If Kejri’s landline goes Ring Ring, how does his mobile go?
A: Sting Sting!
What do AAPians download on their mobiles?
A: Sting Tones!
What is Kejri’s favourite movie?
A: Sting is King.
What is Kejri’s most potent weapon against the opposition?
A: Stinger Missile.
What search engine do AAPians use to search for stings?
A: Microsoft Sting.
Ninja Hattori goes Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding…
Ninja Kejri goes Sting Sting Sting Sting Sting Sting…
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
![desert-790640_640](http://www.sunilrajguru.com/"wp-content/uploads"/2015/03/desert-790640_640.jpg)
There is a famous story which a genius wrote…
There were two murderers who wanted to kill a man. They waited for their opportunity. They got it when they found out that the man was going on a long trek in the desert. The first murderer went in the night and put poison in his water bag. The second murderer went before the crack of dawn and punctured the water bag with a small pin. When the man left, the water leaked drop by drop and when the man was thirsty he found his water bag empty.
The man died of thirst in the desert.
After the enquiry, both murderers pleaded innocence.
Murderer 1: But he didn’t die of my poison and so I didn’t kill him!
Murderer 2: I actually did a noble thing! I emptied the bag of poison and so I actually saved him!
They both got away even though a man had died!
This story reminds me of Manmohan and Sonia.
Sonia: I wasn’t the PM and didn’t sign anything.
Manmohan: I did nothing and got no gain, I was merely taking orders!
They both got away even though India got rammed for 10 years.
In fact if they were ever interrogated together, the conversation would probably go something like this…
Manmohan: She made me do it.
Sonia: But he signed the papers.
Manmohan: She made me sign the papers.
Sonia: But he was the Prime Minister.
Manmohan: But she was the remote control.
Sonia: You can’t prove I did anything.
Manmohan: You can’t prove that I took any money.
Sonia: Kalmadi and Raja didn’t report to me.
Manmohan: Kalmadi reports to International Olympic Committee, Raja to Karunanidhi.
Sonia: Show me the scam!
Manmohan: Show me the money!
Sonia: I wasn’t in office, you can’t prosecute me.
Manmohan: I am Mr Clean, I took no money!
Case closed even though the country lost lakhs of crores due to them!
This version by Sunil Rajguru
Lord of the Stings trilogy…
I Fellowship of the Sting—AAPians get together and sting everyone.
II The Twin Towers—YoYa and PrBh wreak havoc.
III Return of the King—Kejri is back from naturopathy and crushes one and all to reclaim his throne.
BJP before polls…
#ChaiPeCharcha
AAP after polls…
#StingPeCharcha
Congress before and after polls…
#PappuKaKyaKarePeCharcha
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
When a fake story of a PM wearing a Rs 10 lakh suit came, tremendous outrage.
When a real story came of a PM causing a loss of Rs 2 lakh crore—well that’s OK!
Corrupt (adjective): Having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.
(Sticking on to PM’s chair = Personal gain.)
Usage: Manmohan Singh is corrupt to the core.
CWG scam—Off with Kalmadi!
2G scam—Off with Raja!
Coalgate—Err… ummm… the Coal Minister/Prime Minister is such a sweet fellow na?
Bolo Manmohan beta, C for Coalgate.
Manmohan: Nahin! C for Clean chit from madam. So there!
Pahele chori. (UPA2’s Coalgate, 2G, CWG, etc etc etc)
Fir seena zori. (#MarchForManmohan #IStandWithMMS)
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
We will provide 15 lakh CCTV cameras (for our 15 lakh AAP supporters to conduct non-stop stings), free Wi-Fi (so that the 15 lakh stings may be passed about seamlessly), free power (so that the computers and mobiles never go off during these sting operations) and free water (so that hum sab chullu bhar paani main doob sake 2020 main).
Meanwhile our Internal Lokpal will be busy adjudicating these stings and never have time to focus on real issues and at the same time we will give millions of hours of free entertainment to all the hundreds of TV channels in India so that they will never ever focus on our governance or political misdeeds.
(Come to think of it, we should register ourselves as an entertainment company instead of a political party and we’d all be multi-billionaires in no time!)
© Sunil Rajguru
Q1: Who was Coal Minister when Coalgate happened?
Q2: Who was Atomic Energy Minister when Thorium scam happened?
Q3: Who was Space Minister when ISRO scam happened?
Q4: Cash for votes helped which Prime Minister?
Q5: Who was Prime Minister when 2G, CWG, DIAL, Radia… scams happened?
A1/2/3/4/5: Manmohan Singh is the cleanest and most honest politician in the history of Independent India.
Q6: Then who is responsible?
A6: Since Manmohan is the cleanest and most honest politician in the history of Independent India and Sonia Gandhi wasn’t ever Prime Minister, nobody is responsible.
Q7: Raja claims he was taking orders from Manmohan. Can he be considered guilty?
A7: Since it is claimed that Manmohan was taking orders from Sonia, again, nobody is responsible.
Q8: What about the National Herald scam?
A8: Where is the scam?
Q9: Where did all the scam money go?
A9: Precisely! Nobody saw the scam money go anywhere and hence there was no scam money.
Q10: Where are the fabled acche din?
A10: Are you kidding? For scamsters they started in 1947 and are still continuing. Come to think of it, they really began during British rule!
Parting shot…
Good governance has many fathers but all scams are orphans.
© Sunil Rajguru