The extremely friendly world of Facebook …

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1. Welcome to Facebook. Connect with the world…
People You May Know…
(Oh ya? How do you know?)

2. X and you have 34 mutual friends.
Y and you have 112 mutual friends.
Z and you have 201 mutual friends.
(OK, OK, I get it.)

3. Add Friend
Add Friend
Add Friend
…
(Not so subtle are you Facebook?)

4. So and so has added a, b, c and x, y and z as friends.
Sunil, More Friends Are Waiting
Mrs xyz found 6 friends by searching her email contacts. Give it a try!
Your friends use the friend finder. Have you tried it yet?

Finally…
OK baba you win, I’ll start sending friend requests to the people you suggested.

Next day…
You have been blocked for sending too many friend requests.
You should not send Friend requests to people you don’t know.
If you keep this up, we will delete your Facebook account!

© Sunil Rajguru

When the Congress wanted to ban opinion polls…

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The Congress motto…
We don’t want opinions.
Only minions.

Overheard in the Congress…
Ye survey kya hota hai?
Hum to sirf madam way jaante hai!

Opinion polls?
If they had their way, they’d ban the 2014 Lok Sabha polls!

Inside the party they want umpteen spokespersons.
Outside the party they only want silent persons.

My way or the highway.
+ My way not the survey.
= Opposition party is a Fascist.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Anything to get rid of Modi…

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They can’t ban Modi.
So they are trying to ban Modi supporters.
They can’t ban opinions.
So they are trying to ban opinion polls.

New Congressi theme song…
Ae mere watan ke logon,
zaraa aankh main bhar lo paani,
jo Modibhakt hue hain unki,
khatam karo poori kahaani…

At any time in a clock it’s either AM or PM.
At any time in the MSM or Social Media, it’s either AM or PM.
(Anti-Modi or Pro-Modi)

#KapilSibal challenges #NaMo to debate.
Problem: Someone in the Light Flyweight category cannot challenge someone in the Heavyweight division.

1977: Anti-Indira.
1989: Anti-Rajiv.
2014: Anti-Modi.
First time a whole election campaign is around the Opposition Leader and not the sitting government.

Modi 24X7, Modi Today, Modi Now, The Times of Modi, Modi Express, The Modi Times, Aaj Modi, Modi India, The Modi…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When India crossed 300 in ODIs yet again…

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The wickets on both ends of Indian ODI pitches should be replaced by tombstones to signify bowlers’ graveyards.

#IndVsAus series report…
Runs, rains, (bowling) ruins, (India) reigns and (Aussie) remains.

Always “Ro”hit Sharma.
Pahale batting karta tha to Indian fans “ro”te the.
Ab opposition bowlers “ro”te hain.

Phata Ishant Sharma ka poster nikla Vinay Kumar Zero.

The RSS hand…
Rohit “Sixer” Sharma.

Today a Black Kite surveyed Chinnaswamy Stadium thinking, “What is this place where white spheres keep flying out all the time!”

For years, MS Dhoni got hammered for persisting with Rohit Sharma and Ravindra Jadeja.
As usual Captain Cool has the last laugh!

Sharma No. 1: Wassup?
Sharma No. 2: Unhone mujhe dho daala!
Sharma No. 1: Don’t worry, chun chun ke badla loonga!
(Key: No. 1 = Rohit. No. 2 = Ishant.)

Sachin-Sehwag-Sharma.
Do Sau-Sau-Sau!

In Bangalore today it will be raining rockets, fireworks, 4s and 6s.
Unless of course there is actual rain.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

October 2013 Status Updates

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Many years ago, they made a Tryst with Corruption.
At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the whole world slept, they looted the nation.

Both Rohit and Ishant made their international debuts in 2007.
Since one Sharma has come really good in 2013, they are hoping the other one will come good too.

Alice in Wonderland: I try to believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Diggy Raja: I try to say as many as six impossible things before dinner.

Congress strategy for 2014…
The Food Security Bill is the Aadhar for our personal NREGA (Nehru-Gandhi-Dynasty Recurring Employment Guarantee Assurance scheme).

(October 31)

A tale of 4 Gujaratis…
Gandhi liberated India.
Jinnah created Pakistan.
Patel united India.
Next in line: Modi.

As Indian election symbols include every object under the sun, polls will now be held during power shutdowns at night with fluorescent election booths.

If Narendra Modi takes over as PM, he could well say…
Humko mita sake ye zamaane main dum nahi, humse hai zamaana, zamaane se hum nahi…

Madhya Pradesh Congress wants EC to hide “Lotus” ponds from voters.
What next?
Roam around with your “Hands” in your pockets till elections?

(October 30)

Before you judge anyone, walk a mile in their shoes.
If you do this with everyone you judge, you will find yourself somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

We have some “Breaking Information” announces an Indian TV anchor.
I think most information is broken only by the time it hits TV channels.

(October 28 )

Yell in office.
Keep walking out of office.
Be corrupt.
Promote your family (Nepotism).
Drown your country & save yourself.
Live long.
(Reference: Indian Politicians)

Yesterday…
USSR=Big Brother watching over all its citizens.
Today…
USA=Super Big Brother watching over all global citizens.

Obama: I spy with my little eye something beginning with M.
Merkel: Oh God! I thought it was a game. I didn’t think it would actually be my mobile!

(October 27)

Yesterday: How many movies are in the Bollywood Rs 100 Crore Club?
Today: How many cities are in the Onion Rs 100/kg Club?

Very soon Bollywood will release an exclusive list of stars who are not in the Rs 100 Crore Club.

If Ranbir Kapoor and Virat Kohli require deodorant to get female attention, then most of the girls in India will surely remain single.

(October 26)

Main bhi Sachin Tendulkar ban-na chahata hu.
#Onion #Petrol #Dollar #Century

(October 22)

© Sunil Rajguru