anything? Does every Birthday really change your perspective? Does an anniversary change fortunes? For me there are only two types of days: Holidays and Working Days. Any other classification is irrelevant.

• Why a New Year Resolution? Why not a New Month Resolution or a New Week Resolution or a New Day Resolution or a Mid-Day Resolution?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri, is it true?

Posted on December 31, 2015 by Sunil Rajguru

An editor told me that a politician told him that an activist told an intellectual that an artist was told by me that XYZ is corrupt.

I will behave like an aam aadmi.
But treat me like a khaas aadmi.
I have the power of a khaas aadmi.
But the responsibility of an aam aadmi.

2015 review.
‪#‎AwardWapsi‬ is in the past.
‪#‎LaluWapsi‬ and ‪#‎KejriWapsi‬ is in the future and will destroy Bihar and Delhi by 2020.

Vadra: Are you serious?
Kejri: Is it true?
Sonia: My MIL is Indira.
Pappu: I’m on vacation.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Rising intolerance.
Media: ‪#‎BlowToModi‬.

#‎KejriExposedXYZButGotExposedInTheProcess‬
XYZ keeps changing every week.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sunil Rajguru's World

A little bit of everything under the sun.

The truth about the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

The limits of the Indian electorate…

Afghanistan: The ultimate kick-ass country…

December 2015 Status Updates

Recycled old New Year musings…

Kejri, is it true?

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