For 25 years: Happily married!
Some time back: Working on our relationship.
After that: It’s complicated.
Now: We haven’t the foggiest idea what our relationship status is!
Congress-NCP: We’ll have what they’re having.
MNS: Now in the relationship (or marriage) market.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
![polar-bear-2199534_640](http://www.sunilrajguru.com/"wp-content/uploads"/2017/03/polar-bear-2199534_640.jpg)
Recently US President Barack Obama said that Climate Change was America’s biggest threat and one even greater than terrorism.
If he really believed that then he would announce the following…
We are conducting joint air strikes over the most polluting industries in the world.
We are sending CIA operatives to find out how the biggest corporates are the biggest polluters and are bending rules to pollute the environment.
We are sending thousands marines all over the world to protect areas like the Amazon forest.
We are conducting economic sanctions against all the countries which happen to be the biggest polluters in the world.
We will use our veto power in the United Nations to pass and not block resolutions which realize the gravity of Climate Change.
However…
…we’d rather use all the above resources to blow the living daylights out of the poorest zones of the world so that they will breed more resentment that will necessitate a backlash that will lead to further strikes ad infinitum, thereby damning the environment of those particular zones ad infinitum.
Hello terrorism, goodbye environment.
© Sunil Rajguru
Maharashtra politics…
2006: Pramod Mahajan, RIP.
2012: Vilasrao Deshmukh, RIP.
2012: Balasaheb Thackeray, RIP.
2014: Gopinath Munde, RIP.
2014: BJP-Sena alliance, RIP.
2014: Congress-NCP alliance, RIP.
February 14: Valentine’s Day.
September 25: Breakup Day.
When the news channels didn’t know whether they were breaking or not…
The BJP-Shiv Sena alliance is like Schrodinger’s Cat because it is simultaneously alive and dead.
Breaking News for 10 days…
BJP-Shiv Sena/NCP-Congress on the verge of breaking/breakthrough.
(Means we haven’t the foggiest idea but we will say we were right no matter what happens in the end)
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
You may…
…support the scams of One Leader.
But not the schemes of all other leaders.
You may…
…lick the boots of One Leader.
But not tolerate a help tying the bootlaces of any other leader.
You may…
…respect the privacy of One Leader.
But give bad publicity to every other leader over minor private things.
You may…
…tolerate the dictatorship of One Leader.
But call minor democratic deviations of any other leader a dictatorship.
You may…
…celebrate if One Leader decides to do remote control.
But thrash any other leader who even seeks to guide his or her juniors.
You may…
…look the other way when One Leader leaves the country surreptitiously for the umpteenth time.
But pounce on any other leader when he or she steps out of her home.
You may…
…accept the education and experience shortcomings of One Leader and her right to rule the country.
But pounce on any other 12th pass leader who even heads a department.
You may…
Ignore the major scams of one party president.
But go after every allegation of another party president.
You may…
…be petrified of One Leader.
But attack every other leader 24X7.
All leaders are equal.
But One Leader is more equal than others.
© Sunil Rajguru
Pakistan’s Indianised Trimurti…
Sharif: As ineffective as Manmohan.
Imran: As anarchic as Kejriwal.
Bilawal: As idiotic as Pappu.
Bilawal Bhutto lost his Cashmere wool sweater.
He screamed: I will get back my Cashmere, every inch of it!
As usual, social media went crazy for no reason.
Modi beat him to PM’s chair.
Kejri beat him to media coverage.
Bilawal beat him to clown princedom.
Poor Pappu!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Dear Bilawal,
First try to take Pakistan from the Pakistani Army.
Then fantasize about taking Kashmir from the Indian Army.
Zulfikar: We’ll eat grass but build the bomb.
Benazir: We’ll eat grass but build self-destructing militancy.
Bilawal: We’ll eat grass.
Bilawal: Why is our country called Pakistan?
Papa: P for Punjab, A for Afghania, K for Kashmir…
Bilawal: What? We’ll take back Kashmir!!!
Bilawal Bhutto heard it as…
Doodh maangoge to kheer denge,
Kashmir maangoge to beer denge.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru