Thak Thak Chutkule 6

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?

Kambli.
Kambli kaun?
Yahi to baat hai, har do saal hum uska naam bhool jaate hai, par woh aata hai yaad dilaane!

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?

Mallya.
Mallya kaun?
Maal laya kya, udan khatole ko udaane ke liye, warna zameen pe hi rahe chup chaap!

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?

Michael.
Michael kaun?
Michael ki cycle stand gir gayi thi, Aussie 21/9 isi mahine hui thi!

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?
Yuvaraj.
Yuvaraj kaun?
Yuva ka raj hain abhi, tu
Test cricket ke liye buddha ho gaya hain!

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?
Bhajji.
Bhajji kaun?
Kya sawaal pooch raha hai guru?
BCCI ka selector hain kya?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More said and unsaid…

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh: No irritants in ties with US.
Unsaid: Pakistan, China, 2G, CWG… nothing irritates me anymore. I have attained Nirvana!

Pakistan: We are still considering the MFN status with India.
Unsaid: We’ve already given them MFN status with regard to export of terrorism, haven’t we?

Indian Media: Justice Markandey Katju is wrong, erroneous and talking absolute crap!
Unsaid: We know that he is right, but if we accept it then how will we be able to function? Which world are you living in man?

BJP: We strongly oppose Mayawati’s move to split Uttar Pradesh into four states.
Unsaid: It’s a brilliant populist move and we wish we could have done it when we were in power!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

India-Windies Test match report in movie titles…

Reference: Second Test between India and West Indies at Eden Gardens, Kolkata, November 14-17, 2011…

Lord of the Cups: The Return of the King, MS Dhoni

Lord of the Spins: The Two Towers, Pragyan Ojha and R Ashwin

Bbuddah… Hoga Tera Baap, Rahul Dravid

Mission Impossible 100, Sachin Tendulkar

Players of the Caribbean: At Wit’s End, the West Indies team

One Wedding and Four Batting Funerals
, R Ashwin

Vidarbha Express, Umesh Yadav

The Exile, Harbhajan Singh

These Versions by Sunil Rajguru

How the economic downturn affects us all…

Head of State: Oh man! That just means more speeches, more meetings, more strategies, more disenchanted voters… and just when I was looking down to settling down to have a relaxing end of term and re-election!

Industrialist: Now my topline and bottomline will be hit (hitting my ego big-time), I’ll have to retrench (I don’t give a damn, but will have to show that I care), I may have to sell one luxury car (to show the media that I’m affected)… and I might have to seek more help from those dratted politicians. Think I’ll just take a long foreign vacation to de-stress.

Rich Western Banker: Damn! I might have to sell my swank new yacht. I used it just once!
Damn these downturns!

Neo-rich Family: What? Eh! Economic downturn?!? Really? Errr… Umm…

Criminal: Really? Who cares!

Middle Class Dude: Inflation! Grrr! Petrol hikes! Grrr! EMIs! Grrr! Politicians! Grrr! Economists! Grrr!
Stress. Anger. Frustration.
“OK, let’s just eat out and watch a movie this weekend to forget all about it!”

Lower Class Sufferer: And I thought I’d be dead by now with my record-low-calorie diet… anyway, time to set a new record for eating much less, working much more and still surviving to live another day…

Destitute Class Human: Another one just fell off the face of the Earth by dying due to hunger and starvation without having the foggiest clue about Marx, Keynes, Hayek, downturns, upturns… and without anyone giving him the slightest damn.

© Sunil Rajguru

Money for nothing and arms for free

Pakistan sure knows how to play America to get billions of dollars for nothing in return for most of the time.

Please sing to the tune of Money for Nothing by Dire Straits…

I want my military fee…

Now look at them generals, that’s the way you do it,
You play the terrorists and then set them free,
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it,
Money for nothin’ and arms for free,
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it.
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb,
Maybe get a little sinister on your swagger,
Maybe get a swagger on your n-bomb.

We gotta install nuclear-tipped missiles,
Custom Chinese and North Korean deliveries,
We gotta move these armies,
We gotta move these hidden Al-Qaidis,

(See the little president with spectacles and the grin,
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair,
That little president got his own jet airplane,
That little president he’s a millionaire)

We gotta install nuclear-tipped missiles,
Custom Chinese and North Korean deliveries,
We gotta move these armies,
We gotta move these hidden Al-Qaidis,

I shoulda learned to play the superpowers,
I shoulda learned to play them dumbs,
Look at that drama, they’ve got the bloody moolah,
Man we could have some,
And they’re up there, what’s that? Nuclear noises?
Bangin’ on the missiles like a chimpanzee,
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it,
Get your money for nothin’ get your arms for free

We gotta install nuclear-tipped missiles,
Custom Chinese and North Korean deliveries,
We gotta move these armies,
We gotta move these hidden Al-Qaidis.
Money for nothin’ and your arms for free,

Look at that, look at that…

Money for nothin’ and your arms for free,
I want my, I want my, I want my military fee,
Money for nothin’ and arms for free…

I want my, I want my, I want my military fee…

(Original Song: Money for Nothing.
Group: Dire Straits.
Year: 1985)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Remixed election jingles for the Yuvraj…

The last couple of decades have thrown many an election jingle…

Here are the Rahul Gandhi remix versions of the same…

Na billi hain na parcha hai,
Bas Rahul ka hi charcha hain,
Par ye kya wakayi accha hai?
Kyunki ye to baccha hain,
Uska soch bhi kuch kaccha hai,
Ye sab solaah aane saccha hai…

Jab tak suraj chand rahega,
Bhrashtachar tera naam rahega,
Rahul beta tu kya karega?

Rahul hai aur Gandhi hai,
Chai ke pyaale main aandhi hai.

Rahul ka haath,
Aam aadmi ke saath,
Maro Manmohan ko laat,
Aur lagao desh ki waat.

Rahul ko lana hai,
Congress ko bachana hai,
Bhale hi desh ko marwana hai.

Manmohan hatao, Rahul lao,
Desh ko dubao, mewa khao,
Congress log naacho, kudo aur gaao.

Koi jaat, koi biradar,
Congress main sabhi barabar,

Unless you’re in the Gandhi biradar.

Aadhi roti hawa main,
Rahul Gandhi tawa pe,
Kya ye desh ki dawa hai?
Abbe kya tu daaru pee ke pada hai?

These jingle versions by Sunil Rajguru