∙ Now they’ve started naming cyclones after places (Thane hitting Chennai).
It all started when Cyclone Ralegaon Siddhi wreaked havoc in New Delhi.
(December 31)
∙ Lalla lalla lori, Lokpal ki katori,
Lokpal main phir addanga,
Anna karega tamasha…
(December 30)
∙ Abhishek Singhvi… power corrupts (UPA1) and absolute power corrupts absolutely (UPA2)…
(December 29)
∙ At times I think that the Lokpal is just a fictional character like Santa Claus and Superman.
∙ Bureaucrat gaddi pe baitha hua hai.
Lawyers Parliament main lad rahe hain.
Judges desh ka policy influence kar rahe hai.
Social Activists netagiri kar rahe hai.
Bhai logon, Bharat ke asal politicians kahan hain?
∙ SRK: Low turnout at Ra.One!
BCCI: Low turnout at Tests!
Anna Hazare: Low turnout at my rally!
Ye sasure Indians kar kya rahe hain?
∙ Paper Tigers burning in the Aussie Agnipariksha.
Will this be the Ashes Duo Sequel?
0-4 with England. 0-4 with Australia.
∙ The Lokpal is a Pal of no Lok… sab pareshan hain… Government, Opposition, Team Anna…
(December 28)
∙Rajiv Gandhi: Hame dekhna hain… (What, god only knows)
Sonia Gandhi: Maine dekh liya hain… (BJP ka asli chehara after being in politics for 13 years)
Rahul Gandhi: Mujhe kuch dikhai nahin de raha hain (phir bhi main bole ja raha hu!)
∙ If you are distressed by alarmist and confrontationist tones of Indian TV news channels, then just watch Doordarshan all day and you’ll find India peaceful.
∙ Stop saying Parliament is Supreme!
The only thing Supreme in Parliament is Arrogance and Stupidity!
∙ Shuru ho gaya TV ka ABC…
Anna Bollywood Cricket.
∙ Sachin Mahashatak Question #79…
Q: What’s common to R Ashwin, Tino Mawoyo and Kirk Edwards?
A: None of them even debuted in Tests when Sachin scored his 99th century and all of them scored a Test 100 before Sachin’s 100th.
(December 26)
∙ Dear PM,
Of course you are right. 2011 is the National Mathematical Year.
What can be more mathematical than Rs 1760000000000?
∙ Abbe Diggy Raja, congReSS ka RSS hata ke dikha!
∙ PM: I am giving Pranab Mukherjee the Troubleshooter of the Year Award.
Pranab: I would like to thank all my colleagues for creating so much trouble in the first place!
∙ Meira Kumar desperately needs a mobile app by which the moment she raises her mobile to the mike, a recorded “Baith jaaiye! Baith jaaiye!” will automatically play.
(December 26)
∙ They’ve apparently decided to merge two reality shows, Swayamwar and Lost, considering how much of a big boss Veena Malik has become in India.
∙ Aaj ka Bharat…
Opposition: PC is guilty!
PC: I am innocent!
PM: PC’s statement is self-explanatory.
Congress spokesman: Next allegation please!
∙ Jab tak sooraj chand rahega,
Lokpal tu ek bill hi rahega…
∙Non-stop Virus attacks on the PC and it is still not crashing!
(Note: The C in PC stands for Chidambaram)
∙ Looks like Sunil Gavaskar is one short of $100 million in his bank account.
Damn you BCCI for not giving him the “single” $1million and denying him his century!
(December 16)
∙ If you replaced Manmohan and Sonia with statues in the Lok Sabha, nobody would notice and it wouldn’t make any difference and the real duo could get down to some actual work outside.
(December 14)
∙ Quote: God loves those who die young.
Corollary: God simply hates most Indian politicians.
∙ Right now in India there’s an intellectual, financial and industrial recession.
In 2012, the UPA will probably have a full-blown United Political Anna-induced recession.
∙ New Kerala-TN theme song… Aaj dekhe zara kisme kitna hai Dam.
∙ Dear thief, Bhajji has already been dropped for the Aus tour. Why waste time stealing his passport?
∙ Sachin Mahashatak Obscure Fact #23…
Even the Capital of Delhi has hit a 100 before him…
(December 13)
∙ A new show is starting…
Kab Banega Crorepati?
∙ Before 1991, India wanted to be like Russia. Now Russia is increasingly becoming like India: Election rigging, allegations of a foreign hand, old leaders clinging to power, uncertainty in economic policy…
∙ Kapil Sibal finally succumbs to Hazare campaign.
Says: Main bhi Anna, UPA bhi Anna, aur saara (cyber)desh main raj kargega Anna (Big Brother).
∙ As his way of getting back, Kapil Sibal is planning to charge advance tax on all those spam lottery notifications you get in your inbox.
∙ Guys, stop celebrating Rajnikanth’s “birth”day!
Do you really think he was born?
He’s been around for ever, but just merely raised his head in 1950.
(December 12)
∙ Ek Lawyer (Mahatma) ne is desh ki neev rakhi…
Ab ye sab Lawyers milke hi us neev ko ukhaad ke desh ko barbaad karenge…
∙ The new Aussie Test Mantra…
Our bowlers are so good that we can get you 100 all down if we please,
And our batsmen are so bad that we can match the above score with ease…
(December 10)
∙ Yesterday was just a sau sau day for all of us…
(December 9)
∙ South (Africa) ki bajayi Sachin ne.
West (Indies) ki bajayi Sehwag ne.
England is in the North and Australia in the East.
(Just Thinking)
∙ Madhya Pradesh to be renamed Dohra Pradesh thanks to the only two ODI 200s on its soil.
∙ Wishlist to Sehwag from never-satisfied Indian fans.
Wanted…
First T20 Century.
Second ODI Double Century.
Third Test Triple Century.
∙ Why Facebook beats Twitter…
I can put 200 exclamation marks for Virender Sehwag’s ODI Double.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
∙ Double Sauwagh!
(December 8)
∙ The total number of Likes that we all have got over our anti-Sibal status messages, links and photographs is actually the number of Hates he has got. Is he listening?
∙ Cyberspace ka apparent motto…
Aaj anti-Sibal status messages laga lo, Kal ho na ho!
∙ Excited at the sudden spurt of generated content yesterday, Google has announced December 6 as Kapil Sibal Day!
(December 7)
∙ Sibal to Pawar: Thappad se dar nahin lagta sahab, status message se lagta hai!
∙ Kapil Sibal has just been re-designated as Minister for Misinformation Technology.
Diggy Raja is upset and now feels jobless.
∙ Advisor to Government: Stop complicating matters, use KISS (Keep it Stupid and Simple).
All hell breaks loose.
Government to advisor: Our mistake, we used Keep it Sibal and Simple…
∙ The Government has decided to junk the Lokpal Bill and come out with a Cyberlokpal Bill instead to arrest corruption of thoughts and ideas on Facebook and Twitter.
∙ It believes in Unilateral Police Action only and that’s why it’s called the UPA.
∙ Cyberspace is definitely the most unsibalized place on Earth, I tell you!
∙ Coming Soon… KS: A condom for the Internet!
(December 6)
∙ Dam 999 review
The film that was a damp box office firecracker…
…but set the political waters on fire… Damn!
∙ Calypso Magic…
At 170/9, remove 1 from 170, so it becomes 169.
Now take that removed 1 and add it to the first digit of the score, so it becomes 269.
Final score: 269/9.
Magician: Ravi Rampaul, 86(66)@No. 10!
(December 2)
∙ Love 2 Hate U = Arjun Rampal saying Love 2 Love U to ALL celebrities.
Stupid Format of insulting unsuspecting and unprepared haters on TV.
Shows Celebrities in India are gutless and can’t face real competition.
This is just part of an Arjun PR Campaign for Celebrities.
∙ Looks like more people have read the Caravan review of Suhel Seth’s new book than have actually read the book…
(December 1)
© Sunil Rajguru